RIHAL, THE SYRIAN GIRL WHO SURVIVED THE HELL(Hakeem Omer) CHAPTER ONE

REFUGEE CAMP
On a Friday afternoon, March 15th, in the year 2013, while I was sitting in our garden observing the beauty of the flowers that my mom had planted, which she always does a great job taking good care of, Our door bell rang. It was my cousin who came to see me. We sat down together talking about work and many other topics, like the war in Syria. He went silent for a moment, lit a cigarette, and took a deep breath, and then he said, “You know last week we went to a Syrian refugee camp to get some stuff that our company bought. While we were loading our stuff I noticed a lonely girl, barefoot with dirty clothes and dusty hair. Her beautiful angel eyes shining, eating a piece of bread, sitting on a side walk, watching some other children playing. I guess they didn’t allow her to play with them. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, and without feeling myself, tears were flying off my eyes, I felt very sorry for her. I couldn’t hold myself. I had to ask the guard about her. he said, “this girl entered the camp last month with another family, she is the only one who survived from her family, the rest of her family died while their house was bombed at night.” then I asked him, “why is she such a big mess, and who is taking care of her?” he said, “we asked several families to take care of her, some of them kept her for few days, and then kicked her out again, and some others refused, they said we can hardly take care of our own children, we are trying to take care of her as much as we can, but as you see we are in duty, and we cannot watch her all the time.”
“I felt even more sorry, I asked him if they will allow me to have her, I will raise her with my children,” that is very kind of you to do that,” he said, ”but that is not allowed for us to do." I came back to my friend and told him about the girl and how much I felt sorry for her. He said “we can call our boss, and tell him about her, I am sure he can do something." we called our boss and told him about the girl. without any hesitation he said “I will see what I can do about it.” with a few calls he made, they turned the girl over to us, after we signed some papers for them to know where she will be, and also to promise to give her back to them if someone shows up from her family asking for her.”
“We brought the girl with us to my friend’s house. his mom gave her a good bath and cleaned her up, then we took her shopping, and bought her everything she needed, then we took her back to his house to live with his family.
“The next day I went to work, first thing I did was asked him about her, and how she was doing. he said ‘man, we stayed up all night trying to comfort her, she kept crying all night, we had a hard time communicating with her. the problem was neither my mom or any of my sisters speaks Arabic and that is the only language she speaks, I had no choice but to bring her with me to work. I thought it would be better for her to stay with our guard family, they are from Syria, they can understand her better than us. As you see she is happier now, I already spoke with the boss, he said it’s ok to do that if that makes her happy, and he also said he will take care of all her expenses no matter how long she stays.’”

My cousin left but the story of that little girl stayed in my thoughts, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t even imagine one of my children in her situation.
A few days after that I called my cousin at work, and asked him how she was doing? He said “she is doing fine, she’s getting used to us, and she calls me uncle.” That was relieving news, but I was not satisfied with myself, I wanted to do something for her although the problem was that there wasn’t much I could do except to write her story, and tell the people of the world about her and millions of children in the world who are suffering from the corrupted system and injustices, and poor treatment that is forced upon them. Maybe the leaders of the world will do something to help them and stop shedding the blood of those innocent people. maybe they will act instead of sitting around tables exchanging jokes while thousands of innocent people die every day.

I asked my cousin about her name. He said her name is RIHAL, which mean traveler.


Chapter two
Arab spring
The head of this story goes back to the year 2010, December 17th, when a Tunisian fruit seller who was insulted by a female from the police force, and treated unjustly by the government, above all that the endless hardship of the life, poverty and poorness. being poor was not an easy thing for him to live with, under the huge responsibility that he couldn’t bear any longer which led him to end his life, by setting himself on fire to put an end to his humiliation and misery, and unjust treatment by his fellow human, thinking that his body will be the only fuel for that fire that he started, not knowing that fire will lead to a bigger fire, and spread very fast to burn and kill. he didn’t know the fire he started was like a harvesting machine that will harvest the life of millions of people, good, bad, guilty, innocent all the same. some try to put out that fire, and some others kept adding fuel to it. some died serving God and some others died serving the Devil, yet till now millions are suffering from it. only GOD knows how many more will suffer, and how many more lives will be wasted until this fire comes to the end.

The world called it Arab spring, but the truth is they should call it Arab hell that reached to Syria in the year 2011, crossing many Arab countries, leaving behind nothing but grief, and sorrow, and distraction that may take forever to restore, and it may never do.

The war started in Syria from one city to another and from a village to another village, just like a wildfire in a forest. Just like the spark that started the fire in the forest, it was the hatred that had been stored for years in the heart of the people under the oppression and unjust treatment that was the spark. Eventually, all that led to a war where those who were yesterday brothers, friends, neighbors, today they all become enemies killing each other with no mercy. The country that was full of life became a ghost town. Anywhere you go you only smell death, there is no sign of life, and anyone you see is fleeing or hiding somewhere, hoping to find a safe passage out of the wrath of hell fire and survive.

The war eventually reached to the city of Aleppo where Rihal was living in a normal neighborhood where she used to go to school and play with her friends and the girls from next door, and like any normal girl she had dreams she had hopes for her future life, to live in peace and enjoy the love and the care of all the people around her. but unfortunately the sound of the war drums became too close to them until it started disturbing her dreams.

