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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Action & Adventure
- Subject: Adventure
- Published: 11/13/2010
Pirates Stories
Born 1956, M, from Windsor Ontario, CanadaWe had been in Grand Cayman for two weeks now. It all seemed like a dream. It was only a short 14 days ago that Kim and I were told, no more fun! It's time to make some money! We had just spent two weeks in Ocho Rios Jamaica. We had sailed into Ochi harbour from a long crazy cruise from Ft. Lauderdale. All through the Bahamas, Bimmini, Nassau, the Exumas. Kim and I were on a mission. Kim was twenty one years old. A sexy, harley riding stripper. She had never left Florida when I asked her to sail to Jamaica with me. She was ready and willing. The ride to Jamaica was a customised fortyseven foot Hardin Seawolf ketch and her name was the Ida. What I mean by customised, is that walls were hollowed out, waiting for some of Jamaicas best. We had loaded off Runaway Bay Jamaica. We had left Ochi Harbour and headed down the coast that afternoon. After the sunset, we watched for the flashlights on shore.R ight on time there they were. We did our little signal back and forth and here they came. They weren't zodiacs or boston whaler's that's for sure. They were little wooden dugouts with outboards. The boats were just overflowing with packages. We had measured the space and the size that the packages would have to be while in Ochi. The boys went a little overboard tho'. Kim was the only one small enough to fit in the wall. The opening was small so as not to be found. It matched to a tee. No one could find it once it was closed. The boys tossed up and I tossed down. Kim worked her way out of the wall and stacked bricks as she went. After all was said and done the boys headed back to shore and we set sail. We ended up with two packages left over that would not fit. Our next stop, Grand Cayman.
I had gone to Grand Cayman when I was sixteen. I loved scuba diving with a passion. I got my first tank when I was twelve. It was an old converted fire extinguisher converted to a dive tank. Big fat double regulator. I looked like Loyd Bridges in Sea Hunt. I was hooked though. When I made that first trip to Grand Cayman I had all the new stuff. None of my scuba buddies wanted to go, so I went on my own. Two weeks on Rum Point with tanks and a spear gun. No real resorts back then. I had a cottage with a barrier reef out back. Dominos at night, after the owner and his wife cooked up my days catch. Enough for the neighbors even. So I got to know Rum Point.
The next year three other buddies went with. Kim and I spotted Grand Cayman late that afternoon. I could have sailed around to George Town, with the easy sail from Jamaica and a dozen red stripes under my belt, let alone all the mango pits and jerk chicken bones leaving a trail the whole way. I decided to test my memory. I'm old now and it's still o.k., but it's been road hard. I dropped the sails and motored along the coast. I knew they were out there somewhere. Two skinny rusted metal rods showing the entrance into north sound. The home of Stingray City. I think Kim spotted them first. Thank God for a healthy young girls with great eyes.`We were in Grand Cayman now. I motored as close to Rum Point as possible, tossed out the anchors and headed to shore. When I had gone scuba diving with my schools chums, we stayed at the Cayman Kai hotel. I knew it was close to the point. Kim and I took the zodiac to shore and walked down. I explained that I needed to clear customs and would they call for me. They freeked! They couldn't believe that a tourist had brought a fortyseven foot sailboat drawing six and a half feet of water into the sound. Let alone that close to shore. We were sent back to the Ida to await customs. I still had those two packages of ganga that wouldn't fit. I decided to cut them open and toss them overboard. The wind was blowing from the east. I figured it would drift to the west in north sound. It's huge. My radio conversations aroused the interest of the Cayman police boat tho'. It was coming from the western side of the sound, off course. It's dark and the police are asking me to put on my mast lights. They are running their spotlights back and forth as they head my way. I'm sure just to look out for the rocks, but that's not my concern. I'm afraid they are going to stumble on the floating weed and I'm done. When the customs man showed up in a little Boston whaler with a guy from the yaught club skippering, I relaxed. I showed him the police lights and he got on the radio and took control. They shut off their lights and headed back home. What a relief. We got a clean bill of health, boat and all. I turned over my firearms. A 357 magnum pistol and my speargun grip stainless steal ithaca twelve gauge. He really liked the shotgun. We locked up and all left at the same time. Kim and I walked back to the Cayman Kai and rented a cottage. We had two weeks of Cayman fun ahead of us. I was in no hurry to head right back to Florida.
