Pop-A-Top(Ed DeRousse) Pop-a-Top

My wife, CJ, and I have two entirely different views of camping. To CJ, camping is a hardship. Camping is what you call staying in a motel in the summer when the air conditioner is broken. Camping also is the winter visit to the motel room with a heater that doesn’t work.

To CJ, tent camping is totally ridiculous. She has told me more than once, “Why would I want to sleep in a bag and beat off the bugs, when I can stay in a nice comfy bed and not have to deal with those pesty bugs?”

Being the extremely intelligent and thoughtful husband that I am I offered the suggestion, “Honey, I understand what you’re saying. We don’t have to sleep in a tent when we can stay in an air conditioned camper. That way we are off the ground. Besides, those things come equipped with built in beds. And, and, you’re protected from the pesky little bugs, too. At least as long as you stay inside. That’s just like a motel.”

I realized this was a losing argument, so I offered one more argument.

“You know what is really neat about those campers? It’s just like being at home. Some campers have all the conveniences of home. Many have a kitchen. You can cook your own meals. Heck, some even have a washer and dryer.” I could tell at this point that my understanding wife was about to put an end to this discussion.

“If camping is part of vacationing, why in the world would I want to cook and wash clothes? The purpose of vacationing is to get away from work. That’s why it’s called a VACATION!”

What could I say to that? The discussion was over. And it was too, until….

……My boss decided one year to have an incentive for increased production. The incentive was to be a trip for two to Las Vegas. For every unit sold over quota participating employee’s name would be put in a box. At the end of the allotted time, one name would be drawn out. I am usually not very lucky in those sorts of things, but I decided to participate anyway.

I managed to surpass my quota by one, which of course meant I had one chance to win. Several others surpassed their goals by at least ten. I was sure I did not have a chance.

I had been working at this job for over seven years and never could afford a vacation. I began this job upon my discharge from the Army. My son, the oldest child, was five when he was on his last vacation with his mom and dad. My daughter, the youngest, had yet to experience a vacation with her parents. Grandma and Grandpa had taken them both to Florida once after I left the Army.

Both My children were old enough to hear their school friends talk about the fun they had on their vacations. Consequently, Rich and Brianne were beginning to display their unhappiness about their lack of family vacations. They were sure they were missing out. In their eyes it was not fair that all their friends were having all the fun. Unfortunately, our money was tight. Vacationing was not something this family was to experience in the near future. But then the boss drew out my name. I won an all expense paid trip for two to Las Vegas. I only had one chance and my name was drawn. Believe it or not, I felt bad for me. I increased my quota by only one. Several others had well surpassed their quotas. But I was also excited.

“Wait a minute!! Trip for two. To Las Vegas? There’s something wrong, here. I have to turn it down. I can’t do this without my kids. We have never had a vacation as a family. It just would not be right to go without them. What am I going to tell CJ?”

I knew she would feel as I did. What would my boss say when I turned it down?

Fortunately, my boss was a good guy. I explained my dilemma to him and he had a solution. He obviously was ready for just such a thing.

He knew the value of the trip, so he offered me the value in cash. That way I could take my family anywhere I wanted. What a nice guy!

When I got home that evening I told CJ of our vacation opportunity. After all these years I can still see the smile on her face.

My wife really disserved this, considering all she put up with. Despite what I always told my wife about me, I was not the most thoughtful husband and was usually quite demanding. This opportunity could be a great stress relief.

The kids were asked where they would like to go. Opryland in Nashville, TN. was a big deal back then. They had seen all the ads on TV. CJ and I told them we had one week.

I enjoyed camping. My wife and kids did not. I suggested to the family that we could rent a camper and hook it on behind the car. The kids (with a little bribing) were OK with it. CJ didn’t like the idea. I compromised with her. I suggested that my camping experience would be tagged on at the end of the Opryland trip.

Being the great wife she is, CJ consented, but only because I had the kids on my side. CJ was sure the camping trip was going to be memorable. She knows me. I would most likely manage to make a memory for the entire family to enjoy for years.