She said, “every night at 8:00pm My Dad would be watching the news about the war on our TV, and many times we would ask him about the war and what will happen if the war reaches to our city? He used to say, there is no need to worry, everything will be fine and the war will be over soon.’ I guess he was trying to comfort us because the war kept getting closer and closer until we start hearing bombs. Some people abandoned their homes, and moved far away from the war, but we stayed in our house, not liking the idea of abandoning our house that we lived in for many years to go to somewhere we don’t know of, and also because of my older brother who was living in the capital. above all that there was too much risk leaving our house in the middle of a war in which it was impossible to define a friend from the enemy, who will save you or who will kill you, it was more like going through hell.

Last thing I remember before I went to my bed, my dad came to me and held me between his arms and kissed me. He used to do that every night; I loved his soft and gentle hand rubbing on my head and face. Every time he was doing that he was making me feel like the whole world was mine and I was in the most secure place in the world. then he said ‘don’t worry my little girl, everything will be just fine’. There is always another day, and all this will be history, stories to tell in those cold long nights in the winter. he turned the light off and left. that was the last time I saw my dad. I miss my dad. I wish if I was with him now. I will give up my life and everything else just to be with him anywhere he is now. I closed my eyes and went into a deep sleep hoping that I will wake up in a better world, more peaceful. I didn’t know I was going to wake up in the middle of the night on the sound of a bomb, shaking the world under me and throwing me off my bed. I opened my eyes not knowing what was going on, was it a dream or real? It was pitch black, I couldn’t see anything except flashing lights through the window of my room coming and going with the sound of bombs. I crawled on my hands, trying to reach to the door or the switch to turn the light on, but every direction I tried I would hit something, like the walls of my room shrank in and my room became smaller. I felt like I was in a box with no way out. I sat there crying and screaming for my dad, knowing for sure that he would come to me, he always did, every time I cried at night no matter when or how late it would be, he will be the first one to come to me. he used to say, we have a heart connection, I feel you even if I am in a deep sleep or far away. but this time there was no answer, daddy didn’t come. I cried and cried, I begged and screamed for help, my tears dried out and my voice went silent. But Daddy didn’t come. for the first time he broke his promise. he promised me he will always come to me as long as he exists in this world, only death will prevent him from coming, and that’s what frightened me even more. It had to be something bad happened to him. I wanted to go to him, but there was no way out. I sat there helpless, tired, exhausted. I lay down and closed my eyes hoping that all of this is just a nightmare and it will go away in the morning.

The next day came; I woke up in the middle of the day without even knowing what time it was. Broken glasses were everywhere, the walls were collapsed in, and the door was blocked. There was no sign of life. not in our house or even outside. I was trapped in a small area, partial of my room, nowhere to go. I sat there crying for my dad, mom, or anyone, but no one came, as if the world around me vanished and I am the only one left in a tiny small corner of my room, lonely for the first time, scared, tired from screaming and crying. I lay down, closed my eyes, hoping that all this is just a bad dream and when I wake up it will disappear, even though I was certain it’s real and I was not dreaming. I just had a hard time to believe it’s true, and I will not see any of my family again.

Another night came. I am still trapped in the corner of my room helpless waiting for some miracle to happen, maybe someone will come to save me or maybe the angels of death will come to take my soul and put an end to all this pain. at night the temperature went down, it's cold and I am shivering like a tree in the water. I am hungry, thirsty, scared, above all lonely. I am about to give up I can’t fight it any longer, I just want to sleep, I wrapped myself with everything I found in my room and fell asleep, maybe because sleeping was the only way out of reality, away from all horrible things in our life.

Next thing I heard a voice calling my name, somehow that voice was not strange to me, it kept growing louder and louder. Someone was by the window trying to wake me up. I hardly opened my eyes. It was the humpy back Ali, the kid from next door. his name was Ali, but all the kids in the school and the kids from our neighborhood used to call him the humpy back Ali, because he had a hump on the back of his shoulder causing him great sadness, mostly because that made him the joke of many kids and that pushed him to be lonely most of the time, and for that very reason his father took him out of the school and sent him to another city to work in a mechanic shop. he was a very kind boy but the other kids were not leaving him alone, they kept making fun of him. he was in my class, he didn’t have that many friends, lonely most of the time in the school and in the neighborhood. it’s sad and painful to be lonely in this world, and it is a blessing to be healthy and surrounded by those who love and care for you. too bad many of us do not realize that until it is lost or it is taken away from us. now I understand why he left the school and he was miserable most of the time. I wish if knew that at the time I would have been nice to him and treated him like a normal kid.

