Journey to a Simpler Life

I don’t know when I decided I wanted to be a simplest. As a child when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’m sure I said a Veterinarian or a mommy. I’m positive I didn’t say “a simplest”. I was actually well on the road to becoming a simplest before I even knew the lifestyle I was seeking had a moniker. I was just looking for something slower paced, more time shared with family doing what I wanted, and based less on material objects.

I think this all began in 2008 when my father lost his battle with cancer. We all knew it was coming and were very prepared. After his funeral we cleaned out his closets and my brother cleaned out his work room in the basement, then life went on. My mother insisted she was not going to leave the home she shared with my father for over 40 years, even though it was way too big for her. We all stepped up and helped as much as we could. I stopped by most mornings to make sure she got out of bed and had breakfast. My older sister gave up her Saturdays to bring fresh bakery goods and help mom with her weekly shower. My brother took on the burden of handling my mom’s finances and all the maintenance of the old house and yard. My youngest sister stepped up the most, going over every evening and having dinner with my mom and staying with her until she was tucked into bed. She also did all the shopping and laundry. For a while I tried to do dinner and bed time once a week so she could have a night off. This worked for several years.

In May of 2010, my husband’s mother passed away from congestive heart failure. After almost twenty-five years of marriage, she was my second mother and held a very special place in my heart. A few days after the funeral we began the task of cleaning out her home of thirty years. Family members took items that had special meaning to them or reminded them of mom. Everything else went to charity. Clothing, household items, knick knacks, furniture. Jim and I, along with his sisters, spent several weeks packing it up, and then preparing the house for sale. It was a difficult job while we were all still mourning our loss. Her scent still filled the house and her angels watched as all the little reminders of her life were being packed up and given away. I envisioned them being placed on the shelves of a resale store and wondered what kind of person would buy them.

The next two years were very difficult for my mom. Although her health was deteriorating quickly she was very stubborn and refused to consider moving to a smaller home or assisted living facility. She fell, then fell again. Pretty soon I went to bed at night wondering if I would get a phone call during the night to come help her up. She required several extended hospitalizations followed by stays in rehab facilities. And, finally, in late winter of 2012, while staying at a facility that offered long term care, she decided to make it her new home. I was thrilled with her decision.

And so began the biggest and most difficult job of my life, liquidating my own family home. My mother was a keeper. Not a hoarder like you see on TV with stacks of newspapers and soup cans. She just kept things. Her house was very clean and still decorated in stylish 1970’s décor. In the basement closet I found both my first communion dress and my first prom dress. All of our Halloween costumes along with costumes she made for school plays. The basement room where we played as children looked almost exactly the same. All of the toys, games and dolls that we played with, and then our children played with years later. Boxes of dishes, glasses, clothes. I spent many hours cleaning out closets, reliving old memories and crying. This was where I spent my formative years. Although I had not lived in the home for over 30 years, I lived only a half mile away. Always a phone call away. Now I no longer had that bond. On the Sunday before the sale on the house closed, Jim and I went back to the house for the last time along with our two children, Amy and Matt. Amy and Matt spent also a good portion of their childhood in the house. Living so close we visited often and as they got older they were able to ride their bikes over alone. They both learned to drive on the side streets between the houses. I placed my garage door opener on the countertop and we said goodbye to the house for the last time.

If the experiences of the past two years taught me anything at all it was that I absolutely did not want to leave a big house full of stuff to my children. Stuff that may have been important the day I bought it but would mean nothing on the day I died. Our first step was to look for a nice small home outside of the suburbs where we had always stayed to be close to our parents. Someplace we could enjoy the simpler country life. And so, for the third year in a row, my husband and I began cleaning out our house. We started with the least used areas. The crawl space which was still home of the baby and toddler beds. They could definitely go, several boxes of wedding gifts, I'm sure they were given with good intentions, but it's been 28 years and we haven't used them yet. Pack, throw away, give away, sell. By the time we were done our house resembled a thrift store more than the place we had lived the past 16 years of our lives. Even I was amazed with how much stuff I easily parted with.

After a weekend of moving sales, followed by a couple weeks of unpacking and organizing at the new house, I am happy to say we are moved in. Our new home has furniture and the walls aren't bare. We have just scaled back tremendously. I no longer buy something because it's pretty or I like it. I think about if I need it or if it will enhance our lifestyle. We are dedicated to enjoying a simpler lifestyle. We sit on the porch and watch the horses next door. We walk our dogs and take them swimming in the creek. I've made more home cooked meals and baked from scratch than I've done in years. We got a late start this year but next spring we plan to put in a garden and plant some fruit trees. I want to raise chickens and learn to make preserves. We have a whole lifetime ahead of us and aren't in any hurry to get there.


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