First Love, First Goodbye(imran) So I was sitting there, home alone, on a Friday night, again. How could he do this to me? The guy I loved leave me here, while he goes off to Colorado for hockey. Worst of all, he didn't even tell me he was leaving, I found out from his mother.

Our relationship started that first day of kindergarten, when we were playing red rover. We became best friends and secretly had a crush on the other one, but we never told each other that we did, and so the years went on. From there was first grade, second grade, third grade, all these years of us together, and we were never spilt. We were always together, always best friends. One year I was placed on the same soccer as his sister, and his dad was coach. He didn't live far from me, and I needed a ride every once and a while, oh boy would I get stories out of him in the car. He would tell me how his son would come home and ask him if it was okay if a girl was his best friend, and that girl was me, he later decided that we were going to get married. Boy, did I like that idea. But you know, people grow up and so did he. He would annoy me like crazy, make fun of me, drive me insane, and somehow, I couldn't help myself but fall in love with the crazy boy. It wasn't long till we were in junior high, moving from class to class, growing up. He got a girlfriend, she was new, and pretty. I was jealous, but happy for him, I mean, at least I faked it, how happy can a girl be when the man she loves is dating someone else? I tried to get over it, tried to ignore him, he even introduced me to different boys, but no one else ever caught my eye but him.

He knew me like a book he'd read a million times, knew me inside and out. Three years pass and its eight grade, I figured what the heck its time I let him know I like him, let him know how I feel. Of course being middle school, we did it through friends. He freaked out, he would say, we are to good of friends to ever date. What I didn't get was, if we were friends, wouldn't that help our relationship, apparently he never got that. We graduated and he wrote me a little note telling me how much he would miss me, how much of a friend I was to him, and how nothing would ever be the same without me. At the after party of graduation we slow danced together and hugged a million times. Then he left. He left to public school, so he could play hockey and grow up. Next time I saw him he was all mature, his voice had changed, he had grown up. He wasn't the same boy I knew back in grade school.

I still loved that little boy and now that he was grown up, and acted mature, there was nothing wrong with the world. Except, the point I never saw him, and he moved on to bigger and better things. He didn't want anything to do with my little private school anymore, he didn't want anything to do with me. Somehow, I could see past all those things and love him. I would send him texts and never be replied to and feel that pang of hurt, but still I would love him. He meant the world to me and he never really knew that I guess. Freshman year passed quickly with the little talk I had with him, and the little bit I saw him. Then there was summer, I was actually surprised we texted non-stopped for two weeks talking about anything and everything, except one minor detail. He was leaving. He was going to move to Colorado to play hockey, and his family was staying here. When I found out about this, I had a long discussion with his mom in the car, and I was surprised he hadn't told me himself. It hit me hard, like a bunch of bricks, and there was nothing more that I wanted than to spend every waking moment with him, hugging him, taking in his smell, so that I could always have something to remember him by. The moment I told him I knew, it was awkward, since then we haven't talked. Its been five weeks, and I miss him to death. My life isn't complete unless his around, unless there is some possibility I would run into him, see him, talk to him. All of that taken away so quickly, that I couldn't even say goodbye. I always want him in my life, I always want to be here for him, but he doesn't want me around and I don't understand. All I have to do, all that I can do is hope and pray that he will talk to me, just for a moment so that I can say goodbye.

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