I knew the DEA had taken interest in us in Jamaica. I was trying to play the tourist. We rented a car and toured the island. After a couple of days it was requested that I bring her around to Goerge Town. They were wondering why I had her there. I thought about just pulling anchor and booking, but I played it cool. We anchored off the Sunset House Hotel and booked a room there for the rest of our time. Two weeks up, next stop Cozumel Mexico. There was a tropical wave stalled off the coast of Jamaica. This was August, hurricane season. I decided to go for it. We left early in the morning. All weather reports said she wasn't moving. Wrong! By late afternoon the radio said she was moving and moving fast and right our way. From blue skys to black in no time. The worst was she was right behind us. Following seas. The bigger they got the more scared I got. I not only had my life to worry about but Kim's also. We were towing the zodiac. It was getting tossed all around. When it finally broke lose and was lost forever I knew it was time to turn around. That was a move all of its own. Try to go from a huge following sea and then try to turn right into it. Now we were face into it. Thank God it wasn't a full fledge hurricane. I would not be writing this story, that's for sure. I had Kim go down below and battin down the hatches. I tied myself in and headed back to Grand Cayman. I had to put on a dive mask just to keep my eyes in my head. The waves were coming all the way over, from bow to stearn. Bathing suit, dive mask and lots of rope holding me on board. What a sight! The storm was moving fast west and we were going east. About two a.m. we were through the worst of it. I saw Goerge Towns lights around four in the morning. I knew the landmarks but didn't want to get too close to shore this time. I lost some of my cockeyness in the storm, that's for sure. We anchored and said a little prayer.
The next morning or afternoon, we moved back to the Sunset House. No zodiac to get to shore tho'. We had lost it and had to bum a ride to shore. We chilled a couple of days. The storm made great bar conversation, and I will use any excuse to sit at the bar. I had to check my guns in again. This time just for karma, I decided to leave the shotgun with someone who admired it more than me, the customs officer. The weather got wonderful again and we headed for Cozumel Mexico. This time we made it with no zodiac to get us back and forth to shore. I decided to dock at the Cozumel Yacht Club. I had been to Cozumel before and I couldn't wait to get to Carlos and Charlies for the mother of all marqueritas.
A week drinking tequilla and it was time for the last sail to Ft. Myers, Florida. I had a buddy of mine fly to Cozumel to see us. He flew one of our planes that we used for smuggling. I wanted him to check out the Ukatan passage between Mexico & Cuba for Coast Guard. He flew the route from Florida to Cozumel the day before we left. He saw no danger and called me with the all go. No coast guard cutters waiting to cut us off at the pass. I decided to hug the western coast of Cuba anyway. The second day out could not have been better. The winds were right and clear skies. We were making great time. I was at the wheel and Kim had just cooked a wonderful fish dinner. We got fresh vegetables in Cozumel and the fish were fresh from the sea. I was watching the compass and the sunset to port and Cuba to starboard. Kim had just takem the dinner dishes below. I was enjoying a cold corona. The one great thing about stopping every third or forth day at a island is ice. Ice means cold beer. So as I'm enjoying my ice cold corona and tequilla shooters, Kim came back topside and as calm as could be said, "look behind ya". I figured another fish on the reel. I was always trolling for fish while sailing. Especialy after catching that sword fish in the windward passage heading to Jamaica. Boy, was I ever wrong! A two hundred and seventy foot coast guard cutter named the Accushnet was on my ass. I freaked! The reason my pilot buddy never spotted them was because the day before they were way up in the Gulf of Mexico. They were headed back to their home port in Louisiana. The problem was a tropical disturbance up in the Gulf. The Captain decided to head back down to Key West and do some Pirate hunting in the mean time. I was his new marijuana sticker on his smoke stack. Hurricane season screwed me twice that trip. I looked behind me and choked on my ice cold corona. They were so close I had to look up. I knew I had to get on the radio and see what was up. The first thing they told me was to change course. Head northwest out of Cuban waters. We had been watching house lights come on to our starboard off the western coast of Cuba. This I did, and we were told they would be coming over to board us in their zodiacs shortly. I started drinking tequilla by the gulp. They came over with a crew of eight. All heavily armed. I'm in shorts, no shoes, no shirt and very peaceful looking. Not the way they took it. After a two hour search with Kim and I on the stearn under gunpoint, they said they were leaving.
