The Joys of Teenagers

The Joys of Teenagers(Zelda) THE JOYS OF TEENAGERS!

I am dedicating this to the parents (but especially Mothers) of teenagers who have entered or are on the brink of entering the ‘Twilight Zone”.
My first word of advice is to go straight to your doctor, demand large quantities of stress medication, kiss any ounce of sanity you thought you still had goodbye and brace yourself for the ride of your life.

Living with a teenager is not as simple as thinking that one day they are up and one day they are down. On the contrary, it’s more a case of - in the small space of one minute they are so happy and laughing, then moping, frowning and sobbing their eyes out, and this all happens in a matter of sixty seconds flat!
Impossible, it can’t be done I hear you say. Clearly you don’t have a teenager. It can be done, and it has been done and will continue to be done for centuries to come.

Whatever you do, don’t feel bewildered and confused or spend hours wondering what you did to provoke this flurry of emotion. Trust me, you did nothing. I finally gave up trying to make sense of it all, and just like my insanity; I simply accepted this behaviour as normal and embraced it. ‘Before long you will find yourself pre-empting the order in which they lose it (I liken this behaviour to ‘looing it’ because they can sometimes resemble some rambling maniac), and then patting yourself on the back when you get it right.

They call this period of a teenager’s life the hormonally challenging stage of their life. Some say girls are worse than boys and personally I have to agree. Where my daughter would throw the whole Oscar performing temper tantrum, in contrast my son would simply mumble something under his breath, and then bellow out the infamous “whatever” word and storm off, followed by the inevitable door slamming. To this day, I still do not know how that door has remained on its hinges?

Britney Spears once sang a song that put this stage of their life most aptly: Not quite a girl, but not yet a woman. In other words, they have no idea who they are or what they want.

After endless arguments with my teenage daughter, I happened to hear a wise psychologist suggest that as parents we should try putting ourselves in our teenagers shoes, and see things from their point of view. (Slight problem, seeing I am a size seven and she is a six, but I got what he was saying).
Initially my first response was “her point of view my foot! My house, my rules, and I’m the boss around here.” (Don’t tell my husband – he still thinks he is the boss).
Fortunately, common sense prevailed and I decided to give this concept a go with some very interesting results.

I recall the first time I put this into practice. My daughter had reached that stage in her life where it is totally un-cool to be seen with your parents, and she asked me to drop her off around the corner and not at the entrance to the school like I used to.
My first re-action was to get all defensive and book her a first class ticket on the ‘guilt express, followed by a very impressive pity party I was planning on throwing myself.
“After everything I have done for you, and now you are ashamed of me, is that how I get treated now – fine, if that’s the way you want it!” I hissed out of my clenched and pouting lips. In a tantrum that would make a three year old proud, I drove off, tires screeching and any remaining common sense blown straight out of the window.

An hour or so later, when I had finally calmed down, I tried to justify my less than adult behaviour, but soon realized nothing I said to myself could justify going off at her like that.
Being the analytical thinker that I am, I mulled over what had transpired, and soon realized that her request was actually not at all un-reasonable, and when I was her age, I also did not want to be seen with my parents. I soon realized that if I handled the situation correctly, I knew once again the time would come when ‘hanging’ with her parents would be okay.
With this new found wisdom, I gracefully retreated into the background of my daughter’s life, until I was once again summoned to walk alongside her. (Usually this would happen when a new item of clothing was required).

The scariest thing of all is that this big change happens so fast that you don’t even get time to prepare yourself.
One day you go to bed and kiss your little angel goodnight and the next morning when you wake up and enter her room, your little angel body has been invaded by the body snatchers and in her place is this ‘little Madam’ of note!
Placing “Little angel lost” posters all over the place will be of no help either.
All you can do is hide the credit cards, haul out the baby photos and buckle up.
The good ol’ days of Barbie dolls are over and suddenly Ken looks a lot more interesting and in order to attract the ‘Kens’ of this worlds attention, one has to look drop dead gorgeous, so nothing and I mean nothing but brand clothing will do.

Without warning, you become so yesterday along with the brand new denims you bought an hour ago.
Actually, come to think of it, everything and everyone becomes so yesterday, and this applies to whatever happened a mere five minutes ago.
As a parent you know nothing, understand less and are considered the meanest person on this planet.
You are considered an old fashioned party pooper who was put on this earth to make their life a living hell. You are not permitted to ask what is wrong when they come home dragging not only their suitcase on the floor, but their bottom lip as well.

The reason is simple. You just won’t understand, and if you try and give your opinion, you are bound to be shot down with the infamous “Oh please mom, that’s how things were in your days, things have changed since then!”

Teachers and friends know everything at this stage, and what they say is as good as gospel.
However, don’t feel bad. It is only a matter of time, and the teachers will be joining you. They too will know nothing, thus leaving the wisdom of the world in the hands of some very hormonally challenged teenagers. Scary thought to say the least.

Just as you think that you have made it through this stage of their life with a degree of sanity still intact, along comes the age of rebellion.
This stage of their life is probably the most terrifying of all.
It is at this stage of their life that they experience absolutely no brain activity and even less common sense. These teenagers consider themselves immortal and thus live as if they are indestructible and untouchable.
It will seem as if every rule you ever make will be broken, and every last nerve you have will be trampled on. There will be days that you will feel as if a herd of marauding elephants just stampeded through your life leaving you shattered and wondering what the heck just happened?
There will be days that you will look at this alien creature standing in front of you and wonder “who the heck are you, and what have you done with my child?”
You long for those erratic mood swings you endured as they entered teenage hood – because anything seems easier to handle than what you are forced to deal with as they charge forward – showing total disregard for all and sundry.
The only thing that brings you any comfort is just knowing – ‘that this too shall pass’.