I cannot describe my happiness in that moment, when I saw him by the window of my room, I was so happy I didn’t know what to say I just cried, I felt like I saw a member of my family I couldn’t even think of him as humpy back Ali any more, at that moment he was the spark that lit the kindle of the hope in my heart. He handed me few pieces of candy trying to calm me down to understand what had happen, then he asked about my family where they are? How they didn’t come to rescue me? I told him I don’t know what happen , all I know I woke up in the middle of the night on sound of bomb and got trapped in this corner of my room as you see I can’t get out , the door is blocked and I can’t get through the window because of these bars .he said stay calm don’t make any sound and if you hear or see any soldiers or anyone carry weapons hide do not trust anyone, my boss said in many places where the army and the opposition are fighting people get killed very easy ,they kill anyone they see then they accuse each other, they don’t make any exception old young men women children all are the same with them , so be careful, I will go and seek some help, I doubt I can find any help in this ghost neighborhood, and we have to leave as soon as possible it want be long either the army or the oppositions fighters will be here, when they get here we are dead for sure, right now we cannot trust either side they we kill us with no mercy I saw on TV how they killed many children in the other cities and village, I will try to help you so stay calm and hide , I will be back soon .
Ali left; it was late afternoon I was afraid he may not come back but for some reason I felt I should trust him and he will be back , I don’t know why ,maybe because he was the only hope I had to be saved ,however there wasn’t much to expect from him after all he was just brave ten years old kid little brave kid what can he do, I spend that afternoon watching the window some time hiding under my bed, the sun set and the darkness covered everywhere the world went silent, no sound of anything , I remember few days ago at this time we were still playing in front of our house the whole neighborhood was full of life you could hear all kind of voice, babies crying ,men and women shouting ,laughing , if any of the voices was missing they would know either they are not home or he or she is sick ,that was their way of life but now all voice are missing they all are gown, it Is more silent than graveyard, the night full came its getting cold the temperature went down and I am all alone again in my small corner yet my only hope did not return and I don’t think he will return I wonder where he will go in this cold dark night , maybe found a safe place to hide waiting for the day light , after all there is nothing he can do in this dark , I think he can take care of himself he is brave little kid.
I rapped myself with a blanket and set by the window waiting for Ali hoping he will return back with some help, I heard some voices, didn’t know who they are? I was about to scream and ask them for help but then I remembered what Ali said about not trusting anyone, I just went hiding under my bed, when they came closer to our house one of them came to my window he had a flash light in his hand and one of them was giving them orders, anyone you see shoot them, I was about to pass out, he was about to see me, the only thing stopped him from coming in were the steel bars, he couldn’t come in finely he gave up and left. not long after that Ali came back with hand saw in his hand he said this is the only help I found, I will try to cut one of these bars then you can come out, we need to hurry before the solders comes back, I will cover myself with a blanket and you hold this flash light while I cut the steel bar, it didn’t take him long to cut it, the bar was old rusty and with his little experience from his work at the mechanic shop, made it easy to cut, I squeezed myself through the bar and got out finely I am free.




Chapter three
Running through Hell
Slowly we walk away from our home, leaving behind years of memories, and not realizing that I was leaving behind the most loved ones in my life, buried under the wreckage of our destroyed house, without even saying good bye to them, with every step I took the distance grew bigger and bigger, leaving the world I used to know to a new world I don’t know of. I don’t even know where I am going, or what I’ll do in this mean world all alone and helpless. For some reason I had the feeling my Dad and everyone else were somewhere close and even very close, but why didn’t I see them? I don’t know! I was so eager to go and check on them but Ali didn’t allow me, he said: there is no one around, I already looked everywhere, beside we are running out of time, the army will be here very soon. we have to leave as fast as we can, staying here is suicide. besides both of our are families are gone with the rest of the families. I told him, I don’t believe that, my Dad will never leave me behind. He said, your Dad didn’t have much choice, like the rest of the people in our neighborhood and many other places. I looked around, there is no one in the whole neighborhood, they must have ran for their life to somewhere safe. He said: you can see yourself there is no sign of life here, it’s more like ghost town. look at these destroyed houses, they were under heavy bombing that night and everyone was in a rush trying to save their family and themselves.

Then I said, I will wait here, my Dad he will come back for me, he will not abandon me no matter what happens.

You are not listening to me, by daylight the army will be here, if we stay we are dead, said Ali.

You can leave; I will go back to my room and hide in there until my Dad comes back for me.

I will not leave you here by yourself, however you have to know by staying here you are risking your life and your Dads life too, but if we leave now we may meet him on the way. I am like you, I also want to find my family, said Ali.

Hearing Ali saying that I may see my family again on the way gave me some hope and strength to leave with him, because that was all I wished, to be with my family anywhere in the world, just to be with them, anything else was less important; I just hoped I would meet them soon down the road. From that moment I started walking with Ali to begin our journey searching for our families without even turning back.

We started our journey walking, running, and many other times hiding. it was not easy for two little kids to find their way in the middle of a war zone and in the moonlight. it was a good thing that Ali knew the way through the city. by sunrise we were able to manage to get out of the city and hide in a field not far from the city, next to the road, to rest and watch the road until it was safe to continue our journey.

Most of the day the road was busy. the army vehicles were moving. we hid in a field until late afternoon when the road finally was cleared. we began walking side by side on the road, hoping we get lucky to see our families or someone we knew or even some civilians who we may be able to travel with. Unfortunately, we didn’t see anyone. two kids on foot, how far can we get? at least we didn’t give up, we continued our journey through hell. I couldn’t find a better description for what we went through, hunger, pain, fear. many times I thought, it's hopeless, running away we were like running from death to our certain death, only the hope of finding our families was keeping us from giving up. We walk the rest of the day and the night without food, only a few pieces of bread, and a little rest every once in a while. My feet were cut and bleeding for tripping so many times, too much pain, I wanted to stop, but Ali said we have to keep going on, the night is our cover, it is easier to hide during the night, we can rest in the day time, it’s safer. the night became very long and the road even longer. I wondered so many times what crime we did to deserve this punishment, why we have to pay for someone else's mischief on earth.

