Daddy’s Little Boy

Daddy’s Little Boy(Bridgett Brule) The tears began to roll down her troubled face. Who would have thought after all the fights they had, that it would take something like this to bring them back together? The past three years in this God forsaken town had taken a toll on their relationship. All the horrible rumors and nasty people had picked apart their friendship to the point of no return. They had grown so far apart that they couldn’t even seem to get along for the three year old in the picture. Some of the reasons they had problems could not be blamed on other people but only their own stubbornness. After all the time and people that had come between them, it was a shame that something this horrific was all that could bring them back together.

Three years earlier, on September second, a baby boy was born to June and Riley. June was only seventeen. In those three years Riley’s attempts to see Mason were very sporadic. June chose not to confront Riley. She lived her life for her son and she was doing just fine on her own. It seemed to her that Riley wasn’t ready to grow up and take full responsibility for their son. After all they were still both very young and hadn’t expected a child. Riley tried but only as much as he could. The years passed, Mason grew, and slowly June and Riley developed a tolerance for each other. Little did they both know the future would bring them all back together, at least for a little while.

“They want to try chemo and a few other things. They say I shouldn’t worry but if chemo doesn’t work, the doc says I have six months to a year to live.” The words slowly rolled off his tongue along with the tears off her face. She had been so cruel and so selfish to keep his son away from him.

“There has to be something. Chemo has worked on other people, so it should work for you too.” She refused to accept it.

He smiled when he looked at her. Only his smile could make her insides turn like that.

“You always did have a lot of faith in me,” he told her with a wink.

“I just want to apologize for all the things I’ve done and all the time you could have had with Mason. I hope you can forgive me,” she pleaded.

“I already have,” he said with a great wide grin and pulled her in for a hug.

As the weeks went on, Riley and June built their relationship back. They laughed, they cried, they talked and they screamed. Pain was always in the back of their minds but they did their best to forget the cancer. Mason fell in love with his daddy all over again and they became inseparable. As time passed they all saw the signs. His hair began to fade and his skin began to pale. Still they refused to let it get them down.

Soon it came time for Riley to undergo chemo. More tears rolled down June’s face. He wiped them away and said to her, “Don’t worry girl. I’m going to be just fine.” And with another wink he was being taken away.

For days she’d take Mason to see Riley in the hospital. It kept his spirits up when he had visitors but nothing made him smile like his little boy. Some days Mason wasn’t allowed to come along. One day he asked his mom as she was leaving to go see Riley, “Where are you going mom?” It broke her heart but she couldn’t take him.

“Well sweetie, daddy’s not feeling good today. He asked me to go see him.” When he heard that his face lit up with joy. “Am I coming too?” he asked. She wanted to take him but Riley wasn’t doing well and Mason was sick. If Riley were to catch any little cold while undergoing chemo it could be fatal.

“Next time babe. Daddy’s not feeling good today and we can’t have him getting your cold now can we?” Mason’s head fell to the floor and June’s heart shattered. “I promise next time Mason. I’ll tell daddy you said hello and when I come back I’ll bring you some ice cream.” Like any three year old this got his spirits back up. “OK,” He said with a smirk.

Still the days went on and the chemo seemed to go nowhere. Soon they sent Riley home with little hope that things would change. Still his head was held high. As long as he had his son he seemed to not have a care in the world about what was going to happen to him. All the while every one else was starting to worry.

One night Riley went out to the porch and found June crying. He wrapped his arms around her tight and held her.

“It’s going to be ok June. I’m still here.”

“I’m scared Riley. I’ve been raising Mason alone and I don’t want to do it again. I need you.” She sobbed. He paused for a minute.

“You’ve already made up for every thing I haven’t taught him. You know what you’re doing and I know you can do it. You already have. I have faith in you and time will help you through it.” She started to sob even harder.

“I don’t want Mason to forget you. He needs the memories he has of you.”

“Then don’t let him forget. Please do that for me. Keep me in his dreams and his memories. Promise me you’ll make sure he always knows who his daddy was.” When she looked into his eyes she saw the tears start to well up.

“I promise Riley. I promise.”

