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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Comedy / Humor
- Published: 05/24/2014
Absence Line - Monday
Born 1976, M, from Sheffield, United KingdomMonday
Ring ring ring ring
“Good Morning Absence line. Jen speaking”
“Morning Jen, it's Chris I am not going to be in today”
“Cold?”
“No?”
“Diarrhea? Vomiting?”
“No.”
“Flu, Man Flu, Asian Flu, Spanish Flu, Bird Flu, Influenza?”
“No”
“Migraine, accident, allergic reaction, Asthma, Burn, Chickenpox, Measles, Pain specific or non specific, Laryngitis?”
“No”
“Scurvy, the Blight, Ricketts, Polio, Leprosy, Plague, Myxomatosis, Typhoid, Black death?”
“Leper what?”
“Leprosy, it's where bits drop off.”
“Yuck, no. Isn’t Myxomatosis just rabbits?”
“Possibly, shall cross it off the list. So why are you not coming in?”
“Bad karma”
“Bad karma?”
“Yes, bad karma”
“A feeling of doom and loneliness?”
“Yes”
“A feeling of paranoia and that all the world is out to get you?”
“Yes”
“Well it is okay to feel alone, depressed and paranoid from time to time, it’s part of the human condition. It is perfectly natural and a recognition that luck and life travel in cycles of joy and of misfortune. It is the inner understanding that in this world of the future that there are still things the scientific mind cannot explain. Bad Karma is the inner mind reminding you that the elevator goes down as well as up. Do you know what I am saying?”
“You want me to come in to work?”
“Pretty please”
Click.
Absence Line - Monday(Chris Carter)
Monday
Ring ring ring ring
“Good Morning Absence line. Jen speaking”
“Morning Jen, it's Chris I am not going to be in today”
“Cold?”
“No?”
“Diarrhea? Vomiting?”
“No.”
“Flu, Man Flu, Asian Flu, Spanish Flu, Bird Flu, Influenza?”
“No”
“Migraine, accident, allergic reaction, Asthma, Burn, Chickenpox, Measles, Pain specific or non specific, Laryngitis?”
“No”
“Scurvy, the Blight, Ricketts, Polio, Leprosy, Plague, Myxomatosis, Typhoid, Black death?”
“Leper what?”
“Leprosy, it's where bits drop off.”
“Yuck, no. Isn’t Myxomatosis just rabbits?”
“Possibly, shall cross it off the list. So why are you not coming in?”
“Bad karma”
“Bad karma?”
“Yes, bad karma”
“A feeling of doom and loneliness?”
“Yes”
“A feeling of paranoia and that all the world is out to get you?”
“Yes”
“Well it is okay to feel alone, depressed and paranoid from time to time, it’s part of the human condition. It is perfectly natural and a recognition that luck and life travel in cycles of joy and of misfortune. It is the inner understanding that in this world of the future that there are still things the scientific mind cannot explain. Bad Karma is the inner mind reminding you that the elevator goes down as well as up. Do you know what I am saying?”
“You want me to come in to work?”
“Pretty please”
Click.
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