We walk most of the night even though walking in the dark was not much less risk then the day time, in fact it was very risky because we could barely see a few feet in front of us. it was not bad when we were walking on the paved road, but when we were off the road it was full of surprises, holes, rocks up and down, you never know what will come in front of you. anyway, after a long way walking we reached to near a village off the road not far. we decided to go seek some help. not that we had much choice, we were exhausted, we couldn’t go much farther without eating and resting, so we turned toward the village. when we reached close to it, Ali said, you stay here and hide, I will go and check it first. if I hear anything strange, or if don’t come back, you run and save yourself, don’t wait for me. if it’s safe, I will come back to take you, however, if something is not right, it’s too quiet, I doubt we can find any help here. anyway, it is safer for you stay here. I said, no I will go with you, I am scared to stay by myself, and I am not going to leave or let you die by yourself, you saved my life, let’s go together and whatever we see we will face it together. with our feet shaking, fearing from what we may see and face inside the village, and with great caution, we went through the village, house to house and door to door. they were all empty. they had been abandoned for days and probably weeks. we checked almost the entire village until we saw a tiny light in a house at the very end side of the village. without any hesitation we walked toward that house, hoping we will find some help there. we sneaked quietly to the window to see who is living in the house. they were just an old man and his wife who were left behind, and by some heavenly miracle they managed to stay a life by themselves so far, they were no danger to us. We went ahead and knocked on the door. at first they were afraid to open the door but when we spoke with them and asked them for some help they opened the door knowing we were just little kids who needed help we were no threat to them. the old woman, who was named Om Hassan, opened the door for us. she was shocked to see us, and so happy at the same time, they were happy to see us as much as we were happy to see them, I guess they had been alone for awhile, and they missed their family like us. after she let us in and gave us some food to eat, Om Hassan kindly cleaned the wounds of my feet then she asked us wondering, what are you two doing here in this time of the night, dark, and this madness war going on? don’t you know it’s very dangerous? We told her the whole story and how we are searching for our families, she said where do you think you will find your families? Ali said, I heard all the people who ran away they either went to Iraq or to Turkey, and that’s where we will go too. She said, but that is a long way for you two children to go, besides how far will you two reach like this and on foot? Why don’t you two stay with us, maybe my son will return for us, then you can go with him. we told her we can’t stay that long, and then we may never see our family again.

We didn’t get much sleep that night, Om Hassan was telling us about what happened in the village. She said three weeks ago the army came here looking for some young men from the village, accusing them of allying with oppositions army. they captured a few of them without even giving them the chance to defend themselves they were executed in front of their wives and children a few steps from their door, making an example of them, a desperate way to plant fear in the heart of rest of the village. but it didn’t work, in fact, what they did is increase the hatred in their hearts and gave another excuse to join the oppositions army. so they all start leaving, every night a group of them was leaving till the last one of them, including my son and his family, knowing for sure soon the army will return and GOD only knows how many more they will kill. as you see, me and my old man are the only ones left. my son said he will come back to us but I doubt he will come. even if he comes we will not leave, this is our home, we have lived all our life here. every inch of this house has memory, our village, our field, no... We cannot leave, if we do we will die before we even get to the main road. we live here, we will die here, this of our home.

Next day, Om Hassan prepared the donkey with some food and water. she told us to keep going north and to stay away from the main road until we reach the next village, but before we enter the village watch it for some time to make sure it’s safe before we enter. When you reach the next village, if they have not run away like our people, ask for Abu Salih, he is the chief of the village. tell him Abu Hassan sent you, he will understand, and he knows us. he will take good care of you as long as you stay there, and should be able to find you a safe passage to get you to where you want to go. I hope you will find your family. if by any chance you meet my son say hello to him and tell him not to worry about us and not to feel sad about us, tell him we are fine, we are home, dead or alive we are home, happy and safe, no one can take our life from us, because we have already lived our life and we will be moving to our new home where there is no grief, no sorrow, only justice and happiness forever. hopefully we will meet again there. tell him there no need for him to come back for us. now you two children go with mercy of God and his protection all the time.

We asked Om Hassan what we should do with the donkey when we reach that village. She said, turn him loose, he will find his way back home, he always does. we left the village after we said good bye to Om Hassan and her husband and thanked them very much for their kindness.
I wonder what will happen to them, how they will survive by themselves. I hope and pray to God to give them the peace that they always wished and looked for where ever they are and wherever they go.

Heading east we continue our journey like a blind person walking without knowing what he is facing, just hoping that the road is smooth and clear for him. we were not much different than him except we knew we were heading east without guidance, just counting on our little knowledge, and the donkey we were riding on. so far he made our journey easier and it was fun, for the first time I was riding a donkey. Ironic how even in the very sad moments, and dark nights in the middle of nowhere, there are moments of happiness, a tiny spark in our heart that helps us to forget our pain and sadness in this mean world.

It’s around midnight, it's dark, Ali, who was quiet most the time, said we should stop and rest for the rest of the night and we could continue in the day time. I think it is safe because we are far from the cities and the village where all the fights are going on. we will be safe as long as we stay off the road and far from the city. he made a fire to keep the dogs and wild animals away, and to keep us warm in a cold night. the heat of the fire warmed us and helped us fall asleep very fast.

The next day in the morning I woke up, the sun light was hitting my face. for the first time after so many nights I slept deeply and restfully, but it looked like it would be a long hot day to walk. the good thing is, we had our ride, the good donkey, and we were lucky it didn’t run away. Ali had his rope tied to his arm. that was a smart thing he did. sometimes I thought his knowledge was much bigger than his body. I even asked him, where did you learn all these things? he said, many of these things I learned from my grandfather, I used to stay with him in the summertime in the village. me and him used to go hunting together and stay out at night. he was always telling me, learn anything you can learn while you can in your life, because you will never know when or where you will need it. not only school is where you learn, but the world all around is school and everyone could be a teacher to you. sometimes we learn things in the easy way and many times we learn it in the hard way, and its all knowledge that we benefit from. not that he meant the war, but more likely he was meaning that one of us should count and depend on himself in life. He used to say, son learn everything you can learn, it will help in the future, and he was right, as you see what he taught me came very handy now days.

