Wormhole(Paul Butters) What...?

Walking down a dreary suburban British street, on a cold wet day, I suddenly saw a swirling “tunnel” heading straight towards me. Before I knew it I was flying through the air. Lights flashing everywhere. Whoosh!

Then I was sprawled out on… sand! What’s happened? I pushed myself up and clambered to my feet. Palm trees! Jungle. Long curving beach. Sea. Blue sky with fluffy white clouds. High, snow-capped mountains in the far distance beyond the trees. A breathtakingly beautiful tropical scene. Where had boring Britain gone?

That was a wormhole or something I just went through. Like science fiction. OMG.
What’s this hanging round my neck? It looked like a diamond. Okay. The rest of my clothes? All present and correct, if roughed up a little. I’ll keep the gemstone, wherever it might have come from. Best go with the flow. Let’s find some help.

Straight away I searched my pockets and found my mobile phone. It was undamaged from my tumble so I dialled some numbers. No signal. Definitely no signal.

Why am I not surprised. Better go find someone.

So I pointed myself towards a random gap in the jungle and began to walk towards it. Sea waves made surging sounds behind me. Birdsong greeted me up ahead. Soon I was pushing through some trees. Thankfully the jungle wall gave way to a tropical parkland.

Then a thought occurred to me. What if I need to find my way back to where I started? So I returned to the scrapings on the beach that my body had left. Near the tree-line I found some large pebbles, which I used to build a mini-monument where I’d landed.

Satisfied with my work, I returned to that parkland. As I made my way between lots of woods dotted everywhere, I noticed some brightly flowering shrubs and approached them. Such enormous flowers! All sorts of colours. Amazing. And flying amongst them… OMG! Enormous bumble bees! I crept up towards those shrubs as much as I dared. Sure enough each of those bees was about a yard in diameter. My biggest phobia in its biggest ever form. Only consolation: they were not wasps.

But then I noticed something else. Through a gap in the shrubs and trees I could see another gap, in those mountains. And not far above the horizon was… another sun! It was surrounded by red clouds and was either dawning or setting. This sun was smaller than the “main” sun, which I could feel beating on my back.

OMG this isn’t Earth. Help! In panic I dashed back to the beach. Then I made myself sit down on a convenient rock.

Think Paul, think.

I thought. Then I tried a change of tack: I set off walking along the beach. Any sign of bees and I’ll turn back and try the other way. Or walk next to the sea, away from danger.

So off I went on a long walk. How am I going to get out of this one?
After quite a long while I saw a massive headland up ahead, which gave me a definite target. Hopefully there would be some sign of civilisation around the corner. It reminded me of “Planet of the Apes” where they found the “Statue of Liberty” on the seafront.

Round that headland I went. Houses! A town. A seaport. Once I had a decent view of that port I sat on a rock and pondered. Would it be safe to go there? Clearly it would be populated by aliens. Would they be friendly?

Did I have any option but to go there? No. I steeled myself and carried on.
People.

I approached a group of aliens. They were playing beach volleyball by the look of it. Some men but mainly girls. Light brown skin. Laughing and shouting.
They’ve seen me.

The group came nearer as I kept walking forward. They had mottled skins and strange markings on their ears and noses.

Like Star Trek.

They stopped and stared. I did likewise.

They won’t understand me but I’ll have to try to communicate.

I opened my arms wide and whined: “I come in peace. From another land. Please, I need you help.”

OMG that bauble round my neck just flashed and glowed!

They all looked astonished. Then, one by one these aliens prostrated themselves on the sand before me.

One of them spoke: “Greetings my Lord. We are at your service. What would you bid us do?”

English! Can’t be. That bloody gemstone is still flashing. It must be some sort of translator.

No time to argue with myself about that. Must reply.

Me: “I’d like to see your town over there, if that’s okay.”

Alien Leader: “We will escort you immediately My Lord.”

I was beginning to get stage fright. The group of “volleyball” players led me between alleyway after alleyway of market stalls, backed by Medieval-looking dwellings. We had entered the “citadel” that I’d spotted from afar. It was not a vast city. Just about all of it was protected by a modest wall. As we strolled by, everyone stopped and stared. Some even waved excitedly at us.

Up a small hill, however, we soon encountered a royal-looking castle cum palace. The place was evidently surrounded by spacious gardens. Inevitably they led me through a courtyard and along some palace corridors. Now we were surrounded by soldiers. No guns in view, just spears and swords.
The main hall.