I heard something come over the Lt.s radio about me. It sounded like, if that's him the boat is loaded. I bit my tongue. Now they wanted a cavity search and I don't mean me. They were looking for more than I could stick up my ass. I had a Yamaha generater on board. They wanted to send over a drill and use it to start making swiss cheese out of my boat. I said no way Jose' and they sent over their own. First hole, first probe, bingo. The guns came up and we were under arrest. They came up with a little bit of weed. As soon as they went for the back wall, I blinked at Kim and said, "game over". We were told we were under arrest. Screw me & the ship I rode in on. Kim was in her little bikini & me in shorts. They put us in their zodiak under armed guard a headed to the cutter. We had to climb up a rope ladder to get on board. We were met by dozens of big eyed candy faced young coast guard kids. Kim and I were hand cuffed to a big winch on the bow of the cutter. They put some mats down and a tarp over us. We were told they had no extra room inside for us.
The next morning the Captain of the cutter, which was the Acushnet, tossed a radio in my lap. "What's this?" I asked. "The boy's on your sail boat made no progress I was told. Could you help them out?" Kim and I laughed our ass's off. "You want us to help you?" I said. "It's probably all the beer and tequilla I have onboard. Don't blame them. Just put us back onboard, we can't outrun you." He said no, and I said no way...Tow the bitch! So that they did. A three day tow to Key West, Florida. Kim and I played one handed cards for the next three days. They kept us hancuffed to the winch. They also kept a twentyfour hour guard sitting in a chair watching us. Young kids who kept saying I'm sorry over and over. We docked into Key West at three in the morning. We had to wait till sunrise to be turned over to the DEA.
I had grown up in Fort Lauderdale since the age of one. I was born in Canada tho'. I had been to Key West hundreds of times before this. I was a commercial swordfisherman and had tied up at the same docks all the trips before. Two DEA agents showed up to take possesion of Kim and I. Right off the bat, one of them started acting the tuff guy. This clown looked just like Burt Reynolds, who I like. The movie Sharky's Machine was the last Burt Reynolds movie I had seen, so I started calling him Sharkey. This idiot started threatening us with this and that. I said, "stop the madness! Do we look Columbian or Cuban to you?" At this point they still didn't know that there were really any drugs onboard. I said, "listen clown, you have two classy white kids here sailing a $250,000 sail boat & you have no proof of anything". My size and voice shut his ass down quick. Kim was impressed, that made me happy. I was looking out for her. We were taken to the Goerge Bush DEA task force head quarters on Duval street in Key west. I knew Duval street from years past, but only the bars. World famous Sloppy Joes is on Duval. Hemmingways ol' hang out. I called my lawyer Peter Giacoma. The best drug lawyer in Fort Lauderdale and also a great friend of mine. He had handled a few other huge drug busts for our crew before and won. I put Sharky on the phone with Peter and Peter told him he had better treat us with kid gloves. That he did, the attitude changed. Now something happened that still put's a smile on my face to this day. Were driven back to the dock where my sailboat is. Sharky tell's his partner if we run shoot us. I laugh! Sharky jumps onto the back deck of my sailboat. There are other cops down below taking a chain saw to the back wall of the cabin where they had drilled that first hole. They still couldn't find the opening. We had hidden it that good. I heard the chain saws cutting the beautiful teak wood away. Because it was the back wall, they had taken the stairs away that get you below deck. Sharkey took one fast step to go inside and vanished. I knew what had happened and looked at Kim and started laughing my ass off. When you go down below you take steps, not one big one all at once. This dumb ass fell into the cabin. I was cryin with laughter. His partner, who was watching us, asked what we were laughing at. I said, You'll see!
Sure nuff! He climbed back out limping big time. Damn near broke his leg. Pay back's a mother! He was happy tho' because out of that back wall poured package after package. One hundred packages in all. 850 pounds of Jamaica's best weed & two packages of hash oil, 9 kilos worth. WOOPS! Now I said, I guess we're busted. Back to the DEA office we headed with limping Sharkey and his pal. It was summer time and hot as hell. They had Kim and I in a cell with the door open to the office. Sharkey was getting along with us by this point. Two good looking white kids with a big money sail boat and almost a million dollars worth of weed. I think he was even impressed on how we had it hidden and all. He said to us, and I remember it like it was yesterday, "You two have two choices!" And I said, "What? Burgers or pizza for lunch?" That threw him for a loop. I said, "we're hungry man!" He said, "I ain't payin", and I said, "I'll pay for us all". I swear he ordered burgers and fries and I paid. After that it was up to the lawyers.