We continue heading east face to face with the sun light that burned and sucked all our energy, a hot and long day. good thing we had the donkey to carry us otherwise we wouldn’t have made it far. but at least we see ahead of us it was only the heat that was disturbing us. we tried our best to stay away from the road and residential areas. we didn’t know what to expect, our hope was to reach to Abu Salih's village, because we knew we would not make it much farther without getting some help. maybe if we stayed on the road we would have found more help, but it was very risky. however it was risky either way.

It has been a long day, our food and water was about to run out. even the poor donkey was too tired to walk anymore, so we had to stop and rest and spend another night in the middle of nowhere. Ali was not much of talker, quiet most of the time. whenever I asked him a question he would answer with a few words and go quiet again. I told him, whether we make it or not, I want you to know that I am so grateful to you for all your help and I am sorry for being mean to you when we were in the school. we shouldn’t have treated you meanfully, that was very bad. I wish I could go back in time so I could tell all the kids in the school and our neighborhood that I am proud to be your friend and have you as my friend. after that he start talking and telling jokes. I never realized there is such a wonderful person hiding behind that silence. I can’t believe me and him were born in the same neighborhood, the same year, we went to the same school, and we were not friends. none of us realized the good in him. we didn’t even give him the chance to express himself to us. we were blind. all we noticed was the hump on his back. we should have realized that it could be any of us be in his place, how we would feel then. None of us should judge any one by his outside appearance, and we should make wise our words before they come and hurt someone.

That night he asked me a question, he said, what are you hiding in your pocket? I said, nothing, it’s my Dads picture that I always kept under my pillow, I took it when I got out of my room, I cannot live in a world that my Dad does not exist in. he didn’t say anything, just turned his head the other way and lay down, no comment. for some reason I felt he wanted to say something or he was hiding something from me.

Another day walking in the hot sunlight without knowing if we were close to that village or not, we just kept walking. all of a sudden Ali stopped and took a deep breath, then he started jumping, screaming, “fresh air! Fresh air!" I said, “Fresh air, so what?” He said, “That means there is water somewhere close.” he was right. In another short distance we reached a lake. We jumped in the water, swam and had some fun, but the fun did not last long when we came to the realty, there was a problem facing us. How are we going to cross the lake? if we go to the right not far there is a bridge, but the bridge is controlled by the army and for sure they will ask us where are you coming from and where are you going to, no way they will believe us, we would be in big trouble. we no choice but to swim across the lake, but we knew it would not be easy, especially when Ali said he can’t swim. not like me, I knew swimming because my dad taught me. but then Ali said the donkey could swim, and we could hold on to him and he could take us across to the other side. we walked by the lake side to find a good narrow spot to cross it. finally we found a spot that we thought we would be able to cross. we decided to go for it, so we pushed the donkey into the water and we held on to him while he was swimming. the donkey did good for more than half way across, but then he saw something that scared him, and caused him to return back. we had no choice but to let it go. I start swimming but Ali was hardly keeping his head above the water. I knew he will not make it so I had to go and help him, there wasn’t much left to cross since the donkey did most of the job until he freaked out and returned back to the other side. we didn’t know what scared him until we got out of the water and looked around. Ali said, ”I smell something dead. a few yards above where we crossed the lake we found a dead body stuck in some bushes on the side of the lake. I was dead scared, I just screamed and ran as hard as I could, didn’t even look back. Ali ran after me. we stopped after we were far from the lake to catch our breath. I asked Ali, wondering who that person was. Ali said, ”I don’t know, but for sure he is the son of a father and mother and a father of child like me and who are all eagerly waiting to see him returning home. but unfortunately he ended up dead and thrown in the water to end up to be the food for fish. they took his right to return home dead or alive, or even to be given a proper burial. now I know why the donkey freaked out, even the donkey is running away from the horrible act of the wicked human, so decided to go back home to be with those he knows to the end.

After we took our breath and rest, we continued our journey. the village should be nearby because wherever the water is there will be people living close, and we guessed right because not far from the lake we met this shepherd whose name was Hammed. Hammed was surprised to see us in that late afternoon. he asked us, what are you two doing here in this late time? Ali said, do you have something to eat, we are starving? We will tell you our story while we are eating. Hammed brought some milk and some bread, then we all sat around the fire that he made and we told him the whole story. he sat there shaking his head, then he said what happened to this country. brothers are killing each other and little kids like you are paying the price. I will cheer you up kids, you have reached the village of Abu SALIHI, I work for him. you two rest for tonight and sleep in peace, and tomorrow SALIH, the son of Abu SALIH, will come to take the milk and bring some food. you can go with him to the village, it is safe, nothing has happened there, not yet. I am sure Abu SALIH will take good care of you. We spend that night with the shepherd. I had a hard time sleeping that night, the picture of that dead person in the water stayed in my thoughts. every time I closed my eyes I saw him. but then I took out my Dads picture and held him between my arm and closed my eye and imagined him holding me between his arms like he used to do whenever I couldn’t sleep. I hoped we would be together again soon.

Around noon time next day the son of Abu SALIH brought food supply for HAMED, and also he brought with him a couple of women from his family to milk the sheep. they were not less surprised than HAMED when they saw us with HAMED, but when he told them our story they welcomed us. SALIH said, ”after we finish our work we will leave." within a few hours they finished milking the sheep. we helped them milking the sheep, it was fun doing it. I guess living in the village is not less fun than the life in the city, when all this war is over I will ask my Dad to bring us to the village in the summer vacation.

