Boy Talk(Gerald R Gioglio) “Mr. Jerry, you are very cool. But you can’t draw, and you suck at games.”
-JV-

Yep, that’s what a 10-year-old boy told me, his mentor, even as I playfully insisted, “Yeah, but I bet you didn’t know I can draw killer stick people.”

This memory came to me while purging old files and coming across one labeled “Mentor.” Inside I found a handful of photos, sketches, and thank you notes from some of the boys I worked with years ago, along with certificates of appreciation from the elementary school that administered the program.

For a couple years in the early 2000s I joined a handful of men who also volunteered to mentor young boys. I really can’t remember how many young lads I worked with, but I do know I had a couple for an entire school year.

The young fellows I worked with often had absent or difficult fathers. In any case, these boys were causing some low-level mischief at home or school. These were not bad kids; they were just acting out, but with enough attitude to scare nervous mothers and educators into action. The idea was to provide an additional male presence to hopefully change bad behavior before it got out of hand.

The mentoring program involved meeting the boys after school in a vacant schoolroom. I always felt a bit nostalgic when entering an empty classroom, savoring the familiar environment while taking in the pleasant smell of chalk dust and Crayola crayons.

Each room featured a number of computers available for Google searches or to play video games with the boys. We were not allowed to leave the grounds so, for the most part, we stayed inside. Sometimes, however, a boy would want to throw a ball around, so we’d venture outside to play catch.

Our time together also involved playing card games or watching short videos. I always prided myself in being an “early adopter” of computer technology, but these Generation Z kids soon taught this aging Baby Boomer a few tricks when it came to things electronic. I quickly came to realize that when going online I was just a “virtual visitor," and this generation of kids were actually “virtual residents.”

It was always an adventure when these young guys were let loose on a keyboard. Having been a proficient prankster when I was a lad, I quickly learned that part of being a mentor—and especially being online-- involved trying to get a rise out of the adult in the room. For example, imagine my surprise when a kid called up a video featuring an adventurous young boy shooting off bottle rockets from a small baton strategically placed between the cheeks of his rear end.

What the….! That one caught me off guard. Look let’s get real. Kids crave, but really don’t appreciate adult advice either because they already know what they should or should not do, or they just don’t want to be told what to do. So, for the most part, my job was to listen and respond, joke around with these youngsters and when the time seemed right, to offer some suggestions or advice. In this case, I countered with a story about a clown doing stunts when I was a child who strongly suggested that kids, “Do not try this at home.”

Trust me when I say you have to stay on your toes when volunteering as a mentor. I quickly learned to expect the unexpected as I never knew what would come out of the mouths of these babes.

Telling stories from my past seemed to resonate with the boys. The problem being I had to draw from dusty impressions drifting around in those dimly lit hallways of vanishing childhood memories. Luckily, a number of my mischievous boyhood adventures came to mind and as we compared stories, I was able to draw them out a bit.

For example, one kid told me how he registered his disapproval when being forced to accompany adults to a place where, it was said, “we’ll all have fun.” The idea was to absolutely refuse to do anything once they arrived at the promised Nirvana. This completely frazzled the grownups, much to the silent joy of this cunning young man.

I told him how as kids we discouraged nonresidents from driving down our street and interrupting our playtime. We always had a 2 x 4 nearby to shock and annoy these periodic trespassers. As they slowly drove by, one of the boys would throw the 2 x 4 under a back tire as another boy would scream in agony
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It worked every time. Thinking they hit a kid, anxious drivers would jump out of the car frantically looking around for a body, only to be greeted by a group of kids laughing hysterically—every single one of us prepared to run if the situation demanded it.

Bottom line: we never saw that car or driver violate our space again.

So now you’re probably saying, “Talk about some boys needing mentors! You kids were horrid.” Hmm, you’re probably right.

Anyway, sharing stories strengthened our connection. It helped the boys understand that others-- especially those much older than them -- also got into mischief when they were young. It helped them think about their own situations and consider that perhaps they weren’t so different, and they weren’t so bad. Plus, it provided an opportunity to discuss better ways of handling difficult situations and getting along with the troublesome adults in their lives.

Consider this: “The phrase ‘boys will be boys,’ reflects that a male child is expected to be unpredictable and occasionally troublesome.” -K.J. Oldster-
Troublesome, yes. But so grateful for being able to share time with someone who was there just for them. I know, because here in their own hand are a few thank you cards I got from some of the boys I mentored.

Dear Mr. Jerry,

“It has bin great. I’ve had a great time. I liked when we played cards. It went on and on with ‘War.’ It was fun though. I hope we could see each other next year. I will miss you to. “
Your friend, Alex
“PS: From Mom. Thank you for being so good to Alex.”

To Mr. Jerry,

“Thank you for a wonderful year.”
From Joey

Dear Mr. Jerry,

“I had a very fun time with you. It was so fun drawing pictures with you. I hope you had a great time. I hope I will see you again. Thank you for everything you did for me.”
Your friend,
A.C.

I mean, after you receive treasures like this from kids, you gotta’ ask yourself that familiar question –one whose answer resides in simply asking-- “Does it get any better than this?”

Okay, call me nostalgic, but I couldn’t purge that particular file. Too many smiles, too many teary-eyed memories of getting in touch with my inner child while working and playing with these sometimes difficult, always affable, very special young guys.

Author’s note: The accompanying picture is the cover of a thank you card I received from one of the boys.

THE END
© 2022, Gerald R Gioglio

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