My Untold Story

My Untold Story(Rich Puckett) I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Ok not the very beginning because that would serve no point in this story. It was almost to the end of my junior year of high school. I had always worked each summer someplace; the problem was that I needed too make more money then in the past. Senior year costs a lot of money and my parents made it plain they would not be able to afford the stuff like a class ring, and pictures and all those things.

I knew I wanted those items and I needed a better car, right now I was happy with my old Plymouth Valiant but going into my senior year I wanted a nicer car. So I started looking for a job. I was surprised when Mom came to me and said she had wrote my Aunt and Uncle and that he had a job for me at the saw mill if I could get out of school a month early. The biggest surprise was the amount of money. I would be making sixteen dollars an hour, which in 1972 was a lot of money for a guy any age. I went straight to the school principal and got it approved. After all my grades were very good and I worked part time for the school, which I think gave me a bit of an edge.

A month before the school year ended I was on my way to Arkansas. The living arrangement were a bit tight, I slept on the living room couch and no air conditioning so it was hot as could be, don't know if hell could be much hotter. The job had me working second shift in the stud mill (that means making 2x4 for building houses). I did whatever job needed to be done, and it was hard work and long hours, sometimes ten to twelve hours each day. Sunday nights I got off work and sometimes on Saturday nights.

This story begins about a month after I had started working and it was Saturday night. My cousin, Randy, and I walked up to the local grill. The town was very small and only had two gas stations, a grill and one grocery store. The only real place to work was the sawmill and almost everyone in town worked there. The nearest movie house or other places to have fun was Little Rock and that was an hour drive, so it was a bit far for walking. The grills stayed open until ten on weekends and rest the week it closed by nine. The girl who worked the counter and two tables and she ran the gril on weekends was in my book the prettiest in town. The only problem was I was seventeen and she was twenty and already had a baby. She sort of looked at me as being a kid but was nice so when not working Randy and I would head here just to see her in that tight top she always wore and wait for her to bend over, I mean we may have been young but I think it's a bit natural for a boy of our ages to be thrilled to watch those old faded blue jeans pull tight against that curvy backside.

This night we ate three burgers each and fires, I flirted with her and she would flirt back even though I know it was because she was only enjoying the game. I noticed a big box of cigars behind the counter. I decided to buy the whole box and after a bit of cross fire between Randy and myself got him to agree to a cigar-smoking contest. The cigars were cheap, King Edwards; it was years before I learned that a good cigar cost more then a dime each and the difference in taste.

Why do guys do these kinds of dumb things, you probably ask? I can't say I know the reason in most cases but for us it had to do with two things. Being bored with nothing else to do, and more important I thought It would somehow make me look older to this girl at the grill. I have no ideal why then that was important to me, because even then I sure was not ready to raise some other guy's baby, or take on a wife and all that goes with it. And those that know me might be surprised to hear I was not trying to find a way to get into her pants either. If she had of offered something like that I would have ran as far and fast as I could. Though I liked to talk like a man with loads of experience and know how, I didn't know a thing about sex.

When the grill closed I took the box underarm and we headed for the train tracks on the outer road leading out of town. Randy was really concerned about his Mom and Dad being upset with us, but I told him time we got in they would be in bed asleep and wouldn't notice a thing. If by some chance they smelled the smoke just blame it all on me and I would take the all the responsibility.

When we reached the train tracks we started walking up the tracks away from town and deeper into the woods. I had already smoked two cigars and Randy was still on his first one. As we walked we did like all boys our age did, talked about girls. I know I was going on about the chick at the grills nipples showing under the top and Randy started telling me some girl in high school he had seen take off her top just before she walked in the girls locker room. I'm sure I was telling some lie about some hot experience I had and building a pretty good line up. By now we were about four miles up the track, and sit down looking at the almost full moon and talking on. The tall tails were fun of sorts and at that age we really didn't notice how hard the rail we sat on was.

I would guess it was about midnight when our lives took a turn that will forever mark our futures and us. Some call it fate, others call it Gods will, and maybe it was just being in the right spot at the right time. All I know the events that started that night have never left my mind and live in my thoughts as if it were yesterday.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I am not sure if you would have asked me what love was I could have answered it with any intelligence. I am sure I would have said something like having a beautiful girl that was fun to be with that you liked so much you didn't want to be with anyone else. A simple enough answer but I have learned in time that being in love is far more. There may not be a reason that you love someone with all your being that you can put your finger on. They may be totally different than you in the things they like to do, eat, places they want to go. Yet some how like a magnet you are drawn too that person, they are beautiful though everyone else thinks they are homely or ugly, you find them exciting and yet they would be dull to anyone else. There is a joy with being close to them even when you disagree you can't bring yourself to be mad. Love is one of those funny tunnels you fall into when you least expect it and when you do you just get so lost that nothing else matters.

