Congratulations !
You have been awarded points.
Thank you for !
- Story Listed as: Fiction For Teens
- Theme: Mystery
- Subject: Action
- Published: 05/15/2023
A Shatter in the Dark (Full)
Born 2006, F, from Dallas, TX, United StatesAlone in her room, lights out, eyes shut, then crash! She races down the stairs and sees that her kitchen window was shot at and glass was shattered on the ground! “I got to call 911,” she thought. She dials 911 “Hello 911 what's your emergency?” said the person on the other side. "Help, my house was just shot at, and broke my kitchen window!” “Alright, Miss please stay calm what's your address and your name?” “Lizzy, Lizzy James, and my address is ********” “All right police are on the way.” *Click* and the other line went silent. Well, I guess I'm just going to wait for the police now.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU GRAB THE GIRL?” “I'm sorry boss I had to get out of there quick she heard me.” “TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME!” “Yes, boss”
She looked out her window and saw red and blue lights flashing, “That must be the police, I'll go talk to them. “Hello, are you Lizzy?” “Yes, that would be me.” “Can you tell us everything that happened?” “Sure, so basically I was sleeping, and heard a loud crash, so I ran downstairs and saw that my kitchen window was broken. I immediately grabbed my phone and called you guys. I found this on the floor of my kitchen (She gives him a glove with his dried-up blood on it) “ Thank you so much, this can help us find the person who is responsible for this attack,” with that they left.
Lizzy woke up to birds singing and the sun shining, the time was 9:45 a.m. “Time to go to work she said to herself. 30 minutes later she arrived at Ciccio Trattoria and went straight to the back to get her uniform on and start serving customers. “Hello, what can I get you guys today?” “We would like lasagna and Cacio de Pepe” “Is that all?” “Yes” “Okay, your food will be out shortly!” “That was the girl that called the cops last night, now we know where she works,” said the man when she left. 30 minutes later “Here are your orders Hope you enjoy!” 5 hrs. later “Finally I'm done what a shift.” “That was the busiest I've ever been,” said Cami Lizzy's friend “Yea, can I tell you something crazy?” “Oc” “So in the middle of the night last night I heard a crash and someone broke my kitchen window.” “OMG, really?” “ Yea, so I called the cops, and gave them evidence because I found a glove with dried-up blood, which is perfect for DNA! Can I stay at your place tonight?” “Anytime girl” “Thank you” “Np”
Lizzy drives back home to pack her stuff to go to Cammy’s house! “NOW,” people rush in and kidnap Lizzy! “Hey, what’s going on?” asked Lizzy “That’s for us to know and you to never find out.” When Lizzy woke she was in a room and tied up against a chair! “Where am I?” she thought just then she heard footsteps. “Ah, you’re finally awake!” “Who are you?” “Oh, honey that’s something I can’t tell you,” said the stranger “Take her to her room” “Yes, sir!” “Let’s go, Miss.” She leads Lizzy thru a secret, dark, & dusty passageway. “Go, I called a friend he should be there waiting for you!” “Will you be okay? “Yes” With that, the lady disappeared into the passageway. Lizzy opens the door to see a Corvette and a hot guy waiting for her. “Hop in.” “Um…okay” Lizzy gets in the Corvette and they speed off. Meanwhile on the other hand the lady is getting a whole lecture about not letting people use the restroom until they get into their rooms. “Who were those people? The people who kidnapped me.” asked Lizzy “They are people who you don’t want to mess with.” “Why?” “Let’s just say that they can ruin your life.” said the guy “Oh, they’re that powerful?” asked Lizzy “Yea, anyways we are here at the safe house, I’ll check on you tomorrow. Gn” “Night” Lizzy walks into the safe house, gets changed, & goes to sleep. The next morning she gets woken up by a maid. “Miss, you need to get ready.” “Ok…” said Lizzy. Lizzy walks into the huge walk-in closet, & picks out a t-shirt and leggings with wedges on. “Hey, you look great. Sorry, I didn't get to introduce myself last night. My name is Liam.” “Mine is Lizzy, a pleasure to meet you!” “You too.” “Can you drive me to my school?” “Yea, sure, let's go.” Lizzy and Liam go to the school and Liam drops Lizzy off.
“We need to find her, she has the code that we need!” said the man “Yes, sir I’ll do some investigations!”
