My life as it know

My life as it know(Halle b.) What kind of world do we live in when a child gets bullied by her own parents and friends? A pretty messed up one I think. Today I'm going to tell you my story, it all started in the 6th grade. I had a major crush on the popular jock. Me being the chubby girl with glasses, with 2 friends, I knew he was way out of my league. Something about him made me like him so much but I didn't know what. Maybe it was his good looks, his smile, his killer abs, or maybe it was because he was one of the only guys that had been nice to me. Until he became friends with the snob. she turned him into the typical jock and then it happened. that's when it all started. My friend and I were comparing stomachs and he yelled, ew, put that away. everyone was laughing. I felt like jumping into the river and never coming back, but all I did was take it.

A year went by and for some stupid reason I still liked him, and being childish I sent him a note at lunch saying, do you like me? check yes or no. Well him and the two snobs video taped it and came over to me and he crumbled up the paper and threw it at me. I guess that wouldn't have been that bad if he didn't say, ew no, she's a fat cow, in the video and put the video on Facebook. That hurt allot and changed my whole perspective about him.

I eventually got over it, thinking that was going to be the worst thing to happen to me, but I had no idea what was coming to me when I went to high school. The beginning was alright, I met new people, the usual. It wasn't until a couple of weeks I got my first taste of the real hurt of high school. I felt bold that day so instead of my usual hoodie and jeans I wore a v neck and short. one of my "friends" came up to me just to say, 'Wow! you're actually really fat'. I pretended that I didn't care but on the inside I felt like breaking down and crying.

When my mom came home I told her what happened and all she had to say was, "See I told you, You should really go to the gym and watch what you eat". All I could think was, did that just happen? I cried myself to sleep that night.

A couple months passed and I finally got to vist my grandma, grandpa, uncle and cousins with my dad and his girl friend. The first thing my grandma said to me when I walked in the door was, "Halle you're too fat, you got to go to the gym." as I stood there stunned my dad was yelling at her for saying something like that. That night for dinner I asked my grandpa to move his chair but he didn't hear me so my dads girl friend spoke up for me and he said, "She can move, she needs the exercise, she's too fat". At this point I started to believe everyone. I mean, no one was arguing with them saying different.

After a while I started to become depressed, but the thing that pushed me overboard was when my mom was angry with my sister. I told her to settle down because it wasn't a big deal and she said, "Shut up and go exercise you fat lazy waste of space". I ran to my room crying and picked up a bobby pin and started cutting. I don't know why but it just felt right. From then on that's what I did when my mom or someone else hurt me. I eventually upgraded to scissors and started going deeper and deeper until I saw my friend had scars on her arm, I finally wasn't alone. I pulled her away from everyone and asked her about it and she admitted it. I could see that she was ashamed so I told her that I did also. she looked so happy and she told me she thought she was alone and we have been really close ever since.

Months passed and I didn't have any urges at all until one night my dad and I went out for dinner and when we came home I went up stairs but overheard my parents conversation. My dad was mad because I wasn't into any sports and they both went off about how fat and lazy I was. I went up to my step dad, who was sitting on his butt in front of the TV like always, and I said "I hope they know I can hear them." instead of saying something to cheer me up he said, "well you do need to exercise, you're getting kind of big". I ran to my room crying my eyes out thinking, does everyone think I'm a fat waste of space? Yep, you guessed it, I brought out the scissors.

The next day I heard a crazy rumor that my friend cut herself so I texted her and found out it was true. she thought I was going to hate her for it so I told her I did too. We were best friends before but now we have a bond. There wasn't a week to go by without my mom or step dad yelling at me for no reason so there were more and more scars on my wrist. then I thought, why am I punishing myself for what other people are doing to me? So I started drinking and having fun. I wasn't just drinking palms bays that most grade 9's do, I was drinking vodka and rum. Every time I went to a party I forgot about everything and let loose and had some fun. Until one night I told everyone there I cut and made a huge fool of myself. I also got into my first fight, but it was with my good friend and I ending up cutting her finger open because I threw a piece of glass at her. We made up and laugh about it now, but ever since then people thought I was really annoying and hated me a lot. enough to plan a party behind my back. and when I found out my own friends were doing this I wanted to cry. My two good friends of that group got me an invite though and I still don't quite remember what happened that night. The following Monday there was a rumor that I was a huge fake and I faked being drunk. everyone started making jokes and being very harsh about it. They asked me if Halle was my real name and if that was my real hair color etc. I thought nothing of it and proved to them next party by chugging a mickey of 40% vodka in front of everyone and killed that rumor!

Now the story comes up too last Friday night a bunch of my friends were chilling having a girls night at the beach and out of nowhere a whole bunch of people from our school show up. It really became a good time, especially because the guy I like was there. but he was with another girl, but I didn't care ,they were just friends. I was walking with them, oddly enough they went into the nearby forest and I looked around to see where the heck we were and saw they were really far away so I ran to catch up with them. I fell over a log and really screwed up my ankle. There I was on the ground in pain asking them to help me up but all they did was look back and kept walking, so I was lost, stumbling to find my way out of the forest. All of a sudden someone screams COPS! I started running as fast as I could and ran right into my crush, but instead of helping me up he just leaves. then my friend Amanda helps me up and we all run down the beach only to find out that it wasn't the cops. We eventually stumbled home and fell asleep.

So there you have it, my life as I know it and it's just getting started.