I DON'T KNOW(shalide) IDK

I really don’t know what’s going on; I’m feeling, I don’t know, I have no idea how to explain this feeling. I’m sitting here on my chair at work and
there are so many thing going in my mind right now. I remember a girl from my past. I really wish I could super power to go back in time and change everything but I think everything happens for a reason. I believe that every single day we learn something new, even if we go to school or not, maybe at work, maybe from something that happened in the past, sometimes thanks to Google.

Anyway, the gal I was talking about, she is one of the greatest things that happened to me. We were so madly in love with each other. she used to write me poems, I drew pictures for her. We were together for like 11 months. I know it’s not a long time period but those 11 months I’ll never forget. That cute little smile of hers i'll not forget that. The first day I saw her I still remember the way she looked at me, that’s the most innocent face I have ever seen. This story started when I was schooling. Now I’m done schooling and I’m working in a hotel as a store keeper. It’s a little busy here today but not that much. So when I was schooling, to take my transport from school to home, I had to walk like 300 meters from the school. One day when I was waiting for my transport this girl walked by my side, she was looking down and smiling. she is like 4.7 feet tall, fair like a sown, brown eyes, curly hair, she smells like rose water. And then she went near the yellow line and she crossed the road with her friend and went under this big tree and she looked at me, she smiled. after five minutes her vehicle came n she left. That day I couldn’t take my mind off that cute little smile of hers, I was so wildly excited to see her again.

Next day as usual I went there to take my transportation. oh there she comes again, she crossed the road and went under that tree. She gave that pretty smile to me again, so then I thought, why am I still here standing I should go and talk to that beautiful lady. So I got a deep breath and I crossed the road, then I said, hey girl. She smiled again she didn’t say anything at all. she acted as if she wanted to talk to me but I’m a total stranger to her. So I went back to the other side of the road. My school bus came and I went home. Next day there she comes again. I remember her bag was bigger than her body. I couldn’t give up when I see that pretty little face. So I got back on the horse again and I went near the tree and again. I said, hey girl, and then she replied as if she was talking to the tree, she didn’t look at me. I was so happy and nervous I became speechless. I asked her name, she said, I’m shemi (that’s not her real name). then I asked her if I can have her phone number. she said she doesn’t have one and then she asked me if I’m on facebook n she told me her name. I found her on that social network and we chatted every day. after some time we got in to a relationship. We started meeting after school.

I have to say that she is a bright student. she is really good in studies, she is like the junior Shakespeare. She writes nice poems with deep meaning. Anyway her mum she doesn’t want her to have a boyfriend because she is afraid she will not do her studies well if she has one. Due to that reason her mom was behind her wherever she goes so we had no other way of meeting other than after school. one day she asked me to come to the library with her. I really needed to kiss her that day but there was no chance to kiss her in that library. I asked her if we can go somewhere we can stay alone where nobody will come. then she came with this crazy idea and I was stupid enough to agree with her. I took her to the men’s room. I gave my fist kiss to her in that men’s room. we got so close to each other. she hugged me so tight I didn’t want to let her go, but the time was running out so we went out before her mum came to pick her up. Days went by, we got more and more close to each other, every day we met after classes, we went to the mall, we went shopping together. It was like I had everything when she was around me.

Sometimes she made me mad and sad by being too honest with me. Whatever she does she tells me. We fight over silly things, I remember some days she would stay without eating her lunch n she says, I can’t eat this food it’s not good, or I’m lazy to eat, and then we fight till she go and eat. She was everything to me, she changed me, she made me a totally different person. my everything was filled with her love. My facebook wall was full of her love notes, my status, my cover photo, everything was about her. And her facebook was also the same as mine. Somehow her cousin sister got to know about us. She told shemi’s mom about this; her mom called me and she asked me to stop this right away but that didn’t change anything at all.

The school vacation started. she was all alone at home since her mum goes to work. I went to meet her like 3 times a week, even that was not enough for us. If it was possible I’d have stayed with her 24*7 without getting bored at all. we cooked together, we danced together, we watched movies together, those days are days that I cannot take back, the most wonderful days of mine and i'll not forget those days ever.

Her mum left the house for work around 7 o’clock in the morning, so I go there around 8.30 and I come back out at 5.30 before her mum comes back home. She sleeps on my chest, sometimes she comes on my lap, she plays some songs on her computer and she sang for me. sometimes she starts kissing me without stopping. She kisses me all over my face. I still remember how she kissed me when I’m at the door to leave the place. We couldn’t stay without talking or texting even one hour. she used to scold the tuition teacher for taking me away from her for only two hours. Even if I didn’t go to school those days I go there just to see her for 10 minutes. We were the happy couple. we planned our whole future together. We talked about marriage, we planned about our kids, we had so much hope on everything. I needed to have our wedding on the beach when the sun goes down. She needed light blue and white as the wedding theme. We planned the names for our kids also, I always needed twin babies. She chose the names for kids; if it is a boy she said she needed to name him Arron, if it’s a girl she needed to name her Shemi.

One day I was waiting till she called or texted me but I didn’t get any response from her. at around 6.30 I got a call from her mum. That time I knew something is not right. I didn’t answer the phone, I was scared, but then I got a message from her; bb answer the phone, she got to know everything. So I did answer the phone. then her mum started scolding me like never before. Even before her mum once scolded me on the phone because their phone bill was too high, she used to call me when she comes home after school till her mum comes home. That time when she scolded me it was not that bad. this time it was totally different. Her next-door grandma told her that I come and go when she is not around. She needed my home address. I know if I gave my home address that time she would have come to find me straight away. So I did not give my address. Even though I went there I never miss used her. So I was straight with her mum. I remember she told me that she brought two umbrellas with her just to hit me till it’s broken. For some reason, for my luck, she couldn’t find me that day. Since that day her mum was behind her wherever she goes but that couldn’t stop us either.

I really don’t know how I should end this story. I don’t want to write the rest of the story. I messed up, it’s not the right way to end a story. I wish all the stories have a happy ending like cartoons. What to do, life is hard my friend, we human make mistakes, sometimes those mistakes are unforgiveable. I broke her heart so I deserve this. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe she deserves someone better. I think she really does deserve someone better. Don’t ever lose someone that loves you this much like the girl in this story. What goes around comes around my friend. There are no time machines to go back in time. Live your life truly, love honestly.

The End


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