Wanting to run away from my reality

Wanting to run away from my reality(Yarto Bleah) I've lost the sense of feeling ever since I was enveloped by the people I thought loved me. When they smile at me, shed a tear for me, or vociferate at me I feel nothing. Is it because I've lost touch with this world? or is it because I know all of it was fake, from their head to toe. So many times I've cried for their help but all their ignorance and lack of acknowledgement of me overpowered me until I became the boy who cried wolf. Everything I said they assumed it was lie, they'd turn their heads around before even listening to me. Have I become a nuisance and a burden to my comrades and family? The tiniest squeak I made, made them rage with anger, hitting me and verbal violence I was not excepting. I told myself to ignore it, convinced myself it was a phase in life everyone went through until I read a paper my "friends" wrote and passed around school saying I was a "stupid fag" and that it would be better if I would die. So I ran, not thinking or telling others, and took all my emotions and left them hidden never to be opened. I then closed my eyes and imagined a world of peace and love. I felt like I belonged there. no longer was I facing society, I was facing all the love I was devouring and absorbing in my imagination. All of this imagining caused me to be weird in society's eyes, kids laughed at me and made fun of me so I kept running trying to escape my reality.