Autumn of Isaac

Autumn of Isaac(MariaMagdalena) 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”
Genesis 22:11-12



“I have to kill my only child.”
“What?” A psychiatrist lifted his eyebrows gaspingly.
“I don’t want to do it, but I have to. Kill my child. Kill him. Kill my only child. Kill my firstling”
“But if you don’t want to, what’s the matter? You must love him, take care of him, but not to kill! It’s simply against human nature.”
“HIM I like most” said the patient, obviously with a sinking heart. “I don’t want. I have to.”
“OK. You have to. But who makes you have to do it?”
“He. He asks me. Every day. I can’t refuse. It’s such honor…an honor of killing your child…for Him”
“You mean God?” The doctor seemed to be put out of countenance.
“I mean Him! He asks me to do it! He forces! He beggs! I have to”
“Hmmm… What are you?” The question was out of place at least, but it was the one thing the doctor could think out.
“I was an arts critic” said the man indifferently.
“That’s great! And what period did you specialize?”
“Renaissance.. This disgusting, this awful period where people…not people…beasts who dared put them at the first place before Him! Before Him, you understand?!” His eyes became bloodshot.
“Before the God? Yes, I know Renaissance…The idea of a perfect celebration of the human condition by such geniuses as Cavallini, Da Vinci, Titian…”
“The human condition? Geniuses? They were beasts! Fools! They thought they were powerful! But they were not! They are not. Thy will not!” the man’s voice went to squeal. “I HATE them all. But…perhaps some of them, Giotto, Matteo di Giovanni…I hate them less”
“Quiet, quiet, please…It’s all just because of stress. It’s right decision go to me…”
“She made me go”
“You mean your wife? Oh yes…She told me you had worked so hard last months. You see, it’s necessary to take a rest for you in our clinic.”

The spring comes. Four months passed since this conversation. What a nice picture! The health man left the clinic, surrounded by his beautiful wife with perfect smile and the son, hugging and kissing him. Can you imagine more pleasant picture than this one? A picture of family who talking happily during the dinner? This one does the same! A picture of a family where daddy plays with his son? This one does the same! A picture of a family where a father teaches his child to ride a bike? This one does the same! A picture of the family where a man goes with his son to a church? This one does the same! What a nice picture!

The autumn comes. Raining comes with it. People don’t like autumn. They don’t like anything that is bad outside. Slush. Puddles. Few people think of charm of this season, its beauty in which the nature is preparing for long deep sleep. A blanket, made with golden, red leaves covers the world is accompanied with fresh wind, so desirable, so long-awaited after summer heat…But people don’t think about it. It’s just rain, wind and cold for them. It’s our nature not to see what is inside. Inside autumn. Inside people…

“What’s your doing? To be honest, I was a bit surprised to learn that you are going to visit me again. Problems again?”
“Of course not, doctor! I feel rather better…”
“So, how’s your wife? Son? Mike, if I am not mistaken?”
“Mike… He was Mike…I baptized him”
“Really? And when?” The doctor did all his best to have a conversation at ease but the heart missed a beat foully.
“40 days ago. Isaac. Call him Isaac.”
Chill ran down the doctor’s back.
“Oh, I see you spend much more time with him.”
“I follow your advice” whispered the man.
“Playing with him?” asked the doctor in timid voice.
“Don’t make a fool, you, old! Making best by playing with him? Stop kidding me! I kill him! I kill Isaac!”
“You are mad..” Now, the doctor didn’t pretend to hide his fear.
“You are fool! You are all fools! You just sent me to a clinic for a couple of month, but did you really think it would be enough? It’s a drop in the ocean in comparison to my love for Him! But you are too stupid to see it!” he was interrupted by a sudden fit of coughing.
“Autumn…It’s raining now you see. People don’t like it. You don’t like it I’m sure. You sent me to a clinic when I was autumn MYSELF. You hoped, they hoped I would become summer. People like summer. It’s so good outside. I was good for you 5 minutes ago. Just 5 minutes ago I was a summer for you. Outside. But I was always autumn. You all are too stupid to understand it. But now, now my son is with Him. My Firstling. I had to killed my only child. ”