Frozen on Key Largo(Dill McLain) The two scientists, Sverre from Norway and Tobi from Switzerland, stood somewhat lost on the podium, and seemed amazed by the thunderous applause in the vast hall. They alternately gazed into the audience, then to the lectern, and finally, they looked at each other several times, shrugging their shoulders almost in disbelief. The older gentleman at the lectern was beaming like a Christmas tree, and one could tell that he was incredibly proud. The 91-year-old Emeritus Professor of Glaciology was tasked with honouring the most outstanding publication at the end of this year’s annual worldwide Congress of Glaciologists, held in Montreal, Canada. The winners, Sverre and Tobi, did not know each other before but worked together online on their paper and contribution to this annual event after meeting in an online forum about glaciology issues. Both were interested in a theory that had no longer been pursued but that had been put forward many years ago by the 91-year-old Canadian glaciologist who is now retired. He came from a wealthy family whose ancestors had emigrated initially from Scotland.
His joy about the late recognition of his scientific theses from many years back was so overwhelming that he spontaneously decided to give the two winners a personal prize. He offered them a trip to Key Largo, where he regularly used to spend sailing holidays with his whole family.
Sverre and Tobi were thrilled and thanked him happily on the microphone, noting that they had never been on vacation before, for which they received laughter in the large hall and renewed applause.

Three days later, they landed in Miami, stocked up on smart beachwear, and then drove to Key Largo in a rental car. On the way, they told each other their life stories in outline. Both were unmarried and without a steady girlfriend. They simply did not have time for it, because after studying came the harsh reality of the stressful job of a research assistant, and the constant striving for advancement in their careers. Both had recently been appointed assistant professors at well-known universities.
They had booked online a hyper-modern hotel on Key Largo that was touted as futuristic. The 3-room suite offered breathtaking sea views from the large terrace. The furnishings were generous, classic-futuristic. In the salon, a gigantic refrigerator in moss-green that reached to the ceiling caught the eye. It must have been a whim of the interior designer. In addition to a bathroom with a modern whirlpool and a simple shower in one corner, there was a multi-faceted shower with various water jets.

The two men had just completed their first tour when a voice rang out, “Welcome! I’m Muk, your butler!” Sverre and Tobi looked around in surprise and noticed an unexpected apparition in the corridor. Both were not prepared for a robot and stared at Muk, speechless.
However, Muk cheerfully continued with a somewhat metallic accent, “Yes, I know, you’re not prepared for that – but that’s exactly the hotel’s futuristic strategy. Please give me your passports now so I can keep them for your stay. You will get them back after successful payment on your departure day!”
The two men handed Muk their passports somewhat hesitantly. He placed them in a small drawer that appeared open in his chest area and immediately closed again.
“So, now I’ll give you a brief overview, and then your vacation can begin. As you have already found out, you get into the flat with the code you received. There is no staff, so there are no people. Everything is done digitally, or by me.”
Muk paused for a moment. The two glaciologists glanced at each other with amused grins.
“There is no instruction manual available. You order online breakfast, snacks or menus, and all will be delivered to your room. I will provide it on the table each time, inside or on the terrace, as you wish. The beds arrange themselves. Every two days, the beds shake the sheets away, and I bring and arrange new bed linen. I also provide the bath linen and take care of the garbage disposal. Whenever you want something, I’m in my niche in the corridor. I wish you an unforgettable stay!” Muk turned around and disappeared.

The two glaciologists stood there, amazed, and frowned at each other for a while. Then, they decided to explore the nearby area. When they returned, their luggage was unpacked, and everything was neatly stored in the wardrobes. Amused, they thanked Muk, ordered dinner online and sat on the terrace with a beer from the huge fridge.
Sverre decided to take a quick shower before dinner and disappeared. Tobi leaned back in his chair and sighed contentedly out to the sea. He already went on a sailing trip – albeit theoretically at first.