We passed through a crowd of courtiers towards a line of six thrones.
King and Queen in the centre, three princesses and a prince to either side. Better bow when we reach them.

Here we are. Better bow n…

To my astonishment all six royals stood from their thrones and prostrated themselves before me. I was shocked. Okay, so ordinary beach revellers had behaved like this, but royalty? All the courtiers supplicated themselves before me too, which made some sense.

As soon as I had composed myself I half-coughed, “As you were please. At ease!”

They obeyed without question. The king made the introductions. He was called Sandron IV and his Queen was Eredria. Their children were Prince Heddron and Princesses Beaurra, Angellogan and Chloema. Their nation was named “Erradia”. The King wished me a good stay with them. My accommodations were already prepared. I informed him my name was Paul. Then the king paused and looked around.

King: “As you probably know My Lord, your arrival here is most timely. Isn’t that right my love?”

He turned to his wife with a prompting nod.

Queen: “Yes My Lord. It certainly is. Only today our long range scouts informed us that our mortal enemies, The Putoffs have a vast army encamped just beyond our borders, ready to invade. But now we can send them a messenger, who will tell them that if they dare cross our border, you will smite them.”

I gulped.

You’re in it way over your head now Paul. Could outbox about three of these weedy people, but an army? No way. Better not admit my limitations though: things could be much worse if I do. Let’s play along for now and see if I can wangle my way out of this.

I nodded firmly at The Queen. That way I didn’t say anything that I might regret.

The King said something about me being one of a long line of “gods” who had visited and helped these people for hundreds of years. He said some other things too but my mind was elsewhere. Escape was top of my agenda now, at least before that army turned up.

Presently The King announced that the young prince was to be my “Companion” throughout my stay. (Heddron looked about eighteen years old).

But this prompted Heddron to address me loudly.
Heddron: “My Lord, where is your ring?”
Me: “Ring?”
Heddron: “Yes, every god I’ve met has had a ring. You have a Universal Translator round your neck…”
Impulsively I felt in my pockets. Mobile, keys, hanky, RING!
Heddron: “This is your first visit, isn’t it My Lord?”
Me: “Well, er, yes.”
Heddron: “Okay. First you must place it on your right forefinger. But you must keep your left hand over that finger.”
Me: “Why?”
Heddron: “Please trust me Sir. You must keep that finger covered.”
Me: “Okay.”
So, I pushed on the ring (it was a tight fit) and looked at him.
Heddron: “Right, clench your right fist so that your forefinger is covered by your hand. Good. (He had assumed an air of authority by now). Now flick your ring-finger open so that it points at that shield there.”

The far wall was decorated with a variety of shields.

I did as he instructed. Flick. Boom! That shield disintegrated in the midst of a bright explosion. A detonation caused by a lightning bolt that flashed from my own forefinger.

OMG
Before I could recover my thoughts there was a great fanfare.
Announcer: “A delegation from the Putoffs is here Your Majesties!”
Soon six Putoff dignitaries stood to my left, facing those thrones. Formal introductions were made. Then Heddron stood up.

Heddron (to the Putoffs): “Your Eminencies. Before we go any further, let me introduce you to our new god, Paul.”

The Putoffs turned to me in horror. Their thoughts were quite transparent…
Heddron: “My Lord, would you like to show our guests what you can do? I suggest THAT small table just there.”

I sensed this was important. Again I flicked out that finger.
BOOM!
Part of me enjoyed that.

Soon the Putoffs made their excuses and left, to tell their King the “Good News” about my arrival here.
Everyone danced about in glee. Royal formality was cast aside in celebration.
But then something weird happened. Right through the palace ceiling came another wormhole! I was helpless as it swooped down on me and sucked me, into oblivion.

Not for long thank goodness. For soon I was lowered….back into the street from which I’d departed.

“I’ll have those please,” instructed a male voice rather matter-of-factly.
There in front of me was a smart young man in a business suit.

Man: “Your ring and translator please. Mission over.”
I handed them over, feeling myself shaking now.
Man: “I’m Korrell, your Commander. Well done. That was a good first mission.”
Me: “FIRST mission?”
Korrell: “Oh yes. You handled it very nicely and averted a great deal of bloodshed there. But don’t worry, when we need your assistance again, you’ll be the first to know.”

At this point a car horn blared just behind me. I was in the way of a car! Off it went, the driver looking angry.

I turned back round. Korrell was gone.


Paul Butters


© PB 19\7\2014 in Yorkshire.

(My Word Version of this has my thoughts in italics. Please bear that in mind).

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