We were both put in the little city jail in Key West that night. We were both "ROCK STARS" because the bust was front page in the Key West paper. The other guys were in for drunk and dissorderly. The next day we were picked up by the Fed's from Miami and put in a real prison. I at MCC, Miami, and Kim got bonded out. MCC Miami is where I ended up doing time with General Noriega from Panama. I ended up bonding out for a few hundred thousand a did a few other successful smuggling trips to pay the bills for the two year long court battle. I ended up taking the rap. The final day in court the judge, Eugene Spellman, a Dade County Federal Judge, asked me, "Mr. Larkin can we get this over with please"? I said, "sure judge, what you have in mind"? He said he had the back ground check and knew I came from a good family and it was only marijuana and he wasn't going to give me life. I said, "sure judge", and I told my lawyers to chill. I said, "only one way I'll deal judge is if Kim's charges get dropped now. Not that I'm admitting anything, but we sailed to Grand Cayman & then Cozumel Mexico supposedly loaded and they found nothing. These are trained government officials you honor. If they found nothing on my sailboat, how can you believe this young girl, who worked as a stripper before I took her sailing, knew anything about what I was doing if I am guilty?" He said, "I understand Mr. Larkin. Miss Noriss you're charges are dismissed!" The prosecuter, who happened to be a woman, and a real nasty one if you know what I mean, freaked out. She said, "no way your honor, we are not dropping charges on miss Norris". I still love ol' Eugene Spellman for this. He said: "Miss lady prosecuter, this is still my courtroom. Young lady, grab your purse & go home. Miss Norris you are free. And Mr. Larkin, I shall see you soon and hope we resolve this case."
Kim and I drove home and partied our asses off. One month later I was sentenced to seven years in federal prison. I ended up serving five and a half years and was then deported back to Canada where I was born. I was born in Windsor, Ontario, but grew up my entire life in Ft. Lauderdale Florida since the age of one. So now I have a lovely condo overlooking Detroit on the water front from my twentyfirst floor and am enjoying life. The great part is that this was the one I got busted on. I got away with smuggling for over ten years. I have stories that put this one to shame. Air drops, out running the coast guard, crashed planes. Sail boat trips with thousands of pounds of marijuana. My name is "BIG RED" and I write Pirates Stories!
Pirates Stories(Chris Larkin)
We had been in Grand Cayman for two weeks now. It all seemed like a dream. It was only a short 14 days ago that Kim and I were told, no more fun! It's time to make some money! We had just spent two weeks in Ocho Rios Jamaica. We had sailed into Ochi harbour from a long crazy cruise from Ft. Lauderdale. All through the Bahamas, Bimmini, Nassau, the Exumas. Kim and I were on a mission. Kim was twenty one years old. A sexy, harley riding stripper. She had never left Florida when I asked her to sail to Jamaica with me. She was ready and willing. The ride to Jamaica was a customised fortyseven foot Hardin Seawolf ketch and her name was the Ida. What I mean by customised, is that walls were hollowed out, waiting for some of Jamaicas best. We had loaded off Runaway Bay Jamaica. We had left Ochi Harbour and headed down the coast that afternoon. After the sunset, we watched for the flashlights on shore.R ight on time there they were. We did our little signal back and forth and here they came. They weren't zodiacs or boston whaler's that's for sure. They were little wooden dugouts with outboards. The boats were just overflowing with packages. We had measured the space and the size that the packages would have to be while in Ochi. The boys went a little overboard tho'. Kim was the only one small enough to fit in the wall. The opening was small so as not to be found. It matched to a tee. No one could find it once it was closed. The boys tossed up and I tossed down. Kim worked her way out of the wall and stacked bricks as she went. After all was said and done the boys headed back to shore and we set sail. We ended up with two packages left over that would not fit. Our next stop, Grand Cayman.
I had gone to Grand Cayman when I was sixteen. I loved scuba diving with a passion. I got my first tank when I was twelve. It was an old converted fire extinguisher converted to a dive tank. Big fat double regulator. I looked like Loyd Bridges in Sea Hunt. I was hooked though. When I made that first trip to Grand Cayman I had all the new stuff. None of my scuba buddies wanted to go, so I went on my own. Two weeks on Rum Point with tanks and a spear gun. No real resorts back then. I had a cottage with a barrier reef out back. Dominos at night, after the owner and his wife cooked up my days catch. Enough for the neighbors even. So I got to know Rum Point.
