The over-watered plant

The over-watered plant(Tami) This story was written as an apology to a well-meaning friend who offered a bit too much unsolicited parenting advice on a regular basis. Sometimes, people have to be allowed to make mistakes in order to grow and learn - even with something as crucial as child-rearing. As you read, I hope you will be able to identify the similarities between the story's events, raising children, and receiving tons of advice to do so.


The Over-Watered Plant


It was an average Thursday afternoon. Julia had just completed her shift at the hospital, and was headed home for the day. As she unlocked her car and tossed her purse into the passenger side, she groaned, remembering that she needed to stop by the market on the way home today. Earlier in the week, she had agreed to have her dear friend and neighbor Sarah over for dinner this evening. Although she was exhausted from her day, she knew that once the meal preparation was behind her, that she would be glad for Sarah's company.

Once home, she took the groceries inside, and made a mental note to come back outside and water her plant before starting dinner. To Julia, this was no ordinary plant. She had purchased it two years prior as a treat to herself, and loved it dearly. The leaves were a deep, rich green, and the blooms were intermittent, but lovely when they did appear. The plant, despite being an inanimate object, seemed to have a personality all it's own. At times it would perk up beautifully, while other times, it would droop - almost as though it was pouting for some unknown reason.

Julia began dinner, then filled her watering pitcher. As she walked outside and began to pour the precious liquid into the plant's pot, Sarah appeared across the lawn, wearing her usual smile. She walked up and casually said, "You water that plant too much, ya know..." Julia said, "Nah, it was bone dry. It needed some water." Julia briefly wondered if Sarah was right about the watering, but shrugged it off as the two went inside.

They enjoyed a chef salad for dinner, and chatted the evening away. When it was time to say goodnight, Julia walked Sarah out the door, as they were still engaged in conversation. When finished talking, the girls said goodnight. Before leaving, Sarah turned back and called, "And don't be watering that plant so much!"

Julia felt a little uneasy about Sarah's suggestion. After all, she had taken care of the plant, loved and nurtured it for two years, and it was lovely! "Oh well" she thought, and turned off the porch light.

A few days later, Sarah stopped by to drop off some mail of Julia's that had been misboxed. The two were chit-chatting by the door, and Julia absent-mindedly poked her finger into the soil of her plant, checking for moisture. Sarah noticed this and said, "Now don't you GIVE that thing any more water. It doesn't need it!" Julia felt extremely irritated. She cut the conversation short, and went inside the house.

Two days later, Julia was having a horrible day at work. Two nurses had called in sick, and she had 4 more patients than normal to attend to. She was not able to leave work on time, and wound up getting home a couple of hours late. Too tired and annoyed to worry about dinner, she just grabbed her watering pitcher as usual, filled it with water, and stepped outside to water her plant. Sarah was just pulling in from work herself, and jokingly called across the lawn, "You just can't help yourself CAN you..."

Julia was in no mood for this. She scowled at Sarah, and disappeared into the house. Confused by the reaction, Sarah immediately walked over to Julia's door and knocked. Julia snatched it open and hissed, "Yes?" Sarah said, "Ok, what was THAT all about??"

Julia said, "I'm just tired of you telling me how much to water my plant!" Sarah, visibly shocked, replies "Man, I'm sorry! I didn't know it made you so angry, and besides, you DO water it too much, you're gonna drown it!"

Now even angrier, Julia snapped, "Well I've had this plant for several years, and I've done pretty well with it so far! Why don't you just leave me alone about the plant, alright?? It's MY plant! I'll water it just as much as I want!"

"Well fine!" Sarah said. She quickly walked out the backdoor, with no intentions of returning - ever.

The next few days were pretty quiet. Julia's work situation normalized, and she was able to get some rest. She would glance toward Sarah's house when she came and went, but the two former friends no longer spoke. Julia would take pains to assure that Sarah was not in the yard when she was.

Sunday morning arrived. From peering out the window, Julia could tell that it was to be a gorgeous day! Her mind flickered on Sarah, and briefly wished that they were not at odds with each other. This would have been the perfect morning to sit outside together and enjoy their morning coffee. She thrust her door open, anxious to take in the fresh air.

As her eyes fell on her beloved plant, she let out a sharp gasp. It was nearly dead! It's once-vibrant leaves were pale and droopy. She was in disbelief as she touched the fragile leaves and examined the almost lifeless stems.

At that time, her other neighbor showed up her right. "Good morning Julia, I saw you outside here and thought I'd say hi. You put in so many hours at work, I never see you any more!"

Julia ripped her attention away from her plant and smiled at Mrs. Davis. She had always thought the world of Mrs. Davis, and had admired her incredible knowledge of plants and flowers. There was no plant that Mrs. Davis could not identify!

Julia responded, "Oh, hello Mrs. Davis, I was just looking over my poor plant here to see if I could figure out what was wrong. I don't get it - I have never neglected it one bit!"

Mrs. Davis stepped up to the plant and surveyed it thoughtfully.

She looked at Julia and said, "It looks like you've over-watered it, my dear..."


(When a mom loves her children sooo much, it's quite easy to "over-water" them. It takes time, effort, and in some cases biting of the tongue, but hopefully she can learn to allow her children to sprout, and eventually bloom, instead of "drowning" them, and alienating the priceless "Sarah's" in her life.)