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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Inspirational
- Subject: Death / Heartbreak / Loss
- Published: 11/24/2013
Mary Ann
Born 1961, F, from Kalispell, MT, United States.jpg)
Mary Ann
By P.S. Winn
Copyright 2013
Greg and I had been married three years when the doctor finally gave us the good news that we had been hoping for. I was pregnant. Greg and I were ecstatic. We had been trying without luck these past three years to have a child.
Over the next few months we turned the spare bedroom into a nursery. We bought a beautiful white crib and a bassinet to match. We had everything almost finished by the time I was six months along and beginning to feel fat.
Greg was working for a small law firm. With a new addition coming we felt our life would be perfect.
I made all sorts of little baby booties and was slowly trying to crochet a baby blanket. I had high hopes it would be finished in time to bring the new baby home wrapped in it.
One night in late October I was busy on the blanket, when a sharp cramp ran through my stomach and into my back. I gasped with the pain. This couldn’t be labor. I was only seven months along. Greg who had been watching T.V. turned to me worriedly when he heard me gasp.
I smiled and told him not to worry. A short time later another wrenching pain shot through me and I began the worrying. I screamed with this pain. Was this labor? Could my baby be coming early and what did that mean for the baby’s health and chances of survival? I knew that a lot of babies were preemies and survived, although a lot of them were also plagued with illnesses and sometimes even birth defects. I would love any child I had, no matter what, but it was a cruel world out there for anyone, let alone a child with special problems.
I didn’t have much time to focus on my worried thoughts as another pain hit me. Greg left the room returning seconds later with my pre-packed hospital bag. He also called the doctor to meet us at the hospital.
I was only in labor for seven hours. At 4:15 a.m. October 24th our little Mary Ann came into this world. She weighed in at 3 pounds 5 ounces and only 14 inches long. So tiny, and so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of our little angel. Looking at Greg, seated in the room with us, I could see my emotions echoed on his face.
I was released the day after Mary Ann’s birth, but she was kept a week. I spent the days at the hospital with her. My nights I spent crying and waiting for the day I could bring my little miracle girl home.
Greg was wonderful for me and to me that week. I never could have handled those long nights without Greg by my side.
Finally the long week passed and Mary Ann came home to her nursery. She was such a blessing; the only crying she did was when she was hungry. She ate every two hours, hungrily trying to catch up and gain the weight she hadn't been given at birth.
Both Greg’s parents and mine lived far away, so it was just Greg and I caring for Mary Ann. Greg got up at night, taking over the four a.m. feeding, giving me the extra sleep I so desperately needed. I felt lucky to have such a lovely husband and such a beautiful daughter.
At Christmas time, Greg and I couldn't resist buying little Mary Ann everything. We were especially partial to stuffed animals. Pink teddy bears, huge giraffes and pink unicorns were wrapped and put under the tree. The packages built up and up.
Mary Ann weighed in at six and a half pounds on that, her first Christmas. She was barely able to lift her head. Greg and I laid Mary Ann on her blanket and watched her eyes sparkle as they in turn watched the blinking Christmas tree lights.
Picture after picture was taken. Mary Ann alone, with me, with Greg, with her presents. Our new little family spent a wonderful Christmas, our first together. A memory to last a life time.
On Valentine’s Day Greg brought me candy and flowers. Mary Ann was given a tiny red dress with white hearts and lots of lace. Her eight pounds filled the little dress perfectly. I brought her out to the front room to show Greg. As we watched our precious girl, she gave us a valentine’s present, a smile, an actual smile. It lit up her tiny face. My heart filled so full of love it hurt. I could hardly stand it and felt like it would burst any moment.
Life was so good, allowing me to be a mother to this little angel. It was hard to believe Greg and I had created this beautiful girl. How lucky we were.
After that first smile, Mary Ann began growing quickly. Each new thing she did was a miracle to me. In late March, Mary Ann turned five months old. Greg’s parents came to visit. They of course fell in love with there now eleven pound granddaughter. Mary Ann would lie on the living room floor and roll from her stomach to her back and then to her stomach again. The look of concentration on her tiny face had everyone laughing. When Mary Ann would finish her feat, her whole face would light up with her accomplishment.