After we thanked HAMED for his kindness and his help we left, heading to Abu SALIH's village, straight to his house. they welcomed us in their house, but again, like everyone else, they were suspicious about us, but when we told Abu SALIH about Abu HASSAN and his wife and what happened in their village, he said you two are very brave to travel by yourselves in these dangerous circumstances that the country is going through now days. after he sat us next to him he asked us how we managed to survive?
Ali told him the whole story while we were eating. then Abu salih asked, how do you know where your family went to? Ali said, ”we heard all the people who ran away either went to Iraq or to Turkey." He said, "But I heard some of them went to some other country, how you will know?" Ali replied, "We don’t know, all we can do is go there and ask about them. we know something for sure, however, that it is the only to find out where they are."

Abu Salih was an old man but he was very wise and generous and kind. he offered us to stay with his family and live with them until this whole mess is over, but then he said you have free choice, if you wish to go I will not hold or stop you, in fact I will help as much as I can. we told him we wish to leave as soon as possible before they get too far that it will be impossible to find them. he said, ”if that is your wish let me see who can take you safely. there is a truck driver who travels that way all the time. he should be able to take you there safely and probably knows from where they go to Iraq or Turkey. Abu Salih went out looking, it didn’t take him long before he came back smiling. he said, ”good news, kids, I made a deal with him, you will be leaving tomorrow early in the morning, he will take you all the way to Qameshly, from there you should be able to cross the border to Iraq, or you can travel to Turkey. he will help you as much as he can, I gave him money for that. I hope that you will find your families soon.

Abu Salih gave us some money for the road and gave Ali a knife. he said, son, I know you are brave kid, this is for your protection, if you have to use it, don’t hesitate, because in days like these days, in the absence of the law and control, bad people come out of their nest to walk around looking for their prey, those who can’t defend themselves, rob them and kill them most of the time. so if you have to use it don’t fear anything, and if you choose to come back to my house my door will always be open for both of you. I give you my word I will raise you like my own children. may God keep you safe and help you to find your families soon.

With those nice and gentle words we left early in the morning, riding the truck with Ayash, who was kind of a crazy man, acting happy like he doesn’t care about anything, or somehow, sometime down the road in his life he lost the interest in life. though he was singing most of the way, there were tears flying off his eyes, even though he was trying his best to hide his tears, there were a few that slipped off and showed up. when there is too much pain and sadness in our heart, no way we can keep it from coming up. I asked him about his family, trying to keep him busy so he will not fall asleep. he said, ”five years ago I had a wife and son. they were everything I had, but I lost them, they died because I killed them. I had a bad habit of drinking, one night we were coming back from the city and I was drunk. my wife asked me not to drive but I didn’t listen to her, I told her I was fine, but I lost the control of my car for speeding up, the car fell over and they both died. I was injured very badly. I spent one month in the hospital to recover. I am the one who should be dead, not them, but they paid the price for my mischief. you see how Ironic the life is, I learned my lesson but I learned it in the hard way and it cost the most precious thing in my life. without them my life has no meaning, I am just living my days till the end comes so I can rejoin them. hopefully God will forgive me and allow me to rejoin them in paradise. now it’s your turn to tell me your story. we told him what we had been through, by that we kept him from sleeping until somewhere down the road when he slowed down. we asked him what is wrong, why are you slowing down? he said, ”listen to me kid, there is a check point in front of us. they are neither army nor the opposition, I think they are just thieves. if we stop they will kill us, and it’s too late to turn back so the best chance we have is to speed up. if something happens to me, open the door and run fast, don’t wait for me, save yourself.

The old man sped up and didn’t stop for them. they started shooting at us from both sides, but he didn’t stop and they didn’t come after us. we were safe. while we were dead scared, the old driver was shouting loud, laughing like he was in a party. we told him, we were so close to getting killed and you are laughing, aren’t you scared like us? He said, when death is your wish in life, there is nothing left to worry about. his wish was granted this time. one bullet crossed the door and hit him in his belly from the left side. the bullet stayed inside, causing him great pain, besides that he was bleeding. we asked him to stop and do something about the wound, but he said, no, there is no time to waste. I will take you as far as I can so you will be safe, however there is not much left, the closer you get the safer it will be and you will have a better chance to reach the city. at his final breath, Ayash, the old driver who sacrificed his life to save us, kept his promise. he pulled over and stopped,” he said “this is the end. I can’t drive no farther, my time is up. I can go home now. finally the heaven granted me my life time wish, I can see my new home, blooming trees everywhere, light, fresh air, many people I used to know, my son and my wife are waving and waiting for me to rejoin them, finally. we will rejoin in a peace that has no end, no more pain, no more grief, only peace. thank you, children, for helping me, because of you this happened. do not feel sad for me, because today I will die a happy man now. for many years I shed nothing but tears, for many years my heart didn’t taste any happiness, for many years I had nothing to live for, my life meant nothing, not to me or to anyone else, but now God had his mercy upon me and granted me a good reason to die for, at least my death will mean something. It is a good day to die and a good cause to die for, earn this, don’t give up, find a good life for yourself, today you have helped more than I did. here, take this money with you, there will be no need for money where I am going to, you will need it where you are going. when you reach the city always check the bus station, that’s where you will find those family who are coming there to cross the border. you can go with them and maybe you will know something about your families. now let me go in Peace, I can see them, they are waving to me. with those words he took his last deep breath, and he died. poor man, after many years suffering and going through endless sadness finally a real smile appeared on his face. hopefully, after all, he found his happiness again.

We left the good man in his truck alone. well, no, he was not alone any more, he found what he was looking for, he found his loved ones again. he paid the price for his mischief with years of tears and grief and his search came to the end. I wonder when our search will come to the end, when we will find our loved ones? well eventually, one way or another, somewhere down the road we will meet again.