Heyyyyyy girlllll!” said Lizzy’s friend Emilie. “Heyyyyy,” replied Lizzy. “How was your weekend?” asked Emilie. “It was okay, I got kidnapped.” “What? You’re joking “Nope!” *The bell rings for the end of the school day* “Bye,” said Lizzyas she was walking towards LIam’s car. “Hey, how was school?” asked Liam “It was good. I saw my friend and told her what happened,” Lizzy replied. Suddenly Liam’s phone rang. “Hello, uh-huh, yea, we’ll be there in 30 minutes, K bye.” “Who was that?” Lizzy asked, “We gotta go, fasten your seatbelt.” Off they went “Here we are,” Liam said. They arrived at a mansion and two people were waiting for them outside. “Hello, Lizzy & Liam, we were expecting you. Come inside.” Lizzy and Liam gave each other glances of uncertainty but followed the people inside. “So, we noticed that you Lizzy were kidnapped last week. Am I right?” asked the stranger “How…how do you know that?” Lizzy asked suspiciously “We are always watching, and always looking out for you and you’re friends. ”Here we are.” *They knock on the office door* “Come in,” said a lady “Ah, Lizzy welcome.” “Who are you?” asked Lizzy “Why I’m your mother,” said the lady “I have no mom. She left me and I grew up in an orphanage and left when I was 18.” Lizzy said while fuming
“I was that person that left you. I had to leave you, because of problems with your father.” Lauren replied “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. Let’s go, Liam.” Lizzy said. “Right, behind you,” Liam said. “Alissa, wait!” Lizzy turned on her heels. “How do you know my real name?” Lizzy asked.“I told you, I named you when you were born.” Lauren Replied. “Why did you leave me then?” Lizzy asked “I told you you’re dad was like it’s me or the baby, and I, unfortunately, chose him. About a year ago he passed and I came looking for you.” Lauren said. “Oh. Well, how did you find me though?” Lizzy asked. “I may have been stalking and found your social media accts.” ”Wait, what? YOU WERE STALKING ME?” Lizzy asked shocked ”Yea, how else was I supposed to find you?” Lauren replied “You are in serious danger, my dear. You know that necklace that you have around your neck?” “Yea? What’s wrong?” Lizzy asked while playing with it on her neck. “Well, there is a key on it, and that key is to a safe with a bunch of money in it.” Lauren said. “Oh really?” Lizzy asked “Yes, and let me show you where the safe is.” Lauren said. “Follow me.” They get in a black SUV with tinted windows, and an hour later they arrive at Lizzy’s house. ¨What are we doing at my house?¨ Lizzy asked ¨Well, I´ll show you.¨
Susan replied Lizzy and Liam followed her into the attic and Lizzy gave Lauren her necklace. She then proceeded to put the necklace in the keyhole to the safe, and then the safe revealed to show millions of dollars. “OMG, WOW! I never knew what my necklace could do. Lauren takes out the money and puts it in a duffel bag, then proceeds to take a gun out of her pocket, and shoots Lizzy in the chest, and Liam in the head, then flees into the night.
“Here’s the money boss… she’s all taken care of.” he said "Amazing, now let's find our next target"
A Shatter in the Dark (Full)(Aidyn Warner)
Alone in her room, lights out, eyes shut, then crash! She races down the stairs and sees that her kitchen window was shot at and glass was shattered on the ground! “I got to call 911,” she thought. She dials 911 “Hello 911 what's your emergency?” said the person on the other side. "Help, my house was just shot at, and broke my kitchen window!” “Alright, Miss please stay calm what's your address and your name?” “Lizzy, Lizzy James, and my address is ********” “All right police are on the way.” *Click* and the other line went silent. Well, I guess I'm just going to wait for the police now.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU GRAB THE GIRL?” “I'm sorry boss I had to get out of there quick she heard me.” “TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME!” “Yes, boss”
She looked out her window and saw red and blue lights flashing, “That must be the police, I'll go talk to them. “Hello, are you Lizzy?” “Yes, that would be me.” “Can you tell us everything that happened?” “Sure, so basically I was sleeping, and heard a loud crash, so I ran downstairs and saw that my kitchen window was broken. I immediately grabbed my phone and called you guys. I found this on the floor of my kitchen (She gives him a glove with his dried-up blood on it) “ Thank you so much, this can help us find the person who is responsible for this attack,” with that they left.
