The Demon, I loved.

I met Michael on an ordinary day, visiting with one of my best friends on a short lunch break. I had been working at a local home improvement store for a few years and knew Brandy very well. Her brother had been through a lot of issues and the more she told me the more my heart felt for him. I had no idea that when I met him I would fall madly in love, almost instantly. He had tattoos and a bad boy attitude, but was sweet and emotional at the same time. He had been married to a woman that constantly cheated on him and wronged him, I knew I could show him what it felt like to be loved. He had the most gorgeous blue eyes, that almost stared into my soul. We slowly began talking over the internet & although I knew Brandy did not want me dating her brother, I couldn't help myself.

About two months after the very first time I saw him, we spent the evening together. We stayed up listening and discussing music all night long. I had never met anyone that loved music the way I did, and our tastes were right on cue. Things developed very quickly after that night. Michael didn't exactly have anywhere to stay at that point, he had just been sleeping at friends houses here and there, carrying all of his things along with him. I allowed him to come to my house, and even hung all of his clothing in my closet. I wanted him to feel as though he could have a home. A real life. Not too shortly after that, I came to the realization that Michael was a drug addict. He would disappear for days at a time and return with apologies and excuses. I loved him too much and I knew that I could help him through this.
The first time Michael ever struck me was about six months into our relationship. I can't even to this day remember what drove Michael to lay his hands on me for the very first time. He held me down in our bathroom floor and choked me until I couldn't breathe. I felt shocked and angry, but mostly hurt that the person I love more than anything could hurt me the way that he had. Moments later, he began to cry and apologize. I knew that he meant it because he loved me. There was no way he would purposefully ever hurt me. Michael confided in me, that as a young boy he had been sexually molested by a doctor at a psych facility where his parents had placed him. He also told me he had spent some time in prison for a burglury charge he got when he was seventeen. He received three years for that charge and was placed in a very high risk tank, where he was repeatedly raped for an entire year straight. At that point I began to consider him a tormented soul. He needed my help. He just needed to be loved.

A few weeks later we had plans to go to the Incubus concert with my best friend Jessi, who I had known since the age of eleven. Michael had a few beers before we left and I recall getting frustrated with him as I was trying to figure out directions to dallas. We finally made our way there and went inside of the concert. We had paid for pretty good seats, rather than general admission and were very excited to be up close to my favorite band. We left for the concession stand and somehow Michael lost our ticket stubs. We were stuck in the general admission area for the remainder of the concert. Of course I was upset, this was supposed to be an amazing day for me and we had already been arguing all day and it was about to storm outside. What else could go wrong? Michael used my frustration to blame me as he became physical, yet again. Michael pushed me up against a pole and choked me in front of probably twenty people at the concession stand. He then placed his arm around my shoulders as if he was holding me and squeezed tighter and tigther until I couldn't breathe. He continued to choke me in front of hundreds of people, while my friend Jessi searched for security. He made me run with him into the middle of the lawn and stay there for the remainder of the concert.

Throughout the next three years of my life I was drowned, beaten with the chain from his wallet and had knives held to my neck on multiple occasions. Somehow throughout this time he had convinced me that if we had a child together, he would be able to stop the violence and be a family man. I became pregnant in May of 2012. Michael continued to beat me throughout my entire pregnancy, while never once hitting my stomach. When I was eigth months pregnant I remember him slaming me into the wall and shoving my head through a picture frame.
I had our child on March 21,2013. A beautiful baby boy. I had to have a cesarean section and was sent home three days after. On March 26th 2013, Michael got very drunk and I was once again on his bad side. He was arrested for a third degree felony after he threw me around outside, choked me unbelievably hard and long, and slammed me on the hood of a car. Five days after abdominal surgery. His parents bonded him out of jail.

Michael convinced me that we should move out to Granbury, where I had been working at the time as a nurse. I agreed. We found a place and settled right in. Had I ever known what would happen six months down the road, never would I ever had made that decision. On January 8, 2014 Michael had been alone at home with our nine month old son while I was working. Now, apparently eighty percent of men that abuse their wives move on to also abuse their children. I was oblivious to that statistic prior to this date.

I received a call from Michael at two o'clock am screaming and crying that our baby had fallen out of the bed and he couldnt move his arm. He thought that our little miniature pinscher may have attacked him on top of that. Our mattress sat on top of a boxspring, which sat on top of the floor. I didn't think twice, I ran out of my job and flew through every red light on the way home to get my baby to the hospital. When we arrived in the ER, the smell of alcohol all over Michael, was undeniable. When the nurse removed my sons clothing, he had little flat toothed bite barks all over his tiny little body. He was also unable to move his left arm, which was dangling next to him. My poor child was injured and I had let this happen!! The xrays came back showing a spiral fracture to my sons left humerous. A fracture that is known to com from "twisting" or "jerking"
Michael was arrested for a first degree felony injury to a child, and we were placed under a protective order. He continued to call my phone and send letters for a few weeks until the jail was finally able to intercept everything. Five months have passed and although I still feel confused and hurt for my child, we are surviviors. I know that now. Michael was likely to kill me and our child eventually. Now we don't ever have to worry again.

If I could go back in time, I would have gotten my child away from him much earlier. I NEVER thought he would ever hurt our baby. Domestic violence is unpredictable and lethal. I need to tell my story, for myself and for others. Once a man has put his hands on you, he is likely to never stop. My son and I are lucky, although our hardships have been vast , we are alive. We are lucky. You might not be. Break the silence. Get help and love yourself. No one deserves to be abused.