Honeymoon(Ranya) Honeymoon

Susan had a look around her in the luxurious Jeep; her husband was concentrating on the serpentine road that extended endlessly in front of him. He seemed a little bit tired because he had been driving all night, nevertheless; his well-built shoulders relaxed idly on the comfortable chair cushion. She looked outside, there was nothing to see, everything was so white, as if white was the color of fashion that year.

“Oh! I have never thought I would see a whole country colored with ONLY white!” She tried to make a conversation because there was nothing that she could do. All the landscapes disappeared in Turkey under the cover of snow. “Why? Don’t you like snow?” her husband asked with a little frown on his forehead.
“I DO…like snow.” (However, it is just too much snow that you can see nothing or feel nothing.) She completed the sentence in her own mind, making no other comments. She was not sure of her husband’s reaction; they were newly-weds, he might consider her a naughty-nagging child if she complained about snow.
Without any logical reason, she felt a shiver going down her spine, so she touched her cheeks with the back of her hand in a very natural and unconscious way. It was hot inside; the air conditioner was headed towards her face. She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt over a pair of jeans and her preferred sneakers. She tried to remember where she got her sneakers from, but in vain. It seemed to her like an old memory at that moment. Her husband interrupted her confused mind by saying that their next stop will be after ten minutes, in a hotel where he used to spend his nights. “We will have our meal in the hotel; I think you will love it.”
“OK.” She replied in an automatic way; her mind was so occupied.

At that moment, she started to think about the wisdom of travelling by car during the end of December on her honeymoon! From the first moment when she met her husband, he seemed to her a car-connected man. That is how she classifies men; either they are indifferent about their cars and driving or they are fond of their cars enough to be inseparable of them. That was exactly how her husband was classified according to her. He does not like taxis at all; he just likes to drive his own Jeep. When he gave her the choice to travel by car or by plane, she asked him, “Could you drive all the way alone?” Finally, she took the romantic decision as usual, and decided that the car journey would be more romantic; especially that she never experienced that before.

“We would spend as much time as you wish, travelling from one country to another.” That was her husband’s suggestion. “But if you do not prefer it, we could easily go by plane and get our car back home by a cargo ship.” The words came into her mind like a flashlight, when she discovered that she was at least two thousand kilometers away from her home.

All that was a few days ago, when they decided it was the time to go back. In fact, it was his decision because there was her home. She never knew any other place to call her home but her country, though she tried to concentrate on one idea; that she left her home to go with her husband to Europe.

Before they crossed the boarders in her country, her husband turned to her and said joyfully “Be careful! This is the last time for you to see people from your country,” and gave her one of his lovely smiles. He was joking with her; nevertheless, for her nothing was a joke any more.
At the checkpoint, he said that he might need some time to complete the car’s documents and encouraged her to make shopping at the free zone shopping market instead of waiting alone in the car. With a soft “OK”, she took her handbag and headed towards the shopping area. It was not so huge but still very nice smelling, well-organized and so attractive. She strolled in front of the glass shelves that reflected the spotlights elegantly. Make up kits, perfumes, cigarettes, chocolate, watches of all brand names were displayed, and the working assistants were smiling at her. She was walking like in a dream when you think that everything will end up in any coming minute or when you desperately need somebody to shake you until you wake up. She did not buy anything; even she did not touch anything.

All her life, she considered those places for tourists who come to visit her country and not for her, but it seemed to her that things were going to be different henceforth. Her husband came back and he was so surprised because she was already in the car. “I thought you would love to spend the whole day there. Let’s see what did you buy?” “Nothing”, was her only response. “We could go back if you would like me to come with you.” “No, thank you. I have already bought so many things; I do not think that I will need any perfume or any cosmetics in the next five years.” There was a half smile on her face, her husband smiled back but felt that he was uncertain about her, she was not as sure as she pretended to be. Then, he asked her if she had any national banknotes, she answered positively. He explained that they have to exchange them into hard currency, “Honey, you will never need them in Euroooooooope.” He whispered. She handed him a few hundreds and he headed towards the bank.

It was in that moment when she started to feel a heavy hand grasping her soul, her breaths came out faintly and the whole air suddenly became out of her reach. She had managed to take a deep breath to refresh her blocked lungs before her husband came to say that every thing was just under control. He was so happy, if only she could be as happy as he was, or as relaxed, many things would be different, or at least less difficult.

They reached the last step when a police officer greeted them so kindly, asked for their passports and wished them a very nice and safe trip. He was smiling at them, especially at her, and she could barely smile back. She felt something else, she had never seen this person before; nevertheless, she felt she knew him; she would like to stick there and not to move forward. She felt a strange need to hug him. She did not do anything, she felt powerless as never before. That officer was really that last person that she could see from her country.

A few meters away, her husband was so relieved that everything went easily in a short time.
“Susan, you would better call your family now to say GOODBYYYYE, because in the following few kilometers your mobile will be out of contact.” With a shaken hand, she dialed the phone number that she learnt by heart, the most adorable voice on earth answered on the other end. “Hello, mom.” “Susan, is that you?” and her mother started inquiring about all the procedures in details… She answered in an automatic way, responded briefly and tried to be as normal as she could be. Her own words came out as if she was seeing them in her own eyes but her ears could not hear them anymore. She was sure that a million prayers of having a safe journey were pleaded to God to help her and her husband. She chatted with her brother and sisters and spent the last minutes listening to her dear father talking softly to her. In those moments, she started to appreciate the virtue of silence. She wanted to listen to them and not to talk, she wanted to save every tone, and every whisper in her heart before it is too late. She was drawing images for each one of them in her memory before leaving the country… her mind was working in too many different directions that she could understand nothing but having so many confused feelings, images, or they were memories, who knows?

She loves her husband so much, in fact, she fell in love with him from the first moment when they were introduced to each other in a family occasion; she discovered that she belongs to him and that she hopes that he would be the man of all her life. He is a real man who cares for every thing concerning her. He loves her so much, he does not say it by words but it is obviously shown in his words talking to her, in his looks when she caught him accidentally watching her, in his warm hugs holding her. Still, there was that feeling which seemed so mysterious to her, leaving everything she knew, leaving all the places where she lived for thirty years to go to Europe. She felt so hollow inside, as if some fruitful tree was uprooted, as if some one threw her in the outer space, where she could not come back to Planet Earth. She started missing them all since this precise moment.

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