Loud shouts from the suite tore him out of his sailing dreams. It was the voice of Sverre who appeared to be cursing in his own dialect. Tobi rushed inside and found Sverre standing in the ultra modern shower. The room floor was flooded, his body covered in foam from head to toe while sharp water fountains sprayed out of several pipes from four directions at the height of his knees. Sverre cursed like an annoyed truck driver and wished the whole modern installation to hell, shouting desperately with a thundering voice, “Please help me and switch off these idiotic pipes flooding my knees and find the proper one to rinse my body!” Tobi could not hold back a smile but briefly investigated the various pipes and possible gargoyles. It seemed strange to him that one did not immediately see any gear levers or small taps on the pipes.
Sverre shouted at him, obviously very annoyed, “Damn it all, go ahead, do something! What are you waiting for?”
Tobi’s peaceful nature did not like being yelled at and replied with a relatively dry voice, “Listen, I’m not a water engineer or pipe specialist. You could have used the shower in the other bathroom, which looks normal!” He grinned at the foamy colleague with these words and accidentally touched the pipe right before his nose. A strong jet of water shot out across the shower. This amused him so much that he patted the same pipe further up, “Good pipe!” This caused a large flood from the massive shower nozzle on the ceiling, probably meant for couples showering together. Tobi was now in his element, and he patted the pipes on the wall, which created more spirals of water from all sides. The water was already running into the corridor in small streams.
“If we were a married couple, I would divorce immediately, believe me. Damn it, turn off this flooding at once!” screamed Sverre at the top of his lungs, swallowing water and wildly gesticulating.

Tobi remained undecided for a moment. But then, as if by magic, all the water jets suddenly stopped. Muk stood next to Tobi and handed Sverre a Terry towel with the words, “Yes, that’s the futuristic technology. It’s a so-called sensor shower. You just need to touch the pipes briefly, so you need to run your hand along them. This will initiate the impulse. To switch it all off, you use this little lever here.”
The two men stared at Muk dumbfounded. Then, they approached the pipes and pushed forward their noses to examine them. When they discovered the almost invisible – because cleverly built-in – water slots, both finally nodded approvingly and repeatedly shrugged with doubtful expressions.
Muk’s voice from the living room took them back to reality, “Dinner is served!”

They went on sailing trips on the Canadian glaciologist’s sailing yacht for the next three days, whose skipper introduced them to the sailing world. Since the skipper then had to travel to Miami for two days on a family business, they decided to explore the surrounding area by car. So after dinner, they studied the map spread out on the table when Muk appeared and announced that the other guests would be grilling marshmallows outside after dark. He recommended that the two of them also participate, as it was a lovely tradition to meet others and hear exciting stories.
Sverre and Tobi liked Muk’s suggestion and joined the others outside after dark, sitting comfortably around the fire and holding their skewered marshmallows. After a short introduction – first name and where from – a friendly conversation immediately got going, and soon bursts of laughter rang out through the night, followed by happy chatter. About half an hour before midnight, the other guests – they were all couples – stood up and waved happily, smiling as they said goodbye.
The two glaciologists got a beer from the fridge and sat on the terrace. It was a fantastic night and both stared up at the star-studded sky for a while, lost in thought.

Suddenly, Tobi began to report into the night that he would really like to have a female partner, but he just could not find one so far. First, it was because of several years of permanent stress and lack of time, and then also because of his clumsiness. He did not know at all how to go about searching or finding. He had even studied online dating platforms and registered and arranged two dates. However, the meetings were a complete disaster across the board. He also booked a hiking trip for singles, assuming they would all look for partners. On the first evening, he realized the naked truth: They were all die-hard loners and did not want any partners. He then tried a cooking class for Indian dishes. They formed small groups and worked through the recipes presented. A beautiful young woman in his group took over the lead. He immediately had a complete crush on her. And he imagined she felt the same way. The cooking class day was the highlight of his week. He even dreamed about her and hoped to be able to tell her this soon. It was clear to him that she would be happy about it. But then came the terrible disillusionment: On the last day of the course, as they enjoyed the celebratory dinner, she mentioned that she was getting engaged the following weekend and was already expecting a child.
“Since then, I’ve practically given up looking or hoping!” Tobi added with a deep sigh.

Sverre stood up, patted his shoulder and said, “I get another round of beer for us. And then, I’ll tell you my nightmare about women!”
During his studies, he had already been engaged to the most beautiful young woman far and wide, and everything looked promising. Shortly after he successfully completed his studies, she told him out of the blue that she loved another man who was much older, much more mature and experienced, and much wealthier. It was an ice-cold slap to his face and his soul. He holed up for weeks and, finally, swore he would never have anything with a female again. Well, he did break that vow once or twice. But something just was never right. He was always terrified of being hit in the face and soul again. Yes, he also had feelings and longings – like most others. He slapped his thighs and shouted into the night sky, “A colleague told me I should go to a brothel every now and then. But I’m not there yet!”

