I will wait for you forever(Krysta Skyee) I will wait for you forever


Dear Diary,

Something awful is going to happen today.

I don’t know why I wrote that. It’s crazy. There is no reason for me to be upset and every reason for me to be happy but…

But here I am at 5:30 in the morning, awake and terrified. I keep telling myself it’s that it was just a bad dream… but it felt so real! Even still, that doesn’t explain why I feel so scared, so lost. I keep telling myself over and over again, “Go back to bed, Rayne.” But that does not look like it’s going to happen anytime soon.

Love, me.



BEEP. BEEP. My alarm clock goes off. “Time for school,” I sigh to myself. I’m sitting in the same spot as I was at 5:30 this morning. I’m still at sitting on this hard, creaky, uncomfortable, wooden chair in front of my desk staring at the diary entry I wrote. I have this... I’m not sure what to call it… feeling? Yeah, I guess I could call it that. I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen today. I’m not sure what is going to happen or when it is going to happen, but I know that something is going to happen.



I eventually manage to drag my exhausted and tired self to my closet and pick out an outfit. I lay out my outfit which is a flowered white blouse and light blue skinny jeans onto my bed and then go into the bathroom to do my “business.” I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. What I see in front of me is someone that no guy wants. Except one guy. My best friend Aeron.



Aeron and I have been best friends since... forever. You see, his mom Crystal and my mom Madeline have been best friends since middle school. They both got pregnant at the same time in their senior year of high school. It wasn’t on purpose of course, it just happened that way. I must give my mom credit for being a teen mom (and an amazing one at that!) Since our moms were (and still are) best friends, we grew up together. We learned everything about each other and eventually throughout the years grew feelings for each other. We’re now in 9th grade and the feeling is pretty mutual between us. I like him, he likes me. Plain and simple. We aren’t dating though… but I wish!



I have long silky brownish-blonde hair, and big brown eyes to match. I’m skinny, and I’m very short for my age. I’m 15 and I’m only 4’11. Aeron, on the other hand, has smooth black hair and beautiful hazel eyes. He is 15 as well and he is normal size and is 5’10. I love everything about him, he’s perfect. Most people consider Aeron to be “emo” because he wears black clothes with skulls and black eyeliner. He’s that guy that every girl in school wants, and I’m that girl that no guy in school wants.



I quietly tiptoe into my bedroom from the bathroom, making sure to not wake my mom. I throw my worn clothes onto the floor and put on my outfit. I can’t shake this feeling off. I keep repeating in my head over and over again uncontrollably, “Something is going to go wrong today. Something bad is going to happen today.” I then put that thought in the back of my mind and go downstairs and pour myself a bowl of Captin Crunch. Yum! I look at the time and it is 6:47… gosh, I only have three minutes to get out to my bus stop! I run upstairs and grab my backpack and then run to the bathroom and put toothpaste on my toothbrush—then I run out the door!



Everybody is looking at me weird because I am running like a maniac to my bus stop while brushing my teeth. I don’t blame them, I’d be staring too! All eyes are on me, I can feel my own heartbeat—each beat growing faster with embarrassment. I throw my toothbrush on the ground and wipe off my mouth with my blouse sleeve. Standing here for what felt like forever, the bus finally came. I hop on and go straight to the back and sit with Aeron and tell him about the interesting morning I just had.



“Everybody was staring at me like I was some kind of zoo animal,” I tell him.

“Well silly girl, you were brushing your teeth at the bus stop,” he says, with a teasing laugh.

“Oh shush, it’s not like you haven’t ever been rushed before,” I said with a playful smirk, nudging him with my elbow.



He kisses me on the cheek and tells me that he has been wanting to do that for a while now, but never built up the courage to. That’s the first time he has ever kissed me! I can feel myself blushing and turn away so he cannot see me smiling like a dork. He just laughs and turns away also. We arrive at school at 7:03 and Aeron and I quickly get off the bus and head to the school’s entrance door.



He opens the door and says, “Ladies first.”

“Well thank you, you’re such a gentleman!” I tell him.

“HEY EVERYBODY! AERON’S A GENTLEMAN!” I scream as loud as I can, trying to embarrass him.

