Do You Love Me or Not (part 2)

Do You Love Me or Not (part 2)(Jannah Lee) I lay in the hospital bed, reading the cards my friends sent me. There was a card from you but I didn’t bother to read it. I carelessly put it in my bag. I climbed out of bed and walked to the front office. The nurse asked me if I needed anything. I told her that I wanted to go home. I’ve been at the mental hospital for two months. The nurse checked my record and told me she’ll ask the doctor. I walked back to my room and started watching TV like it was nothing. It really helped me get over you but I’m still mad at you for what you did. I was able to grab my knife before you brought me here. I hid it from the doctor, so they wouldn’t take it and used it to cut my hair. Somehow it became darker but I don’t care. Now my hair is as black as night. I remember our first date, you said that you liked my hair the way it was shiny and brown, and I wonder what you think of it now that it’s black. I wondered if everyone’s hair changes. My parents both have black hair so am beginning to wonder why my hair was brown in the first place. At first it was wavy at the bottom, but now it’s wavy all over. I thought about that the whole time until the nurse knocked on my door. She told me the doctor said that I can start packing my things so that I can leave. I was so happy when she said that. I quickly began to pack my clothes. I don’t want to admit it, but you bringing me here brought back my confidence, and happiness.

My parents walked through the door and I ran to hug them. They asked me what happened to my hair. I told them that I cut it then the color changed during the past two months. They hugged me tightly. They told me I got taller, and how much I have changed. My dad grabbed my bags, and my mom bought me some food the restaurant. The food at the hospital tasted awful. My ride back was full of questions from my parents. I didn’t hear most of the things they said, I was busy thinking of your reaction when you see me. I thought of her reaction when she sees me and everyone else in school that knows me. I thought of the way I’m not depressed anymore. I’m actually happy for once in a whole year. I’m glad I can forgive you for all that you did. I just wish you would like me and we could hang out like we used to. When I got home I ran into the door and spun around I was so happy to be home. I ran upstairs into my room and jumped onto my bed it was so soft and comfortable, at the hospital the beds are stiff and hard with no color just white. I was tired and fell asleep in my bed my parents came in and tucked me in, kissed me goodnight and left out. The next morning I came downstairs and saw an envelope for me on the floor, it was from you but I put that in my bag also. My mother made my breakfast I started to eat but not a lot because I was thinking of you and what you would do.

I heard the bus outside and rushed outside to catch it. I got on and sat next to my friends, I gave them hugs and they asked me about my hair. Two stops later you and jenny got on you didn’t recognize me, you would have seen me if I wasn’t wearing sunglasses. The two of you were arguing on the bus and everyone could hear you. I tried to ignore what you where saying until she got up and bumped me when she was walking past. Someone passed me a note on the front it said it was from James, I decided to open it. It said that Cameron and Megan were breaking up. I folded it back up because I really didn’t care. I was over you and didn’t want anything to do with you. During school I kept my glasses on so you won’t recognize me. For some reason you kept glancing at me. During lunch you came up to me tapped me on my shoulder and said hi. I turned around and he waved at me. “Hi” I said I took of my glasses. I asked him how he knew it was me. You told me it was my shirt; he knows that it’s my favorite shirt in the world because I wear it a lot. I told him I heard what happened between him and Megan. I told him that I don’t actually know what happened. He asked me if he could talk to me in the hall. He grabbed my hand and helped me out of my cluttered seat. We walked into the hallway I was still holding your hand, it reminded me of the time when I held your hand all the time. You explained to me why the two of you broke up. You said that while I was throwing the tantrum, when she held you back, you where telling her that you needed to help me because your still my friend. When I fell asleep in your car, you were arguing with her about why you’re helping me he said that she doesn’t like me. When I woke up in the hospital bed she left because she didn’t want to be around me. You said that the two of you were arguing for the past two months and they finally broke up because I came back.

I asked him why she doesn’t she like me, I did nothing wrong. You hesitated a little, looked at me then looked down. I saw her look at us from around the corner. You tried to say something but you couldn’t get it out. You were finally able to get it out you said “because I like you”. I knew what you meant but I wanted to hear you say what you were actually talking about. “You like me” I said. I told him that I like him to, he said “you do” and I said yes like a friend. He told me he doesn’t like me like a friend. He likes me more than that. I let of your hand and began to walk away. I started blushing and walked back to the cafeteria doors, my friends were standing there listening. I walked up to the doors and I guess I scared them because they jumped and scared me. I asked them if they were listening. They too began to hesitate. They said yea they were listening. I looked rolled my eyes while smiling. We walked back into the cafeteria and sat down and finished eating our lunch. After school she came up to me and yelled “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT”. Everyone heard her and came up to see what was happening. I asked her what she was talking. She kept yelling what you and I were talking about during lunch. She drew a big crowd, and soon everyone was yelling fight, fight, fight. I told her I wasn’t going to fight her. I saw you run into the crowd. You stared at me and she came up in my face. I pushed her and walked away. She threw her ring at me and I accidently stepped on it, it turns out rings are very easy to break. She got mad at me for breaking her ring but I rolled my eyes at her the same way I did to you.