The next year three other buddies went with. Kim and I spotted Grand Cayman late that afternoon. I could have sailed around to George Town, with the easy sail from Jamaica and a dozen red stripes under my belt, let alone all the mango pits and jerk chicken bones leaving a trail the whole way. I decided to test my memory. I'm old now and it's still o.k., but it's been road hard. I dropped the sails and motored along the coast. I knew they were out there somewhere. Two skinny rusted metal rods showing the entrance into north sound. The home of Stingray City. I think Kim spotted them first. Thank God for a healthy young girls with great eyes.`We were in Grand Cayman now. I motored as close to Rum Point as possible, tossed out the anchors and headed to shore. When I had gone scuba diving with my schools chums, we stayed at the Cayman Kai hotel. I knew it was close to the point. Kim and I took the zodiac to shore and walked down. I explained that I needed to clear customs and would they call for me. They freeked! They couldn't believe that a tourist had brought a fortyseven foot sailboat drawing six and a half feet of water into the sound. Let alone that close to shore. We were sent back to the Ida to await customs. I still had those two packages of ganga that wouldn't fit. I decided to cut them open and toss them overboard. The wind was blowing from the east. I figured it would drift to the west in north sound. It's huge. My radio conversations aroused the interest of the Cayman police boat tho'. It was coming from the western side of the sound, off course. It's dark and the police are asking me to put on my mast lights. They are running their spotlights back and forth as they head my way. I'm sure just to look out for the rocks, but that's not my concern. I'm afraid they are going to stumble on the floating weed and I'm done. When the customs man showed up in a little Boston whaler with a guy from the yaught club skippering, I relaxed. I showed him the police lights and he got on the radio and took control. They shut off their lights and headed back home. What a relief. We got a clean bill of health, boat and all. I turned over my firearms. A 357 magnum pistol and my speargun grip stainless steal ithaca twelve gauge. He really liked the shotgun. We locked up and all left at the same time. Kim and I walked back to the Cayman Kai and rented a cottage. We had two weeks of Cayman fun ahead of us. I was in no hurry to head right back to Florida.
I knew the DEA had taken interest in us in Jamaica. I was trying to play the tourist. We rented a car and toured the island. After a couple of days it was requested that I bring her around to Goerge Town. They were wondering why I had her there. I thought about just pulling anchor and booking, but I played it cool. We anchored off the Sunset House Hotel and booked a room there for the rest of our time. Two weeks up, next stop Cozumel Mexico. There was a tropical wave stalled off the coast of Jamaica. This was August, hurricane season. I decided to go for it. We left early in the morning. All weather reports said she wasn't moving. Wrong! By late afternoon the radio said she was moving and moving fast and right our way. From blue skys to black in no time. The worst was she was right behind us. Following seas. The bigger they got the more scared I got. I not only had my life to worry about but Kim's also. We were towing the zodiac. It was getting tossed all around. When it finally broke lose and was lost forever I knew it was time to turn around. That was a move all of its own. Try to go from a huge following sea and then try to turn right into it. Now we were face into it. Thank God it wasn't a full fledge hurricane. I would not be writing this story, that's for sure. I had Kim go down below and battin down the hatches. I tied myself in and headed back to Grand Cayman. I had to put on a dive mask just to keep my eyes in my head. The waves were coming all the way over, from bow to stearn. Bathing suit, dive mask and lots of rope holding me on board. What a sight! The storm was moving fast west and we were going east. About two a.m. we were through the worst of it. I saw Goerge Towns lights around four in the morning. I knew the landmarks but didn't want to get too close to shore this time. I lost some of my cockeyness in the storm, that's for sure. We anchored and said a little prayer.
The next morning or afternoon, we moved back to the Sunset House. No zodiac to get to shore tho'. We had lost it and had to bum a ride to shore. We chilled a couple of days. The storm made great bar conversation, and I will use any excuse to sit at the bar. I had to check my guns in again. This time just for karma, I decided to leave the shotgun with someone who admired it more than me, the customs officer. The weather got wonderful again and we headed for Cozumel Mexico. This time we made it with no zodiac to get us back and forth to shore. I decided to dock at the Cozumel Yacht Club. I had been to Cozumel before and I couldn't wait to get to Carlos and Charlies for the mother of all marqueritas.