We had to get far from the truck because if someone sees us they will ask us many questions about that and they may not let us go. the city was about two and a half hours walking away from where we stopped, and it was still dark so nobody noticed us until we were far from it. finally, we reached the city by the daylight. Qamehly is a small city, close to the border with both Iraq and Turkey. the government made a deal with PKK, a Kurdish party, to rule that region where the majority of the people who live in that region are Kurdish. they have been struggling for their rights for many years. there was no fighting going on, actually they made a deal with both sides, the government and the opposition, that is why they were living in some kind of peace that made people from many cities to come there running for their life, running from certain death to slow death, they run from the war to come and struggle with how to feed their families, then they start running again to cross the border to the other country to live in a refugee camp, standing in the food line to be served. what a shame on those who are fighting each other to keep the chair under one person who is not worth enough to even shine the shoes on the leg of a little child. it's a shame on them, humiliating their own people, destroying their country, killing the lives that God forbade to kill, and planting the seeds of hatred and feeding them with the blood of their brothers, to grow and spread all over the country.

We entered the city. no one noticed us, after all, we are just two normal kids, why would anyone ask? we didn’t know where to go. Ali said, “let’s go shopping first to buy some new clothes and shoes for you, then we go eat. after we were through from shopping and eating we went to the bus station, believing we would find a line of people gathered to cross the border. it was normal, people coming and going, we had no clue where they were going or where they were coming from. we asked a few people and some drivers if they knew where people cross the border. no one told us anything, they all said, we don’t know. we sat by the road watching. suddenly we saw Ayash's truck loaded with several men in the back headed to the mosque. we went after it to see what they will do with it. they lay him down on the floor, waiting for the Imam to come to prepare him for burying. he still had his smile. I heard one man was saying, he is dead what he is smiling about? Another one said, ”you know why he is smiling, He found the Peace that we all need in these days." I knew then he is fine, there is no need to worry about him, as he said to us, it’s us who we need to worry about. we are back sitting by the road. it is late afternoon. soon it will be dark. we have nowhere to go. how are we going to manage this long night? it is very dangerous to stay outside. Ali said, let's go hide in the mosque, no one will come there.

We spent a couple nights in the mosque until the keeper found out about it. he said no one is allowed to sleep here because if we do it will be full of the homeless people, and as you people are coming from everywhere. we begged him to let us stay a few more nights till we could find somewhere else. he allowed us to stay a couple more nights after we told our story and what we are intending to do. then he said, you are looking in the wrong place, you need to check the ”chaykhana” where people go to rest and drink tea, that's where you will find them, or at least you will find those who guide them through the border.

In the next day we went to the market searching for that place. it was easy to find. Ali went inside and asked the owner of the shop. he said, there are several doing that kind of work. I don’t see any of them now but if you stick around they will show up, they meet their customers here. Ali came back and said we are in the right place, but we have to wait. let’s go check the market, maybe we will get lucky to meet someone we know. going around and around through the market and coming back to the teashop, that was what we did for the last couple days until finally one of them guys showed up. Ali went after the owner of the shop who showed him to Ali. he told Ali, I will take you but you will have to pay money for that, do you have the money? Ali told him no. he said, you have the money you come back. Ali came back, he said, he will take us but we have to pay him money, but we don’t have enough money to pay him. don’t worry we will find a way.

Later on we were back to the market. I saw our neighbor, Om layla, her daughter was my friend. I ran to her and stopped her. at first she didn’t know me, but then after I told her who I am she remembered me, she asked about my mother and the rest of my family. I told her, I don’t know. she looked at me then she asked, how did you get here and what are you doing here by yourself? I told her I am looking for my family. she said, well, I really don’t know anything about them. as you know, we abandoned our house long before your family did, so who are you with, how did you get here by yourself? I told her all about Ali and how he helped me. she didn’t know Ali, but she knew his mother. Ali asked her for a word in private. they stepped away from me so I couldn’t hear them. I didn’t know then what he said to her. when they were done she asked me to go with her. I said, but what about Ali, I can’t leave him after all what he did for me. Ali said, listen to me, this is the only way. we only have money for one of us to go and its safer for you to go with them, as we have nowhere to stay and soon or later we will run out of money. what we are we going to do then? above all, since you are girl it is better for you to be with a family. and don’t forget when you leave with them soon you will be with your Dad and the rest of your family. don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself. I am used to being alone. I will look for work and make money to come there to find my family. now take this money and go with her, I will see you tomorrow before you leave. Ali left and disappeared in the crowd. for the second time I felt very lonely when he left. I felt like I lost my family for the second time. the whole night I was thinking about him, what might what happen to him. that night was one of those long nights when you wish the time to run fast so the day will come to see him again.

The next day Om Layla and her family were ready to leave. they prepared all their luggage waiting for the vehicle to carry them close to the border, and I am watching the door waiting for Ali to show up. he was late but I was sure he would come. in the last minutes he came running, he was late but he came. he said, “I am sorry, but I met a man who knew my father. he said he saw him a few days ago. he said that my family went to Turkey. that means I have to head that way. I will go with him, no need for money. I don’t know if we will meet again or not, but I promise you I will look for you and by the will of God and his help I will find you again, as I found you in the first time, no matter where you will be and how long it takes I will search for you. his words gave me some comfort and made me sad in the same time. saying good bye to him was the hardest thing I faced for the past days. I had to hug him strongly before we left. In his parting words he said, I am sorry, I should be with you in the coming days, but as you see things are beyond us sometimes, be strong, never give up, and remember after all we will meet in this life or in the other life where there is no more pain, no more sadness and grief. take care of yourself. then he went to Om Layla and handed her a piece of paper, then he left. I didn’t know then what that paper was for.