I went over to the gate and stood there holding the bars tying to keep myself from crying. I kept saying to myself I’m different I won’t throw a tantrum I’m not going to cry I’m not going to cry a tear slid down my cheek. I stood up straight, my eyes shut tight. She came up to me and kicked me in the leg. I grabbed my foot and hopped up and down. She was about to punch me but I blocked her hand, pushed it down pushed her away and walked out of the gate. She and the crowd decided to follow me home. She kept calling me names, the crowd kept laughing at me, and some kids were calling me chicken. I balled up my fist so tight my hands started to hurt. You were right behind her telling her to stop. She ignored you; I tried to ignore her and everyone else. You ran up to me and put your hand on my shoulder. You told me that you’ll call me tonight. Then you ran off home. I ran home also I heard her scream at the top off her lungs saying she’ll get me tomorrow. As I ran home I tripped and hit my knee on the sidewalk. I limped home I went upstairs as fast as I could so my parents wouldn’t see the hole in my pants and my knee all bloody. When I got upstairs my parents were in my room. They scared me; my eyes were opened really wide. I covered my knee with my hand and the blood got on my hand. They looked at me and called me to sit down. I told them I had to go into the bathroom. They watched me limp into the bathroom and wondered why I was limping. I used a rag to wash off my knee, a paper towel to dry it. Then put an elastic bandage around it, and washed my hands. I tried my best to walk up straight into my room. I sat on the bed next to them while they showed me a bunch of family photos. I looked at them like I was amazed, like I never saw them before. But I can’t blame them their getting old and their starting to forget things this is really my third time seeing them. They finally asked me why I was limping. I told them I tripped and hit my knee.

They began to act like I was a baby, they said “let me kiss your booboo” I told them I wasn’t a baby, and that I was fifteen. They apologized my dad went into their room and mom went to go start making dinner. At night when my parents were asleep, and I was laying there waiting for my phone to ring I heard her voice outside saying is this her house and a bunch of other girls saying yea, yea this is it. She said my house was so ugly she doesn’t want to see the inside. I was angry when I heard that my house is beautiful, she only said that because she’s mad. I heard them laughing and then run off. My phone finally rang and I quickly answered it so it won’t wake my parents. I heard you voice like a whisper. We talked for a long time it reminded me of when we used to talk every night. You said that it’s your fault that I’m having trouble in school, why I was in a mental hospital for two months, and why I’m so upset all the time. I told you that I’m not mad anymore. I told you that it’s not your fault. You told me it is your fault and that you’re sorry, not just saying sorry that your really, really sincerely, seriously sorry. I told him its okay. You asked me if I read the two cards you sent me. I told you I didn’t and reached for my bag grabbed my flashlight and read the first one. It said that sorry for bringing you here but I think it will help you, I want you to know I still care about you and your still my friend, see you soon –Cameron. I put it down and read the second one. It said hey this is Dylan I want you to know that the thing going on between me and Megan wasn’t going to work out, if that makes you feel any better, -Cameron, P.S your lucky you didn’t come we had so much home work like you wouldn’t believe, P.P.S – Megan told everyone where you are I hope you don’t let that get to you.

