Congratulations !
You have been awarded points.
Thank you for !
- Story Listed as: Fiction For Teens
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Love / Romance / Dating
- Published: 01/18/2014
Andy part 2
Born 1993, F, from IL, United States.jpg)
* * *
“Thanks for yesterday.”
“What?” I asked.
“Thanks for.. Consoling me?” he smiled. As we walked down the sidewalk, we’d bump hips occasionally. The wind is blowing the hair out of Andy’s eyes and I can see how green they really are contrasting against his eye shadow. Yesterday was a awful day for him. I never thought that anyone at my school would do that to another person, but I guess I was wrong. What happened yesterday was the deepest connection I’ve ever had with anyone.I felt the experience eternally connected us.
“You’re welcome hun. I’ll always be here for you. I’d want someone to do the same for me.” There was a moments silence as we walked. He looked at the ground then pulled on my hand to stop me. Turning around I looked at him. He was rubbing his wrist where his deepest cut was.
“Hey. Andy. You ok... Look at me... Andy..?” I asked puzzled. He was still looking down. I heard a sniffle, or maybe a gasp. I wasn’t sure. Another moment passed and when he finally looked at me, staring into my eyes, he studied my face.
“Umm.. You know this scar... The one with the stitches.. I tried to commit suicide.” At a loss for words, I motioned for him to sit with me in the grass.
“Tell me about it babe,” I said rubbing his back.” For some reason he felt as if he couldn’t look at me, almost as if I’d be disappointed in him or judge him for what he was about to say. I slid closer to him permanently wrapping an arm around him and holding his hand.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” There was a long pause. It felt like an eternity. Cars were driving by, and children played behind us in the distance at the local park.
“One day after school, freshman year... there was this girl I liked. Well I thought I liked. I went up to her after class to say that I liked her hair. She was with her friends and I guess she didn’t want to be seen next to the emo kid. There was a guy there too but I was so focused on her that I didn’t notice him,” he sighed, “I can’t,” he said pushing me away.
“No, babe. Come here, please. Babe, let it out. Tell me. It’s good to talk about these things. You can’t keep holding it in.. It’s not healthy.” Once more I scooted closer to him and held him next to me. Holding his wrist in his hand, he looked at me and continued.
“Well... I told her I thought she was pretty and gave her a poem I wrote in class about her. She took it and read it out loud for her friends to hear. She laughed and then that guy I was telling you about that I didn’t see said.. ‘So this little bitch likes Jenna. Aww how sweet. Too bad she’s going out with me,’ and grabbed the paper from her, threw it at me, and spit in my face.” He stopped. I saw one tear fall from his face.
“Then he pushed me up against the lockers and said if I ever talk to her again he’d beat me up. I went home that day and looked for my grandmother’s pain killers. She has severe arthritis so she takes these meds everyday to get through the pain. She had a late shift at Wal-Mart that night so she wouldn’t be home and I thought ‘Why not tonight? No one cares about you.' Before she left I hugged her good bye and went to my room. I played Lost it all by bvb and just started crying. Thinking about what had happened earlier that day, how my parent’s are dead, and just.. how the world was crumbling around me, and everyone hated me.” He sniffled and grabbed my hand. Wiping his tears with the other. I looked down at his left wrist and glided my finger over his wound.
“So that night, I took eight of my grandmother's opioid and six naproxen to make sure I’d die. I waited about 10 mins and started to feel tired. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the steak knife and sliced my wrist making sure that not only did I brake the skin but that I opened it as best as I could before I fell. Looking up the kitchen lights they appeared to be fading and I was getting cold. I remember my jeans feeling wet and I was gone. Next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. My wrist was wrapped and my grandmother was sobbing next to me. She says that when she got home she had called for me and saw that I was on the floor bleeding and blue so she called 911.” he stopped and looked at me, “I’ve never told anyone this. You’re... the first person I’ve told.” Staring at me, he waited for my response. I had no words. What do you say after someone has just told you the most personal thing that’s ever happened to them. I felt like I could say I’m sorry for him, but that wasn’t going to make him feel better. I could have said that I’m here for him and love him etc. etc. but that sounds too generic.
“See. I knew I shouldn’t have told you. Great, now you’ll tell everyone!” He yelled. Standing, leaving my embrace, he started to walk away.
“No, Andy wait!” I ran after him. Jogging a bit, I soon grabbed his shoulders. “Wait! Andy. Just.. wait..” He stopped. He didn’t look at me. Just at his feet like he’s always done. I gathered my thoughts and wondered how to say this, if I say anything. I placed my hand on his chin and held his face up to look at me. Studying his green eyes, I looked at him, staring deeply. He looked away and tilted his head down again. Since I couldn’t speak I did the only thing I thought I could do. I kissed him.
Braking apart, I gazed into his eyes. “I’ll always be here for you Andrew. Thank you for telling me that...” Now I couldn’t look at him for some reason. Fearing rejection and vulnerability. Looking down at me he waited for what I had to say.
“If you ever feel that... If you ever feel no one...," why wouldn't these words just come out, "If you ever feel that no one else loves you... Just know... that... I love you.”
The new intimacy between us felt incredible. It was as if I could hear his heart beating with excitement and love. He placed his hands on my waist and bent slightly to kiss me again. Locking lips we stood there in the summer breeze in our own world. As if the world had stopped around us and nothing else mattered. I knew he needed me more than I could ask of him. He needed someone in his life to be there when he falls, be there when he’s hurt, console him, be there when he feels that he wants to end his life due to bullying at school, not fitting in or whatever else. He was mine.
I know that my wounds are sewn. I’ve dealt with my past. Because I love him, I will take on his burden and be his savior. Though I’m only human, I will remind him not to bleed. Remind him he is loved.