Lizzy woke up to birds singing and the sun shining, the time was 9:45 a.m. “Time to go to work she said to herself. 30 minutes later she arrived at Ciccio Trattoria and went straight to the back to get her uniform on and start serving customers. “Hello, what can I get you guys today?” “We would like lasagna and Cacio de Pepe” “Is that all?” “Yes” “Okay, your food will be out shortly!” “That was the girl that called the cops last night, now we know where she works,” said the man when she left. 30 minutes later “Here are your orders Hope you enjoy!” 5 hrs. later “Finally I'm done what a shift.” “That was the busiest I've ever been,” said Cami Lizzy's friend “Yea, can I tell you something crazy?” “Oc” “So in the middle of the night last night I heard a crash and someone broke my kitchen window.” “OMG, really?” “ Yea, so I called the cops, and gave them evidence because I found a glove with dried-up blood, which is perfect for DNA! Can I stay at your place tonight?” “Anytime girl” “Thank you” “Np”
Lizzy drives back home to pack her stuff to go to Cammy’s house! “NOW,” people rush in and kidnap Lizzy! “Hey, what’s going on?” asked Lizzy “That’s for us to know and you to never find out.” When Lizzy woke she was in a room and tied up against a chair! “Where am I?” she thought just then she heard footsteps. “Ah, you’re finally awake!” “Who are you?” “Oh, honey that’s something I can’t tell you,” said the stranger “Take her to her room” “Yes, sir!” “Let’s go, Miss.” She leads Lizzy thru a secret, dark, & dusty passageway. “Go, I called a friend he should be there waiting for you!” “Will you be okay? “Yes” With that, the lady disappeared into the passageway. Lizzy opens the door to see a Corvette and a hot guy waiting for her. “Hop in.” “Um…okay” Lizzy gets in the Corvette and they speed off. Meanwhile on the other hand the lady is getting a whole lecture about not letting people use the restroom until they get into their rooms. “Who were those people? The people who kidnapped me.” asked Lizzy “They are people who you don’t want to mess with.” “Why?” “Let’s just say that they can ruin your life.” said the guy “Oh, they’re that powerful?” asked Lizzy “Yea, anyways we are here at the safe house, I’ll check on you tomorrow. Gn” “Night” Lizzy walks into the safe house, gets changed, & goes to sleep. The next morning she gets woken up by a maid. “Miss, you need to get ready.” “Ok…” said Lizzy. Lizzy walks into the huge walk-in closet, & picks out a t-shirt and leggings with wedges on. “Hey, you look great. Sorry, I didn't get to introduce myself last night. My name is Liam.” “Mine is Lizzy, a pleasure to meet you!” “You too.” “Can you drive me to my school?” “Yea, sure, let's go.” Lizzy and Liam go to the school and Liam drops Lizzy off.
“We need to find her, she has the code that we need!” said the man “Yes, sir I’ll do some investigations!”
Heyyyyyy girlllll!” said Lizzy’s friend Emilie. “Heyyyyy,” replied Lizzy. “How was your weekend?” asked Emilie. “It was okay, I got kidnapped.” “What? You’re joking “Nope!” *The bell rings for the end of the school day* “Bye,” said Lizzyas she was walking towards LIam’s car. “Hey, how was school?” asked Liam “It was good. I saw my friend and told her what happened,” Lizzy replied. Suddenly Liam’s phone rang. “Hello, uh-huh, yea, we’ll be there in 30 minutes, K bye.” “Who was that?” Lizzy asked, “We gotta go, fasten your seatbelt.” Off they went “Here we are,” Liam said. They arrived at a mansion and two people were waiting for them outside. “Hello, Lizzy & Liam, we were expecting you. Come inside.” Lizzy and Liam gave each other glances of uncertainty but followed the people inside. “So, we noticed that you Lizzy were kidnapped last week. Am I right?” asked the stranger “How…how do you know that?” Lizzy asked suspiciously “We are always watching, and always looking out for you and you’re friends. ”Here we are.” *They knock on the office door* “Come in,” said a lady “Ah, Lizzy welcome.” “Who are you?” asked Lizzy “Why I’m your mother,” said the lady “I have no mom. She left me and I grew up in an orphanage and left when I was 18.” Lizzy said while fuming
“I was that person that left you. I had to leave you, because of problems with your father.” Lauren replied “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. Let’s go, Liam.” Lizzy said. “Right, behind you,” Liam said. “Alissa, wait!” Lizzy turned on her heels. “How do you know my real name?” Lizzy asked.“I told you, I named you when you were born.” Lauren Replied. “Why did you leave me then?” Lizzy asked “I told you you’re dad was like it’s me or the baby, and I, unfortunately, chose him. About a year ago he passed and I came looking for you.” Lauren said. “Oh. Well, how did you find me though?” Lizzy asked. “I may have been stalking and found your social media accts.” ”Wait, what? YOU WERE STALKING ME?” Lizzy asked shocked ”Yea, how else was I supposed to find you?” Lauren replied “You are in serious danger, my dear. You know that necklace that you have around your neck?” “Yea? What’s wrong?” Lizzy asked while playing with it on her neck. “Well, there is a key on it, and that key is to a safe with a bunch of money in it.” Lauren said. “Oh really?” Lizzy asked “Yes, and let me show you where the safe is.” Lauren said. “Follow me.” They get in a black SUV with tinted windows, and an hour later they arrive at Lizzy’s house. ¨What are we doing at my house?¨ Lizzy asked ¨Well, I´ll show you.¨
Susan replied Lizzy and Liam followed her into the attic and Lizzy gave Lauren her necklace. She then proceeded to put the necklace in the keyhole to the safe, and then the safe revealed to show millions of dollars. “OMG, WOW! I never knew what my necklace could do. Lauren takes out the money and puts it in a duffel bag, then proceeds to take a gun out of her pocket, and shoots Lizzy in the chest, and Liam in the head, then flees into the night.
“Here’s the money boss… she’s all taken care of.” he said "Amazing, now let's find our next target"
- Share this story on
- 6
Lillian Kazmierczak
05/18/2023What a sad ending to that story. You are a good writer, but the story was difficult to read. You need to seperate the dilogue and paragraphs to mak your stories easier for your readers. I look forward to your next story!
Reply
COMMENTS (1)