Is it Worth it?

Is it Worth it?(Brenden Gooch) He thought to himself ,“Is this worth it.?I’ve been through a lot with her but its’ just not working out. It even started out rocky. I got her pregnant at 16 and had three more kids with her after that. I need to do this, though; I’m not happy with her. We fight constantly and we don’t have the same disciplinary views for our kids. Also, I love this new girl. Shes pretty, young, smart, and funny. Ugh, I don’t know what to do.” Tom has never had to make a decision this big before. What is he going to do?
Brody is his oldest son of 15; he’s six foot one and slender. He is the reason Tom ended up marrying his wife Ronda is the first place. Tom is also six foot one, kinda built but with a beer gut and a shaved head. He also has three other kids: Harold who is 7, Alex who is 6, and Casey who is 4. It is because of these four that he just doesn’t leave Ronda.
Brody is constantly trying to get his dad’s acceptance no matter how much he gets shot down. Since he was 12, he’s been on the border of being abused. He has been thrown into counters, walls, and tables. Also, last year, while he was deciding on what classes to take, he and Tom got into a huge fight and Tom punched a huge hole into the wall, following it up with a “You're lucky it wasn’t your face.” His mom always supports him, though. Whenever Brody chose to stick with band instead of choosing to play football, she supported him and went to all of his competitions and concerts. Tom, on the other hand, thought it was a horrible decision. Whenever he did go to a competition, he made sure he let everyone know he was bored. Brody resented his dad and tried to ignore him, but he wasn’t able to subdue his unnatural need for his father's acceptance.
Brody blamed himself for his parents’ troubles, for every time he heard the arguing, his name kept coming up.One night he thought to himself, “I’m sorry, God, for everything I’ve done. Please stop this fighting… Please… It’s all I hear every night and it needs to end.” As he finished his thought he was finally able to get sleep. However, it was the worst sleep he had in years. He had a nightmare that his mom was shot and killed in front of him and he couldn’t do anything to prevent it. He knew it was going to happen, he knew she was going to get hurt, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t move. He tried shouting, “Mom! Look out!” But nothing came out of his lips. His mom’s killers then ran off and he woke up abruptly. He believed that the dream reflected his current situation. He knew his mom was going to get hurt but he couldn’t do anything about it.
Tom left for work the next morning like normal and Brody kept his dream secret. He spent the day like normal and hung out with friends, went to band practice, then came home and ate dinner. However, Tom wasn’t back yet; he usually got back for dinner. Brody didn’t think much of it and said to himself, “He’s working over time.” He was wrong.
Tom was at Firemans Bar, talking to a cocktail waitress with whom he was having an affair. He said to her, “Don’t worry. Just give me a couple of days to figure out how to break the news to my kids and I will be all yours.”
She said, “Be quick about it. I miss you whenever you’re gone too long.”
“I know but I promise within a week’s time you’ll never have to miss me again.” Tom the kissed her and left to go home since it was 5:30 and he had to be up in five hours.
When Tom arrived home he thought about how to tell the kids he was moving out. He figured he would move out first, then he would tell the kids; so that’s what he did. While all of the kids were at their various sports practices, he told Ronda that he was moving out that night and there was nothing she could say or do. He then left.
Ronda picked up Brody. After he was in the car she said, “Your dad moved out and he said that he is not coming back.”
Brody looked at her like she just said the world exploded. He said, “He… he moved out while I was at practice. He didn’t even have the nerve to do it when I was home.” His anger became uncontrollable and he started bawling.
Ronda looked at him and patted his back. She said to him, “It’s going to be okay. He is coming back tomorrow to tell you guys that he is moving out and I promise I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you guys still grow up with a happy childhood.”
Brody just looked at her, walked inside, and went straight to bed. He had a really hard time sleeping that night. He just couldn’t get it out of his head that it was his fault all of this happened in the first place. He almost stayed up all night thinking, “Can I fix this? It can’t be broken. It just can’t be. They’ve been together 18 years.” He finally passed out and the only thing he remembered as he passed out was all threes on his alarm clock.
He had another nightmare that night. He didn’t remember it but his pillow was soaked from his salty tears so he could tell. He was still groggy for his lack of sleep and looked at his clock. “6:40,” he said in a freaked out voice, “Crap! The bus will be here in five minutes and I’m nowhere near ready.” He quickly got up and threw on some cloths and raced to the bus stop. RIght as he got there the bus pulled in and he had a sigh of relief.
He had a long day at school, he didn’t talk a lot or show that he was even listening. He just went through the day helplessly. Tom picked him up from school that day because he wanted to talk to him personally before he talked to the rest of the kids. “I’m really sorry about this. I wish it could be any other way but this is how it has to be,” Tom in a stern voice.
“It’s fine. I understand,” Brody said in a flat voice, then started saying another sentence but stopped before he could even get the first word out.
“Okay. Good. I hope that you can forgive me eventually.”
“I forgive you.”
“Good.”
After that it was a quiet ride home. Tom just stared forward at the road and Brody looked at his shoes the entire ride. When they finally arrived back at the house, which to Brody no longer felt like home, they went inside so Tom could talk to the kids. Tom then said, “Guys, please sit so I can talk to you.” Everyone sat down and he continued. “Me and your mom have decided that it was best that I moved out and we got a divorce.”
Everyone was quiet at first. Then Harold shouted out, “NO! You can’t move out. You live here. You’re our dad.”
Tom said, “I know but we’ve decided this is the best.”
Brody looked over at his mom and could tell she didn’t want this at all and he knew she tried her hardest to keep this from happening.
“No, Daddy, you can’t just leave! You live here! This is your house! You live here!” cried Casey.
“I know, I know, but I need to move out.”
“NO!” both Harold and Casey yelled.
Alex just sat there crying. He didn’t say anything, just sat there crying. Brody was sitting there watching all of this happen. Watching his family get split apart. Watching the world of all of his siblings get crushed. Listening to all of the cries and yelling... he just couldn’t handle it. He thought about suicide a couple of times but he couldn’t do that to his mom; she already lost so much. He would have to just live his life knowing that nothing is ever going to be the same and even if its written in stone it still doesn’t mean it will last forever. Brody had to live with the knowledge that his dad left his mom for someone that is almost the same age as him.
Three years later his dad got remarried with his mistress and Brody was one of the groomsmen. He had to sit through his dad’s second wedding, which was hard enough. What made it harder was he was the ringbearer for Tom’s first wedding. He sat there during the toasts and the first dancing, thinking, “This isn’t going to last. She’ll get old and he’ll go and find a younger one. He can’t keep a commitment with his first wife; why would he keep one with this one? Once a cheater always a cheater.”