A week drinking tequilla and it was time for the last sail to Ft. Myers, Florida. I had a buddy of mine fly to Cozumel to see us. He flew one of our planes that we used for smuggling. I wanted him to check out the Ukatan passage between Mexico & Cuba for Coast Guard. He flew the route from Florida to Cozumel the day before we left. He saw no danger and called me with the all go. No coast guard cutters waiting to cut us off at the pass. I decided to hug the western coast of Cuba anyway. The second day out could not have been better. The winds were right and clear skies. We were making great time. I was at the wheel and Kim had just cooked a wonderful fish dinner. We got fresh vegetables in Cozumel and the fish were fresh from the sea. I was watching the compass and the sunset to port and Cuba to starboard. Kim had just takem the dinner dishes below. I was enjoying a cold corona. The one great thing about stopping every third or forth day at a island is ice. Ice means cold beer. So as I'm enjoying my ice cold corona and tequilla shooters, Kim came back topside and as calm as could be said, "look behind ya". I figured another fish on the reel. I was always trolling for fish while sailing. Especialy after catching that sword fish in the windward passage heading to Jamaica. Boy, was I ever wrong! A two hundred and seventy foot coast guard cutter named the Accushnet was on my ass. I freaked! The reason my pilot buddy never spotted them was because the day before they were way up in the Gulf of Mexico. They were headed back to their home port in Louisiana. The problem was a tropical disturbance up in the Gulf. The Captain decided to head back down to Key West and do some Pirate hunting in the mean time. I was his new marijuana sticker on his smoke stack. Hurricane season screwed me twice that trip. I looked behind me and choked on my ice cold corona. They were so close I had to look up. I knew I had to get on the radio and see what was up. The first thing they told me was to change course. Head northwest out of Cuban waters. We had been watching house lights come on to our starboard off the western coast of Cuba. This I did, and we were told they would be coming over to board us in their zodiacs shortly. I started drinking tequilla by the gulp. They came over with a crew of eight. All heavily armed. I'm in shorts, no shoes, no shirt and very peaceful looking. Not the way they took it. After a two hour search with Kim and I on the stearn under gunpoint, they said they were leaving.
I heard something come over the Lt.s radio about me. It sounded like, if that's him the boat is loaded. I bit my tongue. Now they wanted a cavity search and I don't mean me. They were looking for more than I could stick up my ass. I had a Yamaha generater on board. They wanted to send over a drill and use it to start making swiss cheese out of my boat. I said no way Jose' and they sent over their own. First hole, first probe, bingo. The guns came up and we were under arrest. They came up with a little bit of weed. As soon as they went for the back wall, I blinked at Kim and said, "game over". We were told we were under arrest. Screw me & the ship I rode in on. Kim was in her little bikini & me in shorts. They put us in their zodiak under armed guard a headed to the cutter. We had to climb up a rope ladder to get on board. We were met by dozens of big eyed candy faced young coast guard kids. Kim and I were hand cuffed to a big winch on the bow of the cutter. They put some mats down and a tarp over us. We were told they had no extra room inside for us.
The next morning the Captain of the cutter, which was the Acushnet, tossed a radio in my lap. "What's this?" I asked. "The boy's on your sail boat made no progress I was told. Could you help them out?" Kim and I laughed our ass's off. "You want us to help you?" I said. "It's probably all the beer and tequilla I have onboard. Don't blame them. Just put us back onboard, we can't outrun you." He said no, and I said no way...Tow the bitch! So that they did. A three day tow to Key West, Florida. Kim and I played one handed cards for the next three days. They kept us hancuffed to the winch. They also kept a twentyfour hour guard sitting in a chair watching us. Young kids who kept saying I'm sorry over and over. We docked into Key West at three in the morning. We had to wait till sunrise to be turned over to the DEA.