“I hate you,” he says, laughing.

“You can’t hate me. I’m your best friend!” I say, teasing.



He just smiles and nods in agreement. The first 3 periods flew by quickly! Now it’s time to go to the cafeteria to eat lunch. (Or should I say, pigs slop? The food here is DISGUSTING!!) Aeron comes in and sits down at our table that we sat at every day for lunch. He looks at me with a worried look on his face.



“What is wrong, Aeron? You look worried or something,” I ask him.

“I am worried, that I’m going to lose you!” he says, with a tear running down his cheek.

“What do you mean? You will never lose me… you know that!!” I explain to him, wiping away his tear.

“I, um… I found a girl. She said that she liked me today, and now we’re dating. Please don’t hate me!” he says, shakily.

“I—I—I don’t know what to say,” I tell him, studdering.

“Just don’t say anything then. Just please don’t hate me!” he says again.

“I thought I was your girl! I thought we had something special, Aeron!!!” I tell him, screaming loud enough for him to tell that I was angered.

“You are. Well, you were. But there’s something about this girl. I hope you understand,” he says, with a sad look on his face.

“I will wait for you then, because honestly, I don’t want anybody else,” I tell him, with a tear in the corner of my eye.



With that, he gets up and walks over to his new girlfriend’s table. But he always has lunch with me! I was so upset that I couldn’t eat my lunch. I sat there, by myself all lunch period. I am shaking and very upset and worried—I don’t want that girl to take my best friend away from me. I like him so much! I can’t believe this—this can’t be happening! This is by far the worst thing that has happened to me. Oh my gosh! I just realized that this is what woke me up out of my sleep last night! This was the bad feeling I had about something happening today.



The day went as slow as a butterfly without wings. It was time to go home—finally! I just want to go home and curl up into a ball and stay like that forever. I sadly climb up the bus steps and walk right past Aeron and go straight to the back of the bus and slump down in a seat. Aeron looks back and calls my name but I don’t respond. I don’t want to talk to him! I don’t even want to look at him! He broke my heart. Aeron comes back…



“Hey best friend! Look, I’m sorry for making you upset. That was the last thing I wanted to do,” he says, thoughtfully.

“Well, I am upset. You know that I like you.” I told him.

“I know, and I liked you too!” he admits.

“So, what happened?!” I asked, furiously.

“Well, I just fell for her. What can I do to make you feel better?” he asks, with a frown.

“Just leave me alone. That’s what you can do!” I tell him, screaming.



ERRRCH. The bus comes to a creaky stop. I get off the bus and start walking to my house when I hear Aeron running after me, yelling my name. I ignore him. He yells my name again. I ignore him, again. Tears are rolling down my face faster than the speed of light. He catches up to me and hugs me from behind.



“Please, please, please forgive me!” he begs.

“I just can’t believe you did this. Aeron, I love you!’ I say, the “L” word ringing over and over again in my head. I can’t believe I just told him I loved him!

“You what?” he asks, shocked.

“Nothing, forget it!” I tell him, with a confused look on my face because I couldn’t believe that I loved him.

“Can I come in and talk?” He asks with tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

“NO!” I tell him, sternly.



He turns away and heads home. I run into my house and jump under my covers and curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out. I cry and cry for hours. The tears keep rolling down my cheeks. BANG. BANG. BANG. Three loud knocks on my door.



“Honey, it’s me!” my mom calls from behind my door.

“Go away!” I tell her, still crying.



She ignores what I said and comes in anyway. Once she sees my tear stained face she comes in and sits down on the bed next to me. I turn away and wipe the tears off of my face. She places her hand in mine, attempting to comfort me. She then looks into my eyes.



“What is wrong, sweetheart?” she asks, with a warming smile.

“I thought he loved me! But he’s with somebody else!” I say, with a crackling voice.

“Oh honey, it will all be okay! I promise. It takes time!” she tells me, in a loving tone.

“Dinner is ready, my love. Come downstairs and eat.” she tells me.

“I’m not hungry.” I tell her, then lay down and cover myself back over.



She leaves my room and goes back downstairs. I grip onto my blanket as hard as I can and start crying again. I pray to God, asking Him to please bring Aeron back to me. I lay there for hours staring at the beige celling. I close my eyes and fall asleep to make the pain go away for a couple of hours.