Tobi noticed that tears were rolling down Sverre’s cheeks. He jumped up and said, “Wait, I’ll get another round of beer, and then we’ll discuss a new tactic regarding women. It would be laughable if – now that we are so successful – we couldn’t find what we need!”
A terrible scream shook the night – it came from inside the flat of the two glaciologists. Sverre rubbed his watery eyes in amazement and gazed to the open terrace door.
“Come and help me instantly, it’s vital!” came the voice from inside. Sverre rose and ran off over the terrace and stormed into the salon. Tobi stood in front of the massive refrigerator, carrying in his arms a woman who was apparently frozen. The considerable bottom drawer of the ice compartment was pulled out.
“Please take hold of this lady. There’s another one in the upper drawer. We have to thaw them out. It’s best to place them carefully on the loungers outside and cover them with blankets!” With these words, Tobi placed the frozen woman in Sverre’s arms, who trotted away as in a trance with the unusual load.

Shortly afterwards, the two glaciologists sat on the two loungers’ left and right. The frozen ladies, who both were holding frozen handbags on their chests, were covered with blankets. The two men stared wordlessly into the sea of stars in the night sky.
“I made fresh coffee for you, with a shot of whiskey. You must be awake and strong now. I’ll tell you what happened to the ladies, why they’re frozen!” came Muk’s metal nasal voice from the terrace. As if hypnotized, the men turned their heads and looked at Muk, who was now coming towards them and serving them the coffee as announced. While Sverre and Tobi slowly sipped the hot drink from their mugs, Muk stood before the two loungers with the frozen ladies and explained what had happened.
“The lady on your side, Sverre, is called Dorli. She is from Austria and came with a tall, quite handsome man, double her age, who seemed a bit of a player and a know-it-all, showing rather exalted behaviour. They came here two weeks ago for a three-nights stay. But on the first night – after a romantic champagne session in their bedroom, he went to take a shower and had the same flooding problems, which you two already know. He freaked out and screamed for Dorli several times, but she could not hear him because she had earplugs in. He finally completely lost his control, raced, soaking wet, out of the water-spewing shower room down the hallway into the bedroom and ripped Dorli out of bed. Raging and cursing, he carried her to the moss-green refrigerator, tore open the bottom door and threw Dorli into the freezer compartment. He ran back into the bedroom, grabbed her handbag from the bedside table, rushed back to the fridge and threw it in the freezer, too.”

Sverre and Tobi sat there with open mouths and stared at Dorli, then at Muk, and back again. Finally, Tobi composed himself and asked with an almost sincere expression, albeit with a completely disbelieving undertone in his voice, “And then a week later, the exact same thing happened to the other lady, didn’t it?”
Muk immediately replied, “Yes, exactly a week later, Enna – from Denmark – came with a loudmouth financial guru. It was practically the same as with the other couple, with the difference that Enna was dreaming on the terrace up at the starry sky, also with headphones on, and the financial guru dragged her from there into the house and then, on the spur of the moment, put her in the upper freezer compartment of the moss-green refrigerator.”
For a moment, the three remained speechless. Only the gentle sound of the sea underlined the unusual scene.
Finally, Muk spoke again, “Both gentlemen left early in the morning. They paid for everything and said the ladies would stay here two more days. I had to hand them their passports, that’s the procedure here. Now you know what happened, I will get the ladies’ luggage!”
Muk padded away.

The two men sat there speechless and stared into the night in disbelief. Every now and then they took a quick look at the thawing ladies.
The noise of the two suitcases being pulled by Muk brought them back to reality, and both shouted at once, “Why on earth did you not release and rescue the ladies?”
“Because I’m not programmed for something like that!”
Sverre and Tobi opened their eyes wide in shock and looked at each other with their mouths wide open. While Sverre blew air loudly through his cheeks, Tobi raised his eyes to the stars and screamed, “Halleluja!”
And now two small silver balls rolled out of Muk’s eyes over his face, dropped on his shoulders and fell to the ground.
“What’s happening?” Tobi wanted to know.
“These were two of my tears, the first ones I shed. I’ve a small reservoir of tears inside me for extraordinary moments. I’m so happy now, if I could, I would do a somersault. Because I know that you both really would love to find suitable partners to finally fall in love. And now everything is solved because there they are, lying in front of you, Enna for you, Tobi, and Dorli for you, Sverre!”
Muk bowed, turned around and walked away saying, “See you at breakfast for four lovers!”

