.Echo.(alle mae) It was a cold, dark day as I walk out the door of my tall, banged up old house, and as I stared to walk down my long driveway I look up to the sky as I felt something warm drop down my cheek, as I wiped away what I thought was the clouds finally letting go of the long awaited rain I realised that it was a tear…MY TEAR?..no..it couldn’t be…I don’t cry…I never cry. Not since the day that I found my mother’s cold dead body lying in her bed…Why was I crying?. I had lived this life for 10 years…and the day that it rains, that is the day that my tears decided to escape. My eyes felt dry even though I could feel each tear more than the last. As I walk down the last metres of my drive way onto the long road ahead I felt the tears dry up. Maybe that was all that I was meant to shed a mere few, I was never one to show emotion and now the first that I do, I feel deader than before. I feel no different just an inch closer to the depths of despair; It was like I was on the bridge crossing over taking those last steps to the end of my life and as I take that last step…I stop because I see her…I see everything and she tells me to return that it is not my time to go, so I turn back. I keep walking down the dark street but as I turn to go into what will be m hell hole of a school for the next 3 years…the all knew me poor little Alyssa…I don’t want to be poor little Alyssa I don’t want sympathy…I want to be a normal person. A normal person…is that too much to ask for.

as I walk into the bright corridor I saw a face…one I recognised that face. It was beautiful...Enchanting, like a god. I shied away…turning m iPod louder and pulling my hoodie over my head to hide my face as I walk in the other direction to what would be my roll making class there was a faint yet beautiful voice calling my name “Alyssa..ALYSSA..Can you hear me?” that is when I felt a light touch on y shoulder, I turned my head slightly to see what I was, a hand? A beautiful yet pale hand with a bracelet around the wrist…The bracelet I gave “Ben?”…I turned to face him I knew when I looked at him I would beauty, but I look any way, I started at his feet his amazing feet, as I got higher his legs so amazing in those jeans, his tee shirt perfectly sculpting his toned stomach, His lip with the perfect shape to them…I stop at his eyes, the type that would make you smile. Even one the worst of days, those beautiful blue eyes and with that blonde her WOW, I had to control myself, I couldn’t get distracted, what was I doing snap out of it ,I look back down at me feet as he finally open though perfect pink lips even the word hello sent a tingle down my spine, he pulled my face up to look at him, I pulled away and quietly whispered “I’m sorry.”

I finally made it to my roll marking class and I opened the old creaky door everyone stoped. They looked up at me with judging eyes. Except Ben? What was he doing here?..i walked passed him not making eye contact and stumbled to make it to the back of the classroom away from all those eyes, away from the stares, away from everything, it was my own little corner. I learnt that if you stayed away from everyone they will forget you, I sat down and changed the song on my ipod, My favourite.. I resight the word one by one in my head “O Death, come near me! Be the one for me, be the one who stays. My rivers are frozen, and mischosen, and the shadows around me sickens my heart .O Death, come near me,
and stay (by my side). Hear my silent cry! In sadness I'm veiled, to the cross I am nailed,
and the pain around me freezes my world My cold world...”” Alyssa”. I open my eyes, “Alyssa”. I turn to face the voice, “Ben?’ “you talk?” I turn back around and stare out the window. “Alyssa..im sorry”, I must be hearing things is all that I could think. He didn’t just say that I am dreaming, Ben would never say that, he never apologises. There was a ring in my ears as my song came to an end, The bell…the long awaited bell, I got up grabbed my bag but as I started to walk I felt a cold touch on my hand, I jumped and pulled away, I looked up at the culprit. BEN?..What did he want; I looked away and walked faster.

I forgot everything except the way to my English class, I walk so fast it felt nlike I was running until I saw the room, 803, I opened the door and waited for the stares, they stop, there was all but dead silence, I was the first one there besides three little girls at the front of the room with their books out ready to work. I walk to the back of the room and sat down. I grabbed out all of my second hand books and my chewed up pencils and put my head on the indented desk and closed my eyes. I kept them closed and as students collected in you could hear the door creaking as it open and shut 21 times. I was waiting for the creak to send the room quiet. Until then I would deal with the sound of my name 20 times over. The sound of girls giggling about their weekends and the banging at the desk by all the want to be drummers. Then came the noise. Creak. “Quiet class”. The gossip stop. The chairs skidded and the room silent. Class had begun.

As I walked out the gates after my first of many days at the school. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of hate for everything. All that was useful about this school…was my iPod. The only thing that was ever there for me not even my own father could stick around after my mother’s death. He ran off with some young blonde girl that looked like my mum and left me alone. I try to see the good side of all this that one day I will believe that I could be loved, that one day I could trust someone again, that one day my life will be full if hope. That day will not exist until the day that I know who killed my mother.

That person left her dead, naked body lying on her bed. I remember that day. I was with Ben. We were a couple back then, Ben and I, I was happy, health, I had a future. We left my house at 8am to head down to the river for the day. Mum and dad were planning on meeting us there at 12pm to have lunch with us and we were then going to head to ben’s house so that we could enjoy his mother’s home cooked roast for dinner. I remember swimming and laughing, but the water began to grow cold. I remember shivering and trying to stay warm by cuddling up to ben but it was no use. I had want to wait for mum and dad but we had to get out. I remember collecting up my towel and phone all in one grip and as I put my towel around my shivering body. I remember the feeling as I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3pm. Seeing that something was not right, that something had happen. I knew as I collect up my clothes into a big pile and ran to the car as it began to hail what felt like giant hard cystals on my skin that…Things were about to change…FOREVER.

I realised as I woke up that I had dreamt that dream again, never getting up to the part that I so desperately want to forget because I knew the pain that would come with it. I knew that thee time that I had told myself that none of this was my fault would vanish and I would be left with nothing but myself hate for the rest of my life. I had to stay strong. As I got out of my bed and walk to the shower I felt a pain in my stomach, not my normal pain. No this was different it was like being stabbed. I look down, I had stab wounds. I was bleeding. NO. No. this wasn’t possible. That couldn’t be. I looked up, took a breathe and looked back down. They were gone. But were those wounds were, there were scares. The same size, shape, everything was the same except they look years not minutes old.

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