We left the city heading to the border. Ali is gone now. without him around helping me I feel helpless, my only comfort now the hope and the idea that as soon as I cross the border I will meet my Dad and the rest of my family. I miss them so bad. I can’t wait to see my Dad. I will give him a big hug and make him promise me he will never leave me again. I will tell him, from now on anywhere you go you will have to take me with you. I kept looking to his picture and kissing it and hugging it, even though sometimes I was thinking, what if he is not there? No, he has to be there, if he is not I will keep searching for him even if I have to search the whole world. I am glad I have his picture with me. O God I was so eager to cross the border so I kept asking, when we will go? How far is it? And they were keeping telling me to be quiet, it’s not easy, so when we are crossing stay in line and stay close because there are land mines on the side walk so be very careful, each one of you should hold on to the one in front of you, do as I say we should all cross safely.

That night we had to walk about four kilometers, about half a kilometer through landmine field, one wrong step will cost the life of a bunch of us because we were walking as a group and very close to each other. we all were very tired, not to mention there were old men, women, babies among us, crying, but it was not possible to stop because that area stays unwatched for a short time. besides it is too dangerous because of the landmines. they kept saying hustle, hustle, until we get to the safety zone far from the border, you will get enough rest when we reach to our meeting point, the village, where we have prepared vehicles to transport you to the refugee camp.

After a long hard scary night we reached to the village, spending the night there. The next day they load us in the back of trucks heading to the refugee camp. they told us, when they stop you at the chick point and ask you, just tell them you are from Syria and crossed the border by yourself, do not say anything about us. the camp was not too far from the border, about three hours driving. we were stopped at the check point. they didn’t say anything except they would send one guard with us to make sure we go to the camp, just normal routine, because they have received so many people from Syria they are used to it. at the camp, before we enter, they investigated and asked many questions, mostly for security, where we came from, why we came? Then they registered all the information about us. after that they showed us our tent. they registered my name with Om Laylas family. all the time I am quiet, wandering my eyes around looking for my Dad, why I don’t see him, where is my Dad, I want my daddy. I kept screaming for my daddy, daddy, on and on. she tried to calm me down by making up some stories, but it was hopeless. I knew that is the end of my search. she tried to hide the truth maybe leave some hope in my heart, but I didn’t leave much choice, after all she became tired of me. she handed me the piece of paper that Ali handed to her. she said, I am sorry, I was going to keep it till you grow up so you can accept your fate then, but you leave no choice, here take it and read it to know where is your Dad and the rest of your family. I looked at the paper, it was from Ali saying, “dear RIHAL, I am truly sorry for not being next to you when you read this letter about your family. before I came to your window I saw your Dad. he was still alive, catching his last breath. I tried to help him but there was nothing I could do for him, he left. He said, son it’s too late, it’s time to go home in peace, here we lived and here we die. he was the one who told me about you. he said, check on my daughter, if she is alive help her and take her away. tell her not to cry, not to shed tears, not to grieve, not to be sad, her tears are too precious to me. our separation is short, we will meet again and she will run and jump into my arms as in the old days. tell her I love her, no matter how far the distance between us, even if it’s as far as the death, tell her I love her from the day one to endless, she is the sweat baby of my heart. This is what your Dad said. I know I lied to you, but that was the only way to get you to leave and that was your Dad's last wish. he wanted you to be safe and happy in your life. one day we meet again and I will explain to you what happened there. I know you probably hate me now but one day you will understand, why I kept the truth from you. Your friend, Ali.

I couldn’t accept the fact that my Dad and mom and my little brother are dead. The idea that I will not see my Dad was not acceptable to me. for days and days my tears didn’t dry out. I walked through the whole camp from tent to tent holding my Dads picture, showing it to everyone I see, asking them, have you seen my Dad? they all thought I lost my mind, no family wanted to keep me with their children. I was wandering around bare foot, hungry, sleeping outside in the cold rain. I just didn’t care any more about myself. from the day I read that letter, my heart became empty, my life became meaningless. many people tried to help me and take care of me. some of them wanted me to do their work, some others were mean to me. the guards tried to help as much as they could. they gave me food, clothes, but no one was able to keep me in one place, until one day a truck entered the camp. they were loading some concrete blocks and other stuff. I was watching other kids playing and this man stood there staring at me with his tears coming down. then he left. a short time after that he and the guard came to me. he said, Rihal, you are going to leave with these two men to live in a better place where you will receive better attention and maybe you will go to school. go with them, they are good guys, they will take good care of you. here is my phone number if you don’t like it or wish to come back here, I will come and bring you back to the camp.

I don’t know why I agreed to leave with them but somehow I felt some relief. maybe it was my destiny to go with them. they took me to the house of one to meet his mom and his sisters. they were very kind to me, his mom gave me good bath. then TAHA and his friend Ageed, the one who was crying when he saw me in the camp, they took me shopping, bought new clothes. we went to the restaurant, it was fun, then we went back to his house again, to live with from what I understood from his broken Arabic, but none of the rest of his family spoke Arabic. I found myself sitting among some people. I don’t know them. I don’t understand a word they are saying. I start crying. I wanted to go back to the camp. poor family didn’t know what to do. next day Taha brought me with him to his work. there was a Syrian Family working for them. they had a little baby. when they spoke to me in my language and when I saw the baby it was big relief for me. so they decided to leave me with this family and they will take of all my needs.


The End

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