After that night June’s feelings continued to grow even more for Riley. For a while now she had grown to respect him. That night she grew to love him again. She could feel the chemistry coming back, but she knew if she were to pursue things she would only be hurt in the end. She knew Riley was feeling it too but she couldn’t let herself make this any harder than it already was. One night while Mason and she were visiting, Riley told her something she had wanted him to say, but never knew he would. He looked her deep in her eyes, took her hand and said, “I love you June.” Her breath was gone. She knew the day would come when he’d say this but she didn’t know it would be so hard.

“I don’t expect you to say it back June but I just want you to know. It’s important to me that you understand that. I don’t want to make this any harder on you than it is. Just know I love you and if things weren’t the way they were I’d marry you.” She had expected him to say he loved her but she never guessed he wanted to marry her. She wanted to say I love you back but she knew it would only make things worse. Not on him but on her. Oh and the Lord knew that if he really would have asked her to marry him she would have said yes in a heart beat. Whether or not she knew he would be ok she would have answered without even thinking. But the truth was he hadn’t asked and she hadn’t answered. They both knew it would have complicated things beyond what they could handle.

One day the doctors called with some news. There was a new kind of treatment they wanted to try on Riley. There were no guarantees but it was a very highly recommended treatment. The only catch was Riley would have to fly to Germany for the treatment. Germany was a long ways away and the goodbyes would have to be said now.

But everyone had faith that this was it. Everyone was convinced that he would come back home and survive the cancer. June took Mason to see Riley once more before he was leaving. As they were getting ready to head home, Riley showed his first sign of fear for the first time throughout the whole sickness. He tried to hide the tears falling down his face so Mason wouldn’t see.

“I love you Mason. You be a good boy for mommy while daddy’s gone.” He choked out.

“I love you too daddy.” His little boy told him. Tears started streaming faster.

“Are you going to miss daddy?”

“Ya,” Mason said with a smile. Riley hugged him long and hard. A tear rolled down his face as he kissed Mason on his forehead. He looked at June and she started to tear up.

“Don’t do this. Stop crying and be strong for our little boy,” he said holding her head up. She sucked up her tears and nodded her head.

“If anything happens to me you tell my little boy I love him and don’t ever let him forget that. If you ever doubt for one minute that I love you just remember this, without you I wouldn’t have held on this long. I love you June, and I need your faith.”

She needed his faith. She needed someone to believe she could carry on by herself, but she already knew he thought that.

“Ok,” She said. And got in the car and drove off.

The next week was hell. The whole family back at home based their days around a phone call. Some days they’d come and some days they wouldn’t. Riley’s mother had traveled with him for emotional support and to give the news on his prognosis. Everyone was on edge and everyone was scared.

So far all had been going well. Finally it was down to one last treatment. This was the big one. It was all or nothing this time. He went under the knife and there was a fifty/fifty chance he’d wake up. Before Riley went in he made a phone call to June. This would be the hardest one of all.

“There’s half a chance I’ll come out of it.” He told her. They talked for a while and she did her best not to cry. She was very strong and so was he. They talked about old times and made each other laugh. Soon there was silence.

“What’s on your mind, June?” He asked softly. There was a pause and then she spoke.

“You won’t be there to help Mason ride his bike. You won’t be there when he starts his first day of school, or has his first girlfriend, or when he graduates high school. Whenever he accomplishes something, you won’t be there to see.” June said with a sob. Then Riley was quiet for a long while.

“When Mason learns to ride his bike, I’ll be there. When he starts school, I’ll be there. When he graduates high school, I will be there. Whenever Mason accomplishes something it’s me living through him. I am inside him and it will be me in him that pushes him to do those things. I will never be gone June. I will always live on in our son. You can do this on your own and I know you will. Have faith in yourself.” He reassured her.

“I love you June.” Riley told her.

“I love you too.” She said, and they hung up the phone.

The next day June was standing in her kitchen making dinner and she felt a hand brush across her cheek. She felt a strong presence and knew it was Riley. A moment later the phone rang. It was Riley’s mother. He had passed.

She dropped the phone and ran outside to her son. She flung the door open and paused at the sight she saw. She couldn’t breathe. June looked at Mason with a huge smile on his face. He was riding his bike all by himself.



In loving memory of Ryan Matthew Lister