Here we were looking at the sky talking about the girls of our pasts and or hopes for tomorrows when we heard laughing. We both looked up at the same time and there on the tracks, right in the middle of the rails was two girls. One was about my age, 17 or 18 with long blond hair and even the moonlight you could see her beautiful smile and the moonlight reflecting in her eyes. The other girl was maybe 15 or 16 and she too had that long blond hair. Here they were walking toward us holding hands and laughing about something only those two will ever know, because no matter how many times I asked, I never got the answer. If you had asked me, do you believe in love at first sight I would have said no way. Now I know different, I could not take my eyes off her, the light blue colored dress blowing gently in the wind, the blond hair some falling over her shoulder like a shawl while some was blowing out to the sides like a nuns cap blowing in the wind. The sound of her silk like voice as it touches me. Even now these many years later my eyes tear up at that voice so soft so touching never has my whole heart been moved in such a way.

I started to jump to my feel and Randy up right beside me, and we both were so lost in this wonderful sight we bumped each other and I fell back on my big butt. Both girls giggled, with such glee and I am sure must of thought what dumb clumsy boy is this. I lost my glasses in the fall backwards and before I could find then a small hand, looking so white in the night-light, small and perfect was handing them to me.

I'll never forget her first words spoken to me as she held those glasses out to me. "I wouldn't want you to loose these, because when you see me close up if you are going to run I want you to do it now and get it over with." I didn't understand that, for my heart was already lost in her, and as I slipped them on all I could do was stutter and say “why would I run from you, when all I want to do is run to you." She laughed so softly and warmly that I found my self-laughing with her.

I looked over at Randy and he was telling the other girl our names and the town we came from and going on like a train with out breaks. I knew then he was as smitten as I was.

I asked her what in the world two beautiful girls were out walking on train tracks this late at night. She said they couldn't sleep and came out almost every night to walk and look at the moon. She went on to tell me they lived off the tracks a few miles up on an old farm and they got lonely. She told me her daddy was a good man but hard man and didn't like idle hands so night was the only time they got for their own. I told her my name and she told me her name was Lins and her sister's name was Jen.

She wanted to know about us, and I was shocked when she took a cigar and lite up and sat and smoked with us. I don't know how long we talked, for time stood still but it was way up into the morning when the cigars were all gone, they told us they had to leave and would we be back there tomorrow night. Of course I said we would, but would it be ok for us to stop by the farm during the day and maybe go fishing with them.

Lins told me right away that to do that would mean we would never get to see each other again. Her daddy would come out with his shotgun and run us off and maybe even shoot us. He didn't want any boys around his girls until they were older and then he would marry them off to a distant cousin because that is how it was in their family. It hurt to turn and walk away from those girls. All Randy could do was talk about Jen and all I wanted to do was talk about Lins.

When we got in everyone was fast asleep and we went right to bed not waking till almost afternoon. I couldn't wait for it to get dark and so soon as I could get away Randy and I headed for the grill. I guess I was more jolly then normal cause the girl wanted to know what had gotten in to the two of us. I think she tried extra hard to get us to look at her body too cause she kept finding reasons to get right in front of us and bend over or come around the counter and brush her boob on my shoulder. I am surprised even now to admit this, but I had no interest in looking at her butt or getting a free feel of her boob. The only thing I could do was keep looking at the clock. Soon as the place closed, off to the tracks we went.

We had walked a while and not a sign of the girls it was darker tonight and I was scared we had walked too far or not far enough. Randy was just as jittery as I was, we finally stopped and sit down and when we were ready to give up and walk some more we heard their voices in the dark coming toward us. They were singing as they walked the song I shall never forget. "A tisk it a task it a red and yellow basket, on the way to grandmas house on the way I lost it, I lost it." And then there they were, this time the dresses were dark in color and the blonde hair seemed like an angels halo to me. I can remember her face right now as if she were sitting here with me as I write. She had those eyes sparkling, the lower lip quivering as she laughed, the teeth so perfect and the touch so warm and light.

We laughed, we played tag, hide and seek, we set up a tin can and threw rocks at it. No one could be happier then we were any where in the world. Life had meaning and each moment only got better. When we would get tired of playing games Lins and I would sit down and talk about a book we both had read, or something about out pasts. I never got tired of hearing her talk and for me to be quiet and listen to someone else was not my usual nature.

Every weekend after that, for the rest of the summer, we would meet and talk and enjoy life together. Sometimes during the week when we could get off work early enough as tired as I was, we would make our way to this place and soon the girls would show up. I never felt tired around them and Randy and I both found a joy that kept us going day after day.

The summer was soon to end, and I got a letter from Mom telling me her and Dad was coming to pick me up in a week. I felt my heart crash, I had not even thought about having to go away from Lins and that was a thought that hurt like a knife in my heart. I went to work and talked to my boss, he told me if I wanted to I could finish high school down there and still work half a shift each night. My Aunt said I could go on living with them and I put a plan together.