“He’s completely out of his mind and surely no one programmed that into him. He seems to be playing with us!” Tobi hissed over the two icy women in the direction of Sverre, who slowly got up and began to inspect the lady on his side. After a while, he noted in his clear and Nordic way, “Well, it might work!” Tobi also stood up and leaned slightly over the lady in front of him, lifted the blanket for a moment, and inspected her from head to toe. Finally, he interjected with a shrug, “Yes, if you think so, then we should actually try it!”
They spent the next few hours dozing in their deck chairs, in between changing the wet blankets twice and wrapping the ladies in new ones. The thawing progressed slowly. But with the first rays of the sun, things progressed faster, and soon the two ladies opened their eyes and looked around, asking one by one, “Who are you?”
The two scientists stood up and introduced themselves politely. Then paused. It was a difficult moment. The ladies now both sat up and asked one after the other, “Where is Jo? Where is Ben?” Then, they stared at each other in disbelief. Sure, they didn’t even know each other. Tobi gathered his courage, cleared his throat and then explained, “Well, we do not know Ben and Jo!” He paused, and for a moment, searched almost desperately for words. He noticed Muk standing half-hidden by the open patio door, apparently wanting to watch the two men wriggle out of this uncomfortable round of questions. One could hardly explain to the two ladies that their former companions had tried to kill them, and had, therefore put them on ice.

After a deep sigh, Tobi added, “My colleague and I found you sleeping in the bedroom when we arrived after check-in. Of course, we were surprised to find guests in the apartment we rented for two weeks. It was impossible to wake you two since you were sleeping so deeply. We then decided to take you to the terrace and let you sleep in the lounge chairs, hoping you would wake up soon – as we all know, fresh air and morning sun are good for everyone!”

The two young women nodded somewhat dreamily and seemed to be thinking. Enna finally interjected, frowning, “So I had only known Ben for a few days through a dating company in Miami Beach that provides holiday partners, which is common practice these days!” She giggled and then continued with a very severe look on her face, “All I know is that when we got here, he wanted to take a shower while I rested out here on the terrace listening to music. Suddenly, he appeared in front of me, naked and soaking wet, ripped off my headphones. He furiously shouted about an idiotic shower that couldn’t be used properly and accused me of not wanting to help when he called. He seemed completely out of his mind, pulled me very violently up from the chair and carried me away. That’s all I remember!”

Dorli grinned in amazement and confessed, “It was practically the same with me, that’s unbelievable. The difference is that Jo came soaking wet, and cursing terribly, to the bedroom and brutally dragged me out of bed, where I rested wearing earplugs. This ultra-modern shower must have been installed here by the devil to infuriate guests and divide couples!”
Both young women expressed the suspicion that perhaps they had been given a new type of sleep aid that could last for several days. So that their temporary partners could quickly get rid of them and escape.

Tobi saw Muk throw his head back and momentarily roll his eyes at the sky in great relief before turning around and stalking away.
Now Sverre jumped up, clapped his hands and spoke up, "The ladies want to refresh themselves after all the exertion. Come on, the large room at the end of the corridor is ready for you, and there is a separate bathroom next to it - so you don't have to use the damn conflictual shower. See you at the table in 20 minutes. It's high time for breakfast!"
Dorli and Enna got up and quickly scurried away with their luggage. The two glaciologists looked at each other triumphantly and smiled. Muk’s voice came from behind, “I’m proud of you two. You did a wonderful job!”

A little later, the four sat at the lavishly laid breakfast table and enjoyed Muk’s culinary variations. Dorli and Enna had freshly combed hair, a touch of make-up, and wore cheerful patterned beach dresses. Soon, the four of them chatted as if they had known each other for a long time. Sverre and Tobi invited the two ladies to spend the day on a sailing trip, which was immediately well received.
They had a wonderful day at sea. Over dinner on the terrace they decided to spend the next ten days together, alternating between sailing trips and car excursions to explore the Keys.
The four of them got along incredibly, as Muk had predicted: Sverre and Dorli fell head-over-heels in love and never stopped looking at each other, overjoyed and holding hands. At first, they didn't even notice that the same thing had happened to Tobi and Enna because they were so absorbed in themselves.

The rooms had long since been redistributed and Muk was busy pampering his guests. On the last evening at dinner under the stars, the two happy couples celebrated their engagement and vowed to marry next year.
Muk stood there, touched, and looked up at the sea of stars, a tear rolled down his face. Then as emotionally as possible for him, he said, "If I could, I would dance for joy right now, but unfortunately, I'm not programmed to do that!"

The four returned every year and later brought their children with them.

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