I put them down and told you thanks for the cards. You said you’re welcome. By then I was about to fall asleep. I told you I talk to you tomorrow and hung up. The next day I walked to school slowly I wasn’t I n any rush to see her. I few blocks away from school you caught up to me. I gave you a hug and said thanks again for giving me the cards. I asked you if you could help defend me from her. I said she is so jealous. I guess she thinks if she can’t have you then no one can. You asked me how I blocked her punch yesterday. I told you I took five years of karate starting when I was five; I got the black belt when I was six. I was supposed to stop but I decided to continue. I know how to do back flips, front flips and all types of cool tricks and moves. I told you that you’re my best friend. He tried to hold my hand but I began to run yelling last one to school is a rotten egg. He yelled after me who says that anymore while laughing. He beat me to school because when he was twelve he joined the track team. We stopped at the school yard and tried to catch our breath. We walked into school and it was really quiet. My friends ran to me and said that she was going to jump me, her and her friends. I wasn’t scared I know how to fight off up to six people at one time. I readied myself for anything all day long which was a bad idea. Today in math class my teacher was handing back our tests I got and “A” but when he put his hand on my desk and I karate chopped it. He had to get a cast for six weeks. I was called to the principal’s office. I had a lunch detention and had to wait in the classroom. I snuck out during recess and met up with you. We went over to the wall. Some girls came over and started making fun of us saying that you’re my boyfriend. I looked over at you, you were looking down blushing. I stood up and walked away the teacher came up and was standing right there he signaled me in his direction and walked me back to the classroom. After school she came up to me and tried to punch me again, I blocked it with my fist. She tried to kick me I grabbed her foot and twisted it and pulled it and made her fall. I walked away and acted like I did nothing.

She ran to me and tried to catch me by surprise, I turned around just as she was about to kick me, I dived down and rolled behind you. I grabbed her wrist put my palm on the back of her head and used my foot to put on her back and pushed her forward. It all happened so fast that no one saw exactly what I did. I pushed her down and made her fall on her face. I asked her why she hates me. She said that she knew he was cheating on me but she didn’t care because you liked her more than me. She said that since he liked me again then he doesn’t want to be around her anymore. She said that if she can’t have you then no one can. I knew it I mumbled to myself. I ran out of the gate and as soon as I got around the corner I ran into you and we fell into the water that was running down the street. My parents were driving down the street they stopped the car and ran to help me up. I couldn’t stand straight, I hit the same knee on the side walk and when we fell I hit my leg on the side of the side walk. My dad picked me up and carried me into the car. My mom reached to help up you but when she pulled your arm you screamed. She walked you into the car. I was crying really hard and was holding my leg. You were quietly weeping holding your arm. My parents drove us to the ER. When we got in they took X rays and told them my leg was broken and your arm was broken. They gave you a blue cast and gave me an orangey tan cast. I was upset because my leg was broken but happy because I got to use crutches. My parents drove you home and they dropped me off, so they can go back to the store.
I went into my room turned on my TV, and started playing on my play station. My phone started to rig and I answered it because I knew it was you. When I answered it I heard her voice. I was confused because it was from your phone. She said it’s because you dropped it in the school. She was apologizing. She said that she was being stupid. I was still upset at her for calling my house stupid. She said sorry about that too. I told her that I forgive her and hung up. Six weeks later my parent told me that we were moving. I tried to tell them I didn’t want to move, but they said were moving weather I like it or not. I told them I didn’t want to leave. I asked them, what about my friends. What about my new friends. My acquaintances and every one I care about. They said that there sorry but we have to leave because you were causing too much trouble for me. A tear slid down my face I ran upstairs grabbed my phone and called you. When you answered I told you what happened so fast you didn’t hear me. You told me to slow down. I told you again slower. I told you they said that you were causing me too much trouble. You told me we can try to convince them and change their minds. I told you they already started packing. We were going to leave Friday after school, it’s already Wednesday. I told you I would talk to you tomorrow.

The next say at school I was sad again. I told you that Friday is my last day here at school. I started unpacking my locker. I showed you that I had a few pictures of us on my locker door. I took out everything in my desk. And sat in the chair quietly all day long I didn’t eat lunch and when it was time to go home you walked me to my house. I gave you a hug and went inside. My parents were in their room stacking boxes my house was empty and full of boxes. I went to my room. Nothing... There wasn’t any thing there. My bed was gone, everything in my closet was empty, and my shelf was gone. I felt like crying but I didn’t. The next day my parents drove me to school so that I could say good bye to all of my friends. When I walked into the classroom everyone yelled surprise. There was a banner that said good bye Cindy. I hugged my friends and told them I would miss them. I thanked everyone for throwing me the party. They told me it was your idea. I gave you a big hug and tears came from my eyes. We had cake and ice-cream and candy. After school my friends were crying and you were leaning against you locker with your arms folded, you looked angry. I walked up to you and asked you if you could walk me home for the last time. I stood there waiting for a response, I looked down and noticed you were trying to hold my hand. I grabbed you hand and we walked down to my house. My dad was just finishing packing our belonging in the moving truck and our smaller boxes in our car. I started crying and you turned my head towards you and told me to stop you said that we would see each other again, you promised me. I gave you your last hug waved goodbye, got in the car and drove off. You waved goodbye and a said promise to yourself.

TO BE CONTINUED……………………...