The next day in school Aeron attempted to talk to me all day but I kept blowing him off. I didn’t eat lunch again at school and I barely talked to anybody. I am depressed and in a slump. I go to my locker and put my books from 8th period into it. I look over to the right of me and there is Aeron and Faythe kissing. Not on the cheek—on the lips! That was all too much for me. I shut down and run to the bathroom crying. I can’t stop crying. My emotions are all over the place. My best friend and the love of my life is in love with somebody else! I call my mom and have her pick me up since I don’t want to get on the bus and face Aeron.



Months go by and I’m still depressed. I’m not eating and I’ve become very skinny. I am losing a lot of weight and my skin is turning pale. My mom takes me out of public school and puts me into Cyber School, hoping that not having to see Aeron every day will help me. Mom is really worried about me. “Honey, I need you to eat something. Please!” she cries, begging. I just shrug her off and walk away. With every step I take I can feel how fragile and weak I am. My mom tells me she is going to Pittsburgh to find me a good therapist that can help me.



I pick up my cellphone and look through my contact and dial Aeron’s number. It rings and rings and rings with no answer. I run upstairs with my cellphone and sit down on the chair in front of my desk where I write at. With tears in my eyes, I pick up the ink pen and with my hands shaking I begin to write..



Dear Diary,

I can’t handle this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I am getting weaker and weaker each day. I am not going to live much longer. I can feel myself wasting away. All I want to do is to be with Aeron. I want him to be mine. But that is never going to happen. My whole world has turned upside down. He means so much to me, I can’t bare him to be with that girl. I am never going to be happy again!

Love, me.



I sit there for a couple minutes, crying. I feel so alone. I feel so unwanted. I pick up my cellphone and attempt to get ahold of him for the second time. RING. RING. RING. Somebody on the other line finally picks up.



“Hello?” he answers.

“Aeron, come here quick. There’s not much time.” I tell him, crying.

“Rayne, I have to tell you something!” he tells me.

“Just come quick!!!” I yell, with tears strolling down my face.

“But Rayne, I need you to know tha—“ I cut him off and hang up the phone.



I go to the kitchen, and pick up a sharp steak knife. It’s time for me to go. I’m not wanted here. Nobody likes me. Aeron’s never going to love me again. There’s no reason for me to be here anymore. I take out a piece of paper and begin to write Aeron a note.



Dear Aeron,

I love you so much. You will never understand how much I love you. I will never forget about you, so please never forget about me. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Remember when I told you that I would wait for you because I didn’t want anybody else? Well, here is my promise to you. I will wait for you—in heaven. This is not goodbye, it’s just an “I will see you later.” Till then, I hope you’re happy with your “girlfriend.”

Love, Rayne.



I go upstairs. I sit on my bed and fold the note into a tiny heart shape. I take the knife and start cutting my wrists. I start grinding my teeth and clinching from the pain, but I don’t stop. The letter is now covered in blood along with my jeans and the bed spread. I start crying and shaking forcefully. I then take a deep breath and say, “Goodbye, Aeron” then I ram the knife deep into my stomach. With blood dripping down my body, I hear the front door open. Aeron searches the house screaming my name. He then comes to my room and finds me laying on my bed, covered in blood with a knife in my stomach.



He cries, “NO! RAYNE! NO!!!”

Still breathing, but barely… I whisper the words, “I love you.”

“I’m a murderer! I’m a murderer! I’m a murderer!” he keeps screaming over and over again, blaming himself.



He walks over to me, shaking, and pulls the knife out of my stomach. He then picks me up and holds me tightly against him. His eyeliner is running down his face with his tears. He puts his hand on my chest, trying to feel a pulse. There is one, but it is very slow. He strokes my blood-stained hair gently. He then finds the bloody note and unfolds it and reads it.



“I’m so sorry, baby girl.” He keeps saying over and over again, crying against my lifeless body.

He kisses my forehead then whispers, “I love you too. I’ve always loved you Rayne. I’m so sorry I didn’t see that before. I will never forget about you. I will see you again soon, love.”

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