I took the day off work and Randy and I rode his little Honda to Little Rock I went to a store and bough a diamond ring. Not a really big one but one that I thought I could afford. The drive back to town seemed too long, I had made up my mind this girl Lins was not going to end up with a cousin but with me.

Soon as we got back to town Randy and I headed down the tracks, with the sun up we knew we would find the farm. For Lins and Jen said it was right off the track. As we searched I wondered how long it had been since a train had used these tracks, in the daylight you could see the rust caked on the rails, and missing spikes.

Randy grabbed my arm, “over there”, I looked I could see it, the top of a house, the path off the track was right there too, though it was filled with tall grass. I remember saying too Randy “wonder if this is the one the girls used” because it was so tall with grass and they always wore a dress.

We found the house, an old two-story house. Not much different then many of the old farmhouses in that part of the country, No paint and the front porch looked worn from age.

I walked to the front door, Randy said maybe this was not the right place, didn't feel right. But the resolve in my heart was at a breaking point and I knocked hard on the door. The door swung open, but no one was standing there, I guessed it was like most folks; no one locked doors in those days. I walked in yelling anyone home.

No answer then Randy was pulling at my arm, I looked around he pointed out the couch was old and dusty as was every other thing in the room. “This house is not the one we want cause no one has lived here for years.”

I felt my heart sink and we started out again looking for the right house, finally we walked to town going straight to the gas station. Gus was very old and knew everyone for miles around. I didn't like him much, he had always been an old crab, right now that didn't matter.

I walked in and asked him as he sits behind his old greasy desk if he knew where the Miller farm was. “Of course I do” he said, “but why do you want to know?” I sit down on a barrel and explained, I had to find Lins and talk to her that I needed to talk to Mr. Miller too.

Gus demanded to know how I knew Lins and her daddy. I was a bit put out, I didn't think it was any of his business but I knew if I wanted to find that farm I had to tell him. He sat and listened as I told him the whole story, stopping me once in a while to ask a question. I saw a change come over Gus as I spoke, he became human, something else too. Maybe it was gentleness or caring or confusion.

“Well son, I have some things to tell you.” I will try to tell this as best as I can as he told Randy and me.

“The Miller farm sits about six miles outside of town but not on any road, you have to get to it from the train tracks. In the old days the farm was quiet the place, nice big house and it grew the most cotton and corn around this parts that's ever been grown. Now see here boys I went to school with Mike Miller, he was always a bit strange and never cottoned up to any of us boys. In those days we only went to sixth grade then on too work on the farm. Mike he took a wife, Carol I think her name was, a cousin from over in Grover, far as I know all those people married in the family. Anyways they had two girls, and I do think their names were Lins and Jen and as I recall they were pretty girls. But now Mike was a hard case and he didn't like those girls talking to no other boys he wouldn't even let them go to school proper.” I stopped him and said, “Why are talking like that, past tense?”

He told me in a kind voice to hush I would understand in a few minutes. “Seems that when the older girl got to be about you boys age she met up with a fellow from the city and wanted to get married. One day Carol came running into town right here in to this station yelling for me to get Sheriff Potter. I went with em out to the place. Oh Mike had shot that boy in the chest right there at the gate and then he had hung both of those girls.”

I started to cry, I couldn't stop, I grabbed Gus, old or not and shook him and told him what kind of lie is he telling me. He and Mike cook this up to keep me away from Lins, I wanted the truth or I would shake him to death. Randy pulled me off, and old Gus sat back down with a plop. He wiped a tear out of his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “No Rickey boy, I don't know what you seen or how it happened but the story is true. Oh Mike after seeing what he had done hung himself in the tree in the back yard. I will never forget holding Carol as she sits and cried. Carol just passed herself about four months ago, she lived with my wife and I ever since that day.”

Still I couldn't believe him and today I still don't know but he got his old jeep out and drove us back to the farm. He took us upstairs and there on the bed was the very dress we had seen them in only a few nights ago. Now dust covered and full of holes.

I walked out and holding the hairpin I picked up off the dresser in the room I could see some of Lin's blonde hair. I hold that pin even now as I tell you my tale, the hair looks the same it did the night I met her. I sat on that old porch swing and cried till I could cry no more. He took us out back to the graves; I looked toward God and begged him to take me right now. How can I live having known such love and it is gone. A ghost, a spirit, a angel I don't care what Lins was, she was warm and full of laughter, her smile melted my heart, and OH God how I long for her now. Forgive me my friends, I must stop and wipe the tears from my eyes.

I have lived these many years, and have never forgotten her kiss, and yes I got marred many years later. As my life grows short I must tell my grandchildren the reason for the sadness that has never left my eyes. Well when you get to my age being crazy is ok; you may not believe a word of this, which too is ok. Facts are as they are, Randy and I still get together ever few years and go to that place on the tracks and pray they will come to us. We never got to see them again. I blame that on me, if I had not gone during the day maybe I would of saw them that night as all the nights before.

It Matters not, my time is about done, and I can feel the smile returning to my eyes for the first time in years.