I had grown up in Fort Lauderdale since the age of one. I was born in Canada tho'. I had been to Key West hundreds of times before this. I was a commercial swordfisherman and had tied up at the same docks all the trips before. Two DEA agents showed up to take possesion of Kim and I. Right off the bat, one of them started acting the tuff guy. This clown looked just like Burt Reynolds, who I like. The movie Sharky's Machine was the last Burt Reynolds movie I had seen, so I started calling him Sharkey. This idiot started threatening us with this and that. I said, "stop the madness! Do we look Columbian or Cuban to you?" At this point they still didn't know that there were really any drugs onboard. I said, "listen clown, you have two classy white kids here sailing a $250,000 sail boat & you have no proof of anything". My size and voice shut his ass down quick. Kim was impressed, that made me happy. I was looking out for her. We were taken to the Goerge Bush DEA task force head quarters on Duval street in Key west. I knew Duval street from years past, but only the bars. World famous Sloppy Joes is on Duval. Hemmingways ol' hang out. I called my lawyer Peter Giacoma. The best drug lawyer in Fort Lauderdale and also a great friend of mine. He had handled a few other huge drug busts for our crew before and won. I put Sharky on the phone with Peter and Peter told him he had better treat us with kid gloves. That he did, the attitude changed. Now something happened that still put's a smile on my face to this day. Were driven back to the dock where my sailboat is. Sharky tell's his partner if we run shoot us. I laugh! Sharky jumps onto the back deck of my sailboat. There are other cops down below taking a chain saw to the back wall of the cabin where they had drilled that first hole. They still couldn't find the opening. We had hidden it that good. I heard the chain saws cutting the beautiful teak wood away. Because it was the back wall, they had taken the stairs away that get you below deck. Sharkey took one fast step to go inside and vanished. I knew what had happened and looked at Kim and started laughing my ass off. When you go down below you take steps, not one big one all at once. This dumb ass fell into the cabin. I was cryin with laughter. His partner, who was watching us, asked what we were laughing at. I said, You'll see!
Sure nuff! He climbed back out limping big time. Damn near broke his leg. Pay back's a mother! He was happy tho' because out of that back wall poured package after package. One hundred packages in all. 850 pounds of Jamaica's best weed & two packages of hash oil, 9 kilos worth. WOOPS! Now I said, I guess we're busted. Back to the DEA office we headed with limping Sharkey and his pal. It was summer time and hot as hell. They had Kim and I in a cell with the door open to the office. Sharkey was getting along with us by this point. Two good looking white kids with a big money sail boat and almost a million dollars worth of weed. I think he was even impressed on how we had it hidden and all. He said to us, and I remember it like it was yesterday, "You two have two choices!" And I said, "What? Burgers or pizza for lunch?" That threw him for a loop. I said, "we're hungry man!" He said, "I ain't payin", and I said, "I'll pay for us all". I swear he ordered burgers and fries and I paid. After that it was up to the lawyers.
We were both put in the little city jail in Key West that night. We were both "ROCK STARS" because the bust was front page in the Key West paper. The other guys were in for drunk and dissorderly. The next day we were picked up by the Fed's from Miami and put in a real prison. I at MCC, Miami, and Kim got bonded out. MCC Miami is where I ended up doing time with General Noriega from Panama. I ended up bonding out for a few hundred thousand a did a few other successful smuggling trips to pay the bills for the two year long court battle. I ended up taking the rap. The final day in court the judge, Eugene Spellman, a Dade County Federal Judge, asked me, "Mr. Larkin can we get this over with please"? I said, "sure judge, what you have in mind"? He said he had the back ground check and knew I came from a good family and it was only marijuana and he wasn't going to give me life. I said, "sure judge", and I told my lawyers to chill. I said, "only one way I'll deal judge is if Kim's charges get dropped now. Not that I'm admitting anything, but we sailed to Grand Cayman & then Cozumel Mexico supposedly loaded and they found nothing. These are trained government officials you honor. If they found nothing on my sailboat, how can you believe this young girl, who worked as a stripper before I took her sailing, knew anything about what I was doing if I am guilty?" He said, "I understand Mr. Larkin. Miss Noriss you're charges are dismissed!" The prosecuter, who happened to be a woman, and a real nasty one if you know what I mean, freaked out. She said, "no way your honor, we are not dropping charges on miss Norris". I still love ol' Eugene Spellman for this. He said: "Miss lady prosecuter, this is still my courtroom. Young lady, grab your purse & go home. Miss Norris you are free. And Mr. Larkin, I shall see you soon and hope we resolve this case."
Kim and I drove home and partied our asses off. One month later I was sentenced to seven years in federal prison. I ended up serving five and a half years and was then deported back to Canada where I was born. I was born in Windsor, Ontario, but grew up my entire life in Ft. Lauderdale Florida since the age of one. So now I have a lovely condo overlooking Detroit on the water front from my twentyfirst floor and am enjoying life. The great part is that this was the one I got busted on. I got away with smuggling for over ten years. I have stories that put this one to shame. Air drops, out running the coast guard, crashed planes. Sail boat trips with thousands of pounds of marijuana. My name is "BIG RED" and I write Pirates Stories!
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