Day in the Life - Mia(Anna Bedell) I get up from bed at 7:45.
It is Sunday.
My sulking body brings me up,
And walks me over to the bathroom.

I brush my teeth,
Wash my face,
Use the toilet.

Then I step out and get dressed.
I grab my bag and leave the house.
Just like that.

It is cold out today.
I should’ve brought a jacket,
But it is too late.
I never want to be in that house anyway
And I’m certainly not going back in for a
Jacket.

I live downtown,
Close to all of the stores and
Restaurants.
I go into a bakery and grab a pastry.
I eat it on the way to work.

I work in a little shop
Where artists come to sell
All their products.
Clothing, paintings, furniture,
Magnets.

The place is rustic,
A homey feel to it.
I’ve worked here 2 years now,
And it feels more like home than
My own house.

The manager acts like my mom.
Did you eat enough today.
Do you need a ride home.
How’s your love life.
I respond like any other teen would.
Yes.
No.
Non-existent.

I just haven’t met anyone.
There’s no time in the day
And I don’t care.

I’m at work until lunch.
I go to the bakery and get a pastry.
Then I go back.
When it’s dinner, I leave work
For real this time
And go to the bakery again.
I’m their favorite customer.

I hate going home.
I walk around downtown instead.
I know it’s dangerous and scary
And I don’t care.
Anything to be out of that
Empty
Lonely
House.

When it’s almost 11pm,
I drag myself over to the house
And walk inside.
Empty.
Per usual.

I walk to the bathroom.

I brush my teeth,
Wash my face,
Use the toilet.

Then my sulking body brings me to my bedroom
And brings me down.
I fall asleep,
Just like that.

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Radrook

08/04/2021

Very interesting story written in a poetic free verse style. Well, n my case, as is also the case with the readers who have already provided feedback, it succeeded in conveying the intense lonliness and feeling of utter futility felt by Mia the protagonist. True, we aren't told her age nor anything about her physical appearance. Is she young? Old? Black? White? Stout? Slim? Short? Tall? Blo...
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Very interesting story written in a poetic free verse style. Well, n my case, as is also the case with the readers who have already provided feedback, it succeeded in conveying the intense lonliness and feeling of utter futility felt by Mia the protagonist. True, we aren't told her age nor anything about her physical appearance. Is she young? Old? Black? White? Stout? Slim? Short? Tall? Blond? etc.

Nor are we told the specific reasons why she feels the way she does concernig the house she repetedly mentions as source of her discomfort and which she so much despises nor why she prefers to be alone and doesn't care.

Of course, there can be many reasons for this, such as extreme old age, severe illness, the mourning due to the recent loss of a dear one to death. All these can certainly induce the total indifference that Mia is describing. But for the purpose of the story, which is to convey the predominant mood that Mia is feeling, they are really non-essential..

I also like the way that within her indifference, there are people who express concern for her well-being in stark contrast to her rtotally uncaring attitude. This contrast reminds us of the normal way that she should be feeling about herself but yet doesn't. A sort of suble contrasting of sanity with insanity. Also I like the rep[eated regerebnces to that mysteriously, ominous house as if it were linked to her condition in some way and lead the reader to wonder just how this might be so.

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JD

07/31/2018

Hi Anna, Thanks for sharing your melancholy fiction story on Storystar and congratulations on being chosen as one of the Short Story STARS of the Week! :-)

Hi Anna, Thanks for sharing your melancholy fiction story on Storystar and congratulations on being chosen as one of the Short Story STARS of the Week! :-)

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Kevin Hughes

07/30/2018

Jd and Hannah caught the story behind your story- so did I. Great job. Smiles, Kevin

Jd and Hannah caught the story behind your story- so did I. Great job. Smiles, Kevin

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Hannah

07/28/2018

This poem is very depressing, and very well written! This is great because it gives me a classic example of a boring, everyday lifestyle that I can avoid. But it makes me feel for her, and I love it in that way. This is really beautiful!

This poem is very depressing, and very well written! This is great because it gives me a classic example of a boring, everyday lifestyle that I can avoid. But it makes me feel for her, and I love it in that way. This is really beautiful!

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JD

07/17/2018

Your poem tells a short story that seems to ring true, as though a real life story of someone just going through the motions of life. It left me feeling somewhat sad and empty, and hoping that things turn around in a more positive direction for the person in the story.

Your poem tells a short story that seems to ring true, as though a real life story of someone just going through the motions of life. It left me feeling somewhat sad and empty, and hoping that things turn around in a more positive direction for the person in the story.

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