“I will be your savior Andy.”
Andy part 2(Jasmine R)
* * *
“Thanks for yesterday.”
“What?” I asked.
“Thanks for.. Consoling me?” he smiled. As we walked down the sidewalk, we’d bump hips occasionally. The wind is blowing the hair out of Andy’s eyes and I can see how green they really are contrasting against his eye shadow. Yesterday was a awful day for him. I never thought that anyone at my school would do that to another person, but I guess I was wrong. What happened yesterday was the deepest connection I’ve ever had with anyone.I felt the experience eternally connected us.
“You’re welcome hun. I’ll always be here for you. I’d want someone to do the same for me.” There was a moments silence as we walked. He looked at the ground then pulled on my hand to stop me. Turning around I looked at him. He was rubbing his wrist where his deepest cut was.
“Hey. Andy. You ok... Look at me... Andy..?” I asked puzzled. He was still looking down. I heard a sniffle, or maybe a gasp. I wasn’t sure. Another moment passed and when he finally looked at me, staring into my eyes, he studied my face.
“Umm.. You know this scar... The one with the stitches.. I tried to commit suicide.” At a loss for words, I motioned for him to sit with me in the grass.
“Tell me about it babe,” I said rubbing his back.” For some reason he felt as if he couldn’t look at me, almost as if I’d be disappointed in him or judge him for what he was about to say. I slid closer to him permanently wrapping an arm around him and holding his hand.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” There was a long pause. It felt like an eternity. Cars were driving by, and children played behind us in the distance at the local park.
“One day after school, freshman year... there was this girl I liked. Well I thought I liked. I went up to her after class to say that I liked her hair. She was with her friends and I guess she didn’t want to be seen next to the emo kid. There was a guy there too but I was so focused on her that I didn’t notice him,” he sighed, “I can’t,” he said pushing me away.
“No, babe. Come here, please. Babe, let it out. Tell me. It’s good to talk about these things. You can’t keep holding it in.. It’s not healthy.” Once more I scooted closer to him and held him next to me. Holding his wrist in his hand, he looked at me and continued.
“Well... I told her I thought she was pretty and gave her a poem I wrote in class about her. She took it and read it out loud for her friends to hear. She laughed and then that guy I was telling you about that I didn’t see said.. ‘So this little bitch likes Jenna. Aww how sweet. Too bad she’s going out with me,’ and grabbed the paper from her, threw it at me, and spit in my face.” He stopped. I saw one tear fall from his face.
“Then he pushed me up against the lockers and said if I ever talk to her again he’d beat me up. I went home that day and looked for my grandmother’s pain killers. She has severe arthritis so she takes these meds everyday to get through the pain. She had a late shift at Wal-Mart that night so she wouldn’t be home and I thought ‘Why not tonight? No one cares about you.' Before she left I hugged her good bye and went to my room. I played Lost it all by bvb and just started crying. Thinking about what had happened earlier that day, how my parent’s are dead, and just.. how the world was crumbling around me, and everyone hated me.” He sniffled and grabbed my hand. Wiping his tears with the other. I looked down at his left wrist and glided my finger over his wound.
“So that night, I took eight of my grandmother's opioid and six naproxen to make sure I’d die. I waited about 10 mins and started to feel tired. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the steak knife and sliced my wrist making sure that not only did I brake the skin but that I opened it as best as I could before I fell. Looking up the kitchen lights they appeared to be fading and I was getting cold. I remember my jeans feeling wet and I was gone. Next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. My wrist was wrapped and my grandmother was sobbing next to me. She says that when she got home she had called for me and saw that I was on the floor bleeding and blue so she called 911.” he stopped and looked at me, “I’ve never told anyone this. You’re... the first person I’ve told.” Staring at me, he waited for my response. I had no words. What do you say after someone has just told you the most personal thing that’s ever happened to them. I felt like I could say I’m sorry for him, but that wasn’t going to make him feel better. I could have said that I’m here for him and love him etc. etc. but that sounds too generic.
“See. I knew I shouldn’t have told you. Great, now you’ll tell everyone!” He yelled. Standing, leaving my embrace, he started to walk away.
“No, Andy wait!” I ran after him. Jogging a bit, I soon grabbed his shoulders. “Wait! Andy. Just.. wait..” He stopped. He didn’t look at me. Just at his feet like he’s always done. I gathered my thoughts and wondered how to say this, if I say anything. I placed my hand on his chin and held his face up to look at me. Studying his green eyes, I looked at him, staring deeply. He looked away and tilted his head down again. Since I couldn’t speak I did the only thing I thought I could do. I kissed him.
Braking apart, I gazed into his eyes. “I’ll always be here for you Andrew. Thank you for telling me that...” Now I couldn’t look at him for some reason. Fearing rejection and vulnerability. Looking down at me he waited for what I had to say.
“If you ever feel that... If you ever feel no one...," why wouldn't these words just come out, "If you ever feel that no one else loves you... Just know... that... I love you.”
The new intimacy between us felt incredible. It was as if I could hear his heart beating with excitement and love. He placed his hands on my waist and bent slightly to kiss me again. Locking lips we stood there in the summer breeze in our own world. As if the world had stopped around us and nothing else mattered. I knew he needed me more than I could ask of him. He needed someone in his life to be there when he falls, be there when he’s hurt, console him, be there when he feels that he wants to end his life due to bullying at school, not fitting in or whatever else. He was mine.
I know that my wounds are sewn. I’ve dealt with my past. Because I love him, I will take on his burden and be his savior. Though I’m only human, I will remind him not to bleed. Remind him he is loved.
“I will be your savior Andy.”
- Share this story on
- 6
COMMENTS (0)