insomnia

insomnia(Thelatenightthinker) When the sun goes down you realise just how alone you really are, while everyone else is tucked fast asleep in there semi comfortable beds you lay awake thinking over and over what might have been, what has already happened and what’s to come. It’s hard to fall asleep when you’ve been through so much the fear of closing your eyes just to witness the horror again. Even remembering the smallest detail makes your heart ache. Life never used to be this way i never had trouble falling asleep but i guess when we all grow up we all have our own little problems. I remember when i was younger as soon as my head hit the pillow i was gone, now my head hits the pillow and i just lay there crying. It's strange because i can go throughout the day forgetting about my worries and troubles i can forget my past but as soon as the night appears the memories come flooding back its like im living in a nightmare, one i can’t escape. Its easy to tell yourself that its just the past and the worst of it is done but nows the time you have to pick yourself up and recover though while your laying on your bed trying to control your emotions you find another method it works at first but then it becomes an addiction even though you tell yourself it wrong and your better than this you do it again and again because once you pick up that razor and start cutting faster and deeper you distract yourself from the pain and suffering of the memory of your past.