Life With a Drunk - My Worst Fear Come To Life

Life With a Drunk - My Worst Fear Come To Life(Nellie) It started when I was little... maybe even before that. My dad began drinking. And now my life is horrible.

When I was young, my dad would drink. Finally, at age nine, I couldn't stand it any more. I wrote him a letter and begged him to stop. So he did for a bit.

When my dad is drunk he goes on about how great our life is, how wonderful the economy is, that sort of stuff. But if you say just a single word to tick him off, he'll slap you. It sucks. The pain is like being hit with a thousand knives. And my father, being overweight and muscular, no one can help but cry.

I recall this one time when my brother and I got into a fight. It was something dumb, but i don't remember what it was. But he started yelling at me. Then my drunk father called us in. We exchanged looks of pain.

"What are you fighting about?" he asked. My brother told him reluctantly.

"Nellie," he said, "Did you really do that?" I nodded. "Get on the bed."

The next thing I know he was pulling down my pants. "NO!" I screamed. "PLEASE DON'T SPANK ME!"

"NO!" My brother yelled.

"SHUT UP!" He shot at us.

I remember all my screaming and crying. I recall my brother trying to comfort me. And most horrifying of all, I remember my father laughing like this was some big joke. Then he sent us to our rooms.

Later that night my mother came home. After she learned what my father did, she took us to a hotel. I didn't cry when we left him. But I did when we had to return in the morning.

My father was my own living nightmare.

One year later my mother filed for a divorce. I couldn't sleep at night. I failed in school. And I couldn't tell my brother.

Soon, my parents used me as a messenger. My father would tell me to ask her, "Why do you want to leave me?" Then she would answer, "I'm not happy, the kids aren't happy, so deal with it."

Then they'd question me. My father would ask me, "Who do you like better?" and I'd tell him, "You." But I didn't. I was scared of him.

I would deny that my drunk father would torture me.

And he still does.