Right after Greg’s parents left, mine came to visit. They too were treated to Mary Ann’s special ways. While they visited Mary Ann learned to sit up. She was still so tiny as she sat alone on either the living room or kitchen floor. She couldn't sit steady for too long. She’d topple over and then giggle. The little laugh was a high pitched happy sound and music to my ears as it floated through the house. Without realizing it, I would smile with each giggle and laugh that Mary Ann put out.
After the Grandparents left, Greg and I again had Mary Ann to ourselves to love and cherish.
On Easter we took Mary Ann to the park. She had such fun watching the other children run and play. When Mary Ann would hear another Child’s laughter she would join in. Always such a happy child.
The spring days grew longer as our Mary Ann also grew. By the end of May she weighed almost fourteen pounds. Although she was still tiny for seven months.
Greg and I bought Mary Ann a little jumper for inside. She would sit in it and jump for hours. Smiling as she jumped higher and higher. We also placed a swing outside, the kind you wind up. The music played as the swing swayed back and forth. I’d sit outside and watch Mary Ann swing. I never got tired of watching her. Each day seemed to hold something new.
I’d sit outside with Mary Ann during the day. At nights Greg would come home and play for hours with his little princess. She accepted our love easily. Mary Ann was generous with her hugs and kisses too. She made us feel as special as we knew her to be.
Soon it was summer. At night now it was warmer and Greg and I would sit outside with Mary Ann as she pointed in wondering amazement at the bright stars in the night’s dark sky.
On the fourth day of July, we kept Mary Ann awake to watch the fireworks. As she pointed at each one she would squeal with delight. I felt like a child myself as I caught Mary Ann’s excitement. After the fireworks, Mary Ann fell quickly asleep. It was well past her bedtime. I placed her in her crib, knowing she’d be back up in a few hours. She still hadn't accomplished the task of sleeping all night. I was used to my interrupted sleep by now, Greg and I, both tired from the night’s fun were soon also asleep.
I awoke the next morning to the sound of our alarm. I was thinking I must have really been tired the night before, I didn’t even remember getting up to feed Mary Ann. Maybe she had slept all night also, that would have been a first. I reached over and shook Greg, telling him it was time to wake up.
I walked in to Mary Ann’s room and over to her crib. If she had slept all night she was going to definitely need changing. I reached into the crib and picked up Mary Ann. Her body felt stiff. It also seemed cold. Suddenly I heard myself scream. The next thing I knew Greg was taking Mary Ann and shaking me. Yelling at me to call an ambulance. I went to the phone in the living room and numbly dialed the three digit emergency number. I talked to a faceless male voice.
I looked up as I heard Greg enter the room. He was carrying Mary Ann. He layed her small body on the couch and began CPR. I remembered now how he had insisted both of us take that course when it had been offered over a year ago.
I could hear the ambulance sirens as they came up the street. Greg lifted Mary Ann and ran with her through the front door and out to the ambulance.
He returned alone, telling me to throw on some clothes. I looked down confused; I didn’t realize I was still in my night gown. I slowly walked in to our bedroom as did as I was told. I felt like I was in a trance, not really a part of what was going on.
At the hospital we were met by a young doctor. The dreadful words tumbled from his mouth. There had been no hope for Mary Ann.
She had died peacefully in her sleep on July 5th at approximately 2:45 a.m. That was when our precious Mary Ann left this world.
I know my story seems to be a sad one, but it really isn't. I, who waited so long for a child, got a very special, perfect child for 8 months.
I now can look back fondly on each special moment in our life together. Mary Ann gave me love unconditionally; me and Greg. She helped me to experience and treasure the small things life gives us.
Although Mary Ann’s life was short, it was long in its lasting effect.
I have kept everything of Mary Ann’s. Even her room is the same. Some days I sit in her room and think of how blessed that I was to have my dear Mary Ann. I feel grief over her untimely death, but I know and feel some day I will see my precious angel again.
