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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Fairy Tales & Fantasy
- Subject: Poems & Songs
- Published: 06/22/2021
Ignored by the Rings
Born 1976, M, from Whitechapel, AustraliaOut of all the well-known Shire Folk,
You will not know my name,
I was never chums with Samwise,
I don’t wear cool jewelry on a chain
Yet, I put in so much effort,
To join up with The Nine,
I ran all the way to Rivendell,
But missed Elrond’s deadline
I bummed around for ages,
Waiting on The Fellowship’s return,
Fizzing when I heard the happy news,
That The Ring by Doom was burned
But with your newfound notoriety,
Ya’ll had no time for one like me,
Not Wizard, Dwarf, nor Mortal Man,
Not even Pippin or Merry
I’m no Bracegirdle from Hardbottle,
I get you’re famous now, Frodo,
There’s your book-tour to consider,
Could you find time to be my bro, though?
Boromir—I know you’re dead and gone,
Yet, you could haunt me now and then,
And Aragorn, you’re always Ara-gone!
They say you’ll ‘return’, but Ar-when?
Gandalf—you’re a mystery,
You say: ‘I cannot pass’,
One day you’re gray, the next: you’re white,
Perhaps I’ll hang with Legolas
Gimli—you've hurt me the most,
Toward you this poem’s most geared,
You’ve mocked me for my silken cheeks,
You know I cannot grow a beard!
One verse used to shame them all,
One verse calls them out as dorks,
One verse has failed to bring them all,
Think I’ll hang out with some Orcs.
Ignored by the Rings(Jason James Parker)
Out of all the well-known Shire Folk,
You will not know my name,
I was never chums with Samwise,
I don’t wear cool jewelry on a chain
Yet, I put in so much effort,
To join up with The Nine,
I ran all the way to Rivendell,
But missed Elrond’s deadline
I bummed around for ages,
Waiting on The Fellowship’s return,
Fizzing when I heard the happy news,
That The Ring by Doom was burned
But with your newfound notoriety,
Ya’ll had no time for one like me,
Not Wizard, Dwarf, nor Mortal Man,
Not even Pippin or Merry
I’m no Bracegirdle from Hardbottle,
I get you’re famous now, Frodo,
There’s your book-tour to consider,
Could you find time to be my bro, though?
Boromir—I know you’re dead and gone,
Yet, you could haunt me now and then,
And Aragorn, you’re always Ara-gone!
They say you’ll ‘return’, but Ar-when?
Gandalf—you’re a mystery,
You say: ‘I cannot pass’,
One day you’re gray, the next: you’re white,
Perhaps I’ll hang with Legolas
Gimli—you've hurt me the most,
Toward you this poem’s most geared,
You’ve mocked me for my silken cheeks,
You know I cannot grow a beard!
One verse used to shame them all,
One verse calls them out as dorks,
One verse has failed to bring them all,
Think I’ll hang out with some Orcs.
- Share this story on
- 5
Andre Michael Pietroschek
05/03/2022While all fantasy roleplayers know Halfling means Hobbit, the Tolkien canon chose the latter word. Splendid poem, as I side with a fellow bummer! LOL. I rated 5 stars.
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Jason James Parker
05/07/2022Thank you, Andre. Writing silly poems seems--for me, at least--a hard Hobbit to break! Lol.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Gail Moore
06/23/2021Awesome, you really need to send your work to Sir Peter Jackson. He would love it. :-)
It's so him.
COMMENTS (5)