I believe she was right; you be the judge….

We spent three days at Opryland. The kids enjoyed all the daytime activities there. They also enjoyed the after dinner activities at the motel. It had a swimming pool. Summer is hot in the South and Rich and Brianne spent much of the evening in the water. Their skin actually wrinkled up. They looked like huge prunes. They were having a great time.

By the time we arrived home on Thursday evening everyone was very tired. Dear O’ Dad now had a problem. The camping trip was to begin the next morning. Everyone was too tired to go, myself included. I had already rented the pop-up camper which I was to pick up bright and early the next morning. The fee was non-refundable. Because of my self-imposed busy schedule, I was not about to reschedule the camping trip.

No one wanted to go and it was now raining. I invested money into this camping trip and by golly we were going. Like it or not.

I am sure everyone knows how things go under those circumstances.
We planned to have almost everything ready to be packed up for the camping trip before leaving for Opryland and waiting for us upon our return. But it did not happen. So Thursday night the goal was to get everything unpacked from the Opryland trip and packed for next day’s camping trip, before going to bed. That goal was not met. The home bed just looked too inviting. We decided to wake up early the next morning. That didn’t happen either. You see a pattern here.

It was still raining in the morning when we finally woke up. There was now only one way my camping trip was going to happen. I had to turn it over to CJ. She was amazing. She didn’t really want to go, she was tired, and our children were unresponsive. I left the kids with the wife and headed out to get the pop-up camper. About 11:00 a.m. I finally made it home with the camper hooked up behind my car. There was only one thing I forgot.

In my entire life, up until that day, I had never trailed anything. I never had the need so no one had ever shown me how to back up the car when there was something attached to its rear. I wasn’t worried, though. I would make sure I would park it someplace that would not require backing. That should not be too difficult. To prove my point I parked the camper in the street.

A half hour later CJ had the kids in tow and we were headed out to our pre-determined location. There was a KOA Campground two hours away and that was our destination.

It rained all the way to the KOA. I was looking forward to camping with my family. A little bit of rain was not going to stop me.

The KOA was virtually empty when we pulled in. I guess it was the rain. That was a plus. With the campground empty I could pull straight into our assigned area and straight out as well. I did not have to back at all. All I had to do was park and get the camper ready for our use.

Just as I parked, the sun came out and the rain stopped. O, Happy day.

The camper was to pop up to make for more head room. All we had to do was undo some latches, push the top up, and secure it in place.
Fortunately, the kids were sound asleep in the back seat of the car, so we didn’t have to deal with them.

CJ and I hopped out of the car. CJ took her station in the front. I took mine in the back. All we had to do was pop the top.

CJ didn’t wait on me. She unlatched hers and pushed.

We both forgot about the rain.

“AAAUGH!!!”

I stepped out from behind the camper. I looked into CJ’s eyes. She looked into mine. Her eyes began to water. Her actions were obviously uncontrollable. I was not happy. My wife was a little too happy. She was laughing uncontrollably, now. I guess the sight of her soaking wet husband was more than she could stand.

Suddenly, from somewhere close, I heard additional laughter. Could it be the kids? I thought they were asleep in the car. Nope! The laughter sounded more adult.

“Where the heck did they come from?”

Sure enough. Off to my right in the spot next to us another family decided to pick that particular moment to set up their weekend home.

“O, Great! They saw that.”

I stepped back behind our camper and tried to undo the latches. They were stuck and no amount of effort on my part would open them. I was already highly embarrassed. Asking for help from our neighbors was, for me, out of the question.

The camping trip just was not working out the way I envisioned.

That was it. I had enough. I was done. The fun family camping adventure was now over. It was two hours back to home and that’s where we were headed. I’d dry out the car later.

I have to hand it to CJ. She could have rubbed it in. But she didn’t. She just wore a grin all the way home.

We all still talk about that camping trip that never happened.

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