Until then, I am just thankful I had the time I was given to share with her, our special Mary Ann.
Mary Ann(P.S. Winn)
Mary Ann
By P.S. Winn
Copyright 2013
Greg and I had been married three years when the doctor finally gave us the good news that we had been hoping for. I was pregnant. Greg and I were ecstatic. We had been trying without luck these past three years to have a child.
Over the next few months we turned the spare bedroom into a nursery. We bought a beautiful white crib and a bassinet to match. We had everything almost finished by the time I was six months along and beginning to feel fat.
Greg was working for a small law firm. With a new addition coming we felt our life would be perfect.
I made all sorts of little baby booties and was slowly trying to crochet a baby blanket. I had high hopes it would be finished in time to bring the new baby home wrapped in it.
One night in late October I was busy on the blanket, when a sharp cramp ran through my stomach and into my back. I gasped with the pain. This couldn’t be labor. I was only seven months along. Greg who had been watching T.V. turned to me worriedly when he heard me gasp.
I smiled and told him not to worry. A short time later another wrenching pain shot through me and I began the worrying. I screamed with this pain. Was this labor? Could my baby be coming early and what did that mean for the baby’s health and chances of survival? I knew that a lot of babies were preemies and survived, although a lot of them were also plagued with illnesses and sometimes even birth defects. I would love any child I had, no matter what, but it was a cruel world out there for anyone, let alone a child with special problems.
I didn’t have much time to focus on my worried thoughts as another pain hit me. Greg left the room returning seconds later with my pre-packed hospital bag. He also called the doctor to meet us at the hospital.
I was only in labor for seven hours. At 4:15 a.m. October 24th our little Mary Ann came into this world. She weighed in at 3 pounds 5 ounces and only 14 inches long. So tiny, and so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of our little angel. Looking at Greg, seated in the room with us, I could see my emotions echoed on his face.
I was released the day after Mary Ann’s birth, but she was kept a week. I spent the days at the hospital with her. My nights I spent crying and waiting for the day I could bring my little miracle girl home.
Greg was wonderful for me and to me that week. I never could have handled those long nights without Greg by my side.
Finally the long week passed and Mary Ann came home to her nursery. She was such a blessing; the only crying she did was when she was hungry. She ate every two hours, hungrily trying to catch up and gain the weight she hadn't been given at birth.
Both Greg’s parents and mine lived far away, so it was just Greg and I caring for Mary Ann. Greg got up at night, taking over the four a.m. feeding, giving me the extra sleep I so desperately needed. I felt lucky to have such a lovely husband and such a beautiful daughter.
At Christmas time, Greg and I couldn't resist buying little Mary Ann everything. We were especially partial to stuffed animals. Pink teddy bears, huge giraffes and pink unicorns were wrapped and put under the tree. The packages built up and up.
Mary Ann weighed in at six and a half pounds on that, her first Christmas. She was barely able to lift her head. Greg and I laid Mary Ann on her blanket and watched her eyes sparkle as they in turn watched the blinking Christmas tree lights.
Picture after picture was taken. Mary Ann alone, with me, with Greg, with her presents. Our new little family spent a wonderful Christmas, our first together. A memory to last a life time.
On Valentine’s Day Greg brought me candy and flowers. Mary Ann was given a tiny red dress with white hearts and lots of lace. Her eight pounds filled the little dress perfectly. I brought her out to the front room to show Greg. As we watched our precious girl, she gave us a valentine’s present, a smile, an actual smile. It lit up her tiny face. My heart filled so full of love it hurt. I could hardly stand it and felt like it would burst any moment.
Life was so good, allowing me to be a mother to this little angel. It was hard to believe Greg and I had created this beautiful girl. How lucky we were.
After that first smile, Mary Ann began growing quickly. Each new thing she did was a miracle to me. In late March, Mary Ann turned five months old. Greg’s parents came to visit. They of course fell in love with there now eleven pound granddaughter. Mary Ann would lie on the living room floor and roll from her stomach to her back and then to her stomach again. The look of concentration on her tiny face had everyone laughing. When Mary Ann would finish her feat, her whole face would light up with her accomplishment.
