Raising Awareness(Perry McDaid) The speaker had all the traits of a professional seminar host, an enthusiastic but patronising bore.

‘Remember the mantra,’ she fussed, using an outrageously expensive pointer to tap the chalked word “BREATHE”. ‘Gather yourselves calmly to…?" She singled out the YSA cell next to us, shifting indicator to the next printed word “REALISE”.

"Realise our potential," the cell grudgingly chimed.

“EAT” was the next word in the block capital list. Another cell was required to respond.

‘Eat that sugar.’

She frowned at their facetious enthusiasm, before slapping at the next word. ‘ACTIVATE.’ She managed to pronounce it in capitals. ‘Fulfill your potential. Make that dough expand.’ She paused. ‘How do we do that?’

‘DEFECATE.’ Laughingly, we all shared that roar.

’Right," she confirmed with a smile, "and the humans will eat it up. What's the mantra again?"

‘BREAD SPREADS THE SPECIES,’ roared the Yeast Seminar Attendees, as they poured out of the acoustically sound container onto a sweaty human palm and on to their destiny.

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