Goodbye.

Goodbye.(Markella) "It's not fair" you said to yourself over and over again. "Why me? Why?" You were sick of it. 4 years straight... No one. Going to school everyday trying to change to make them happy.

Going to lunch with no one by your side because the moment you arrive they all leave the table, calling you everything but your name may i remind you again just call me rachel.

You tell yourself "your a failure rachel they are obviously right! Stop trying rachel!" You stand up and make your way to the kitchen, you pick up your favourite cereal but stop, you drop it and think "i cant eat this i need to lose weight" so you quickly go to brush your hair you tie it in a high ponytail and get dressed in your favourite black jeans and gray jumper, you grab your bag and go to school.

You start walking down the street and see the bus you missed drive pass, the popular girls are laughing at you and calling you a low life ugly slut. You clench your fists and continue walking, holing back tears you go the back way seeing it takes longer because you wanted more time to yourself so you could think.

You see your school in the distance and stop.
You take a deep breath in and wipe a tear away as it trailed down your rosy red cheeks as you walk into school. You walk to your locker, as you arrive you see written in big letters on your locker "ugly". You punch the locker and start having blood run down your fingers but you didn't seem to care. You throw your locker door open to have notes fall on to the floor you pick them up and read each of them "ugly, slut, stupid, eww, no one likes you,go die"

You throw them on the floor and slam your locker shut. You go to your class knowing you are 40minutes late and you can not stand the teacher who will be standing in your class room waiting for you to come late so she can scream at you. As you push open the door your hand is now covered in blood and you sit down in the back corner, your teacher gives you the look and you crack "YES I AM LATE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BULLSH!T OPINION I KNOW IM LATE I DO NOT NEED A LECTURE OKAY!?!?!?" Your teacher shakes her head and just continues to talk to the class.

The bell rings and you run out of class, more notes in your locker but you don't bother to read them, you walk down the hallway and open the door to the cafeteria and all you get is a salad and water you walk to the single table in the back corner next to the bin. You sit and hold your pain and anger back, you hear every other student talking about you they start calling you more names and throwing food at you. You can't help but run out and you kept running till you got tripped by one of the older girls she starts laughing at you as you get up and punch the glass cabinet out of anger.

You walk out of the school and go home, mum is home but to drunk to care about you while dad is home for once but of coarse with another woman in his bed, your little sister is outside she doesn't know your home. You slam your door shut and sit on your bed crying, you can't breath you start shacking and you eventually pass out.

You woke up from the sound of screaming dad was beating mum you are use to it, you hide under your bed when it happens but this time dad found you. You calls you a dumb slut and a failure and throws you against the wall then kicks you as he walks out...

You struggle as you getup, you limp to your draw and get paper and a pen. You limp to the bathroom locking the door behind you, as you sit on the floor you start writing..
"Dear mum and dad,
I am so sorry for turning out the way I have. I'm so sorry for making your life miserable I wish I was better. I know doing this has made your life better I love you, always have, always will. Tell my little princess i love her tell her i will see her soon i have gone to help God with some homework. Tell everyone at school I hope they are happy and they were right about everything they said. I love you mum and dad and I hope you two live healthier and happier lives.

-Rachel xoxo"

You sit in the bath and grab your razor taking out a blade you start crying again.. You hold the blade to your wrist and push down and slide across and say "this is for not being pretty and thin" you cut deeply again saying"this is for not being good enough for my parents" the third time you cut you cry "this is for not being a smart student" you keep cutting saying the reasons why. Your now sitting in your blood crying shacking... You take the blade push it into your wrists and slide "this is for being me" you drop the blade and slowly everything goes black your heart rate slows and you whisper "goodbye" your eyes shut and your heart stops...

Your gone no undo button you are gone never coming back your away from the pain but now the pain has gone to others. Your parents are sick from the stress of it all they miss your voice they miss you... They wish they would of just listened to you, they blame it on themselves.

The girls at school they haven't changed they are happier then ever like you knew they would be. Your teacher well she quit her job lost her husband she blames this all on herself, she is addicted to drugs it helps with the pain. Your little sister, she cries everyday she misses you so much she wished she could go and help God with his homework just so she can see you, you were her everything she loved you she really needs you.