One time, forever.(Rayray) My first kiss was on a friday afternoon. I was 13 years old, at a friend's birthday party, playing "seven minutes in heaven". Stupidest game ever. I got in there with the boy, kissed him really quickly, and walked out with a red face. So did he. I knew who he was, and I regretted it. His name was Alex Jackson, short, chubby, annoying. He was never popular, while I was.

I was popular because I was 'beautiful'. I use the punctuation because I still don't know what the true definition of beautiful is. I was alright, I guess. Roundish face, thick, long, brown hair, big blue eyes, long lashes, and I was tall and slim, model's body. I ignored the teasing and looked over at Alex. He was smiling so wide that I couldn't help but groan. It was embarrassing.

The next year, he moved from Canada to the USA. He didn't get any goodbyes, not really. I certainly didn't say anything. Why not? I was idiotic, judging people by how they looked.

The rest of the year was terrible. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I just kept seeing an empty seat where he used to sit. I thought that maybe I was just wondering who would sit there next. But the spot wasn't filled for the rest of the year.

The next year, 2 years after my first kiss, I had my first boy friend. He was good-looking, funny, and an absolute jerk. I had to push him off of me when he went too far, when he crossed the line. But one night he wouldn't stop, and I wasn't strong enough to push him off.

A year after that terrible incident, I was resorting to drugs. Alcohol. My parents hated me, my friends left me. So I would sit by myself everyday, thinking about my first kiss.

Finally, when I was 17, HE came back. Alex, my first kiss. But he wasn't Alex. He was tall and slim, and handsome. He got alot of attention. By this time I wasn't doing drugs. But I didn't have any friends left. They had abandoned me when I was going through the hardest part of my life. I was back to myself on the outside, in looks, but on the inside? I was dying. But Alex saw me. He walked up, and asked, "You were my first kiss, right?"
And I nodded.
We became friends, and then best friends. We grew closer. I made new friends through him, friends that actually cared for me. I wasn't incredibly popular, but I was happy for once.

Grade 12 started. We applied for scholarships. I worked incredibly hard, all because Aelx was encouraging me. I worked hard, and was awarded with a scholarship to a university. But not Alex's. No, he was going to a different one. When I found out I cried and cried. I couldn't stand the thought of us being separated.

The day I left for university was a sad one. Alex gave me a huge hug, and I went to go to medical school to get an internship. Alex was going to try to become a child psychiatrist. He went back to the states. But I was never able to talk to him. Because we fell out of touch. I was still stupid, still not realizing I loved him.

5 years later, we had a high school reunion. I was doing well, and when I walked into the gym people were actually nice to me, unlike the high school days, I nearly started crying. When I saw Alex, I ran to him and hugged him. We went out for coffee. Once, twice, three times. More and more, we became more and more serious, until he asked me to go on a date.
Did I say yes? Well, I can't answer that, because my daughter, Alexis Jackson, is tugging at my sleeve, begging me to go wait for daddy at the bus stop.

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