Jade's Knight(Ian Price) I saw Jade, sitting in the garden, she was clutching a large glass bowl and talking to a fairy. Not any ordinary fairy, it was the dark fairy Stu. He was stroking his long black beard down to his fat gut, trying to seduce Jade with some form of dark magic.

I wasn’t going to stand for that. Even though I had just set eyes on her beautiful face it was my duty as a gallant, brave and somewhat courageous knight to save the gorgeous princess. And ‘wow’ was she gorgeous in her glamorous blue satin gown and a slightly tilted tiara resting on her head. I had to save her! I checked my trusty blade, a little rusty but would suffice. I could see her at the other end of the grand stone courtyard with Stu still casting his evil spell. A lot stood between me and winning her heart but I had to go to her.

The courtyard seemed like a moving labyrinth of monsters and dark knights, old wise wizards and not so wise ogres. I plucked up all the courage that I could muster and attempted to fight my way into the maze. Slowly, I started my journey. I moved past the wizards who seemed too absorbed in their leather bound books to notice. I pushed my way through two ogres who were fighting over food and, luckily, the group of monsters were too intoxicated even to care. The dark knights, however, appeared to know me and came over to engage me in conversation. My quest, though, was far too important to just stand around and natter, so I ignored them and continued on my way.

All that now stood between my beloved and me was a passed out giant who had a bottle of ale in his hand and many bottles smashed around his gigantic, bald body. I tiptoed passed him, accidentally standing on his foot, but the brew seemed to keep him in a deep slumber.

At last I was there! I drew my trusty but rusty blade and shouted ‘leave her be you fat fairy’. He turned to me and with amazing strength managed to knock the sword from my hand. In anger I thumped him to the floor. The labyrinth formed a circle around us as we kicked and punched each other. A dwarf screamed ‘let him ‘ave it stu!’, which was not too reassuring. What happened next was a blur, but the gods must have been on my side because with one lucky punch to the evil fairy’s face I knocked him out cold.

The crowd seemed stunned at first and then screamed my name over and over again. I held my bloodied hand out to princess Jade who was being violently sick into the glass punch bowl. She greeted me with a half smile then took my hand and allowed me to escort her up the near by spiral staircase that led to my room. Once there, I laid her on to the simple wooden bed and magic was cast that night while we made love.

The next morning I reached over to my beloved but she was not there; the empty cotton sheets were still warm. I got up, ran to the window and looked down into the courtyard where she was walking away. I shouted to her, “where you going?”
“I have a lecture,” she replied with a glazed look in her eye. She then smiled, “Great party!”
I grinned back with warmth, and with confidence asked, “You coming next week, it’s Shakespeare?”
She walked a few more steps and looked around to blow me a kiss. “Yeah, I’ll be your Juliet.”

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