Clureed

Clureed(Timothy Rebsom) Clureed


Yora Psesht is escorted into the courtroom as a final witness in a robbery/murder trial.

“Raise your right hand,” says the court clerk, “Yora Psesht, do...do... wait, is that really your name?”

“Yes sir, Yora Psesht, I’m visiting here from Uranus,” replies Yora as the Judge chokes on a drink of water and slams his gavel to his desk (BAM!).

“Mr. Ps aaa, I mean, hmmm, Yora, do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?” asks the Judge.

“I do.” replies Yora as the Judge sits back in his chair clutching his head with both hands watching Yora take a seat in the witness booth.

The Judge then adds with a sigh, “I would like to go on record telling everyone in this courtroom to do not, I repeat, do not squeeze the Charmin!” The Judge then informs the defense attorney he may question the witness.

The defense attorney limps up to the witness stand and asks, “Mr. Psesht, will you please tell us what you observed at the S-mart, 31415, Pike Place that night?"

“Yes sir,” says Yora, “I stopped at the S-mart to get a home-made pie, ice cream and a coke when two bananas entered the store and shot the pea working behind the counter. there was pea everywhere. I hid in the newspaper rack, it felt safe with the pea all over the place. I watched them take the money and then they peeled out.”

“Hmmm,” replies the defense attorney with a sideways look, “have you ever owned a dog?”

“I object,” screams the prosecuting attorney, “what does that have to do with this case?”

“No more questions your Honor,” interrupts the defense attorney as he sits down looking away from the angry face on the Judge.

The Judge then informs the prosecuting attorney he may question the witness. The prosecuting attorney rises and limps to the front of his desk asking, “Mr. Psesht will you please tell us if the two bananas you observed at S-mart, 31415, Pike Place are in this courtroom today?”

“They sure look like the two bananas I seen that night, but it seems like they both changed their stickers around, that one should have the Dole and that one the Chiquita sticker.” points Yora nodding his head.

“No more questions your Honor, we rest our case,” says the prosecuting attorney returning to his chair.

“All the evidence has been heard,” says the Judge, “You may step down from the witness stand Yora and wait to be escorted out of the courtroom.”

Then a blinding light came down from above entrapping Yora. when the light disappeared Yora was gone too.

“I object your Honor,” cries out the defense attorney, “was that witness real, was that a trick of the prosecuting attorney to convict my two clients? I demand a miss-trial!”

The Judge in utter confusion looks around the courtroom saying, “I seen it with my own eyes, your demand will be presented before the Supreme Court, this court is dismissed."



Two weeks later the two bananas are found in the desert, according to the coroners’ report both were skinned alive and shot multiple times with a potato gun. Anybody with information about this crime please contact 1-800-THE-END? Copyright 2014 by B2ton Robot