Right after Greg’s parents left, mine came to visit. They too were treated to Mary Ann’s special ways. While they visited Mary Ann learned to sit up. She was still so tiny as she sat alone on either the living room or kitchen floor. She couldn't sit steady for too long. She’d topple over and then giggle. The little laugh was a high pitched happy sound and music to my ears as it floated through the house. Without realizing it, I would smile with each giggle and laugh that Mary Ann put out.
After the Grandparents left, Greg and I again had Mary Ann to ourselves to love and cherish.
On Easter we took Mary Ann to the park. She had such fun watching the other children run and play. When Mary Ann would hear another Child’s laughter she would join in. Always such a happy child.
The spring days grew longer as our Mary Ann also grew. By the end of May she weighed almost fourteen pounds. Although she was still tiny for seven months.
Greg and I bought Mary Ann a little jumper for inside. She would sit in it and jump for hours. Smiling as she jumped higher and higher. We also placed a swing outside, the kind you wind up. The music played as the swing swayed back and forth. I’d sit outside and watch Mary Ann swing. I never got tired of watching her. Each day seemed to hold something new.
I’d sit outside with Mary Ann during the day. At nights Greg would come home and play for hours with his little princess. She accepted our love easily. Mary Ann was generous with her hugs and kisses too. She made us feel as special as we knew her to be.
Soon it was summer. At night now it was warmer and Greg and I would sit outside with Mary Ann as she pointed in wondering amazement at the bright stars in the night’s dark sky.
On the fourth day of July, we kept Mary Ann awake to watch the fireworks. As she pointed at each one she would squeal with delight. I felt like a child myself as I caught Mary Ann’s excitement. After the fireworks, Mary Ann fell quickly asleep. It was well past her bedtime. I placed her in her crib, knowing she’d be back up in a few hours. She still hadn't accomplished the task of sleeping all night. I was used to my interrupted sleep by now, Greg and I, both tired from the night’s fun were soon also asleep.
I awoke the next morning to the sound of our alarm. I was thinking I must have really been tired the night before, I didn’t even remember getting up to feed Mary Ann. Maybe she had slept all night also, that would have been a first. I reached over and shook Greg, telling him it was time to wake up.
I walked in to Mary Ann’s room and over to her crib. If she had slept all night she was going to definitely need changing. I reached into the crib and picked up Mary Ann. Her body felt stiff. It also seemed cold. Suddenly I heard myself scream. The next thing I knew Greg was taking Mary Ann and shaking me. Yelling at me to call an ambulance. I went to the phone in the living room and numbly dialed the three digit emergency number. I talked to a faceless male voice.
I looked up as I heard Greg enter the room. He was carrying Mary Ann. He layed her small body on the couch and began CPR. I remembered now how he had insisted both of us take that course when it had been offered over a year ago.
I could hear the ambulance sirens as they came up the street. Greg lifted Mary Ann and ran with her through the front door and out to the ambulance.
He returned alone, telling me to throw on some clothes. I looked down confused; I didn’t realize I was still in my night gown. I slowly walked in to our bedroom as did as I was told. I felt like I was in a trance, not really a part of what was going on.
At the hospital we were met by a young doctor. The dreadful words tumbled from his mouth. There had been no hope for Mary Ann.
She had died peacefully in her sleep on July 5th at approximately 2:45 a.m. That was when our precious Mary Ann left this world.
I know my story seems to be a sad one, but it really isn't. I, who waited so long for a child, got a very special, perfect child for 8 months.
I now can look back fondly on each special moment in our life together. Mary Ann gave me love unconditionally; me and Greg. She helped me to experience and treasure the small things life gives us.
Although Mary Ann’s life was short, it was long in its lasting effect.
I have kept everything of Mary Ann’s. Even her room is the same. Some days I sit in her room and think of how blessed that I was to have my dear Mary Ann. I feel grief over her untimely death, but I know and feel some day I will see my precious angel again.
Until then, I am just thankful I had the time I